My Best Friend’s Wedding

At the end of September, Claire got married. It was hairspray and lip kits. It was spanks and strapless bras. It was candles, mood lighting, and a gaggle of women in robes with rollers in.

The world talks about weddings as the coming together of two people and two families. Two become one. But when you’re in someone’s wedding and, honestly, even in regards to my own wedding it’s mostly an experience surrounded by the amazing women in your life. It’s best friends and sisters, best friends who are sisters, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. It’s women helping you adjust your breasts in your dress. It’s women standing at the door of a stall, chatting, while you pee. It’s shared joy in hummus dip, it’s delight over Fritos and knowing how to eat Doritos without messing up your expensive makeup. It’s someone who remembered to bring the straws for champagne and the perfect music playlists. It’s hours of sitting around half dressed, loving on each other, telling each other how beautiful you are because you are, and occasionally looking over to the bride in a communal sigh of can you believe it. It’s the silent side eyes, it’s the army of protection around the bride who needs a quiet minute to herself before she walks down the aisle. And I’m sorry to that random aunt who I barred from entering, but my job is to care about one person on that day and I’ve got her back more than I care about your feelings.

View More: http://dsmith.pass.us/clairelincolnweddingpt3

I was chatting with Claire’s little sister about what it’s like to watch your person get married. And I told her for me (for us) the emotion doesn’t come from the love between Claire and Lincoln. That is their experience. My emotion comes from watching one of the people I love most in the entire world take a leap. Watching Claire move through a major life milestone, take a risk, say the vows, move forward – that is why I cry. I cry because that’s my person up there. It matters because I love that she is happy, I love that she is living in this moment and I get to see it all unfold.

Weddings are, of course, about the two people promising their lives to each other, but they are also all about the community of women who have supported us, are supporting us, and will be there when you get back from your honeymoon. They will be there when you hate your partner and have left for a walk with just your cell phone and your house keys. They will be there when your partner is sick and when there are babies and when you need to go out in the world alone to remember who you are. And they are there for this one great moment that will define so much of your future.

Major Summer Project Number One: Makeover, Wall Edition

One of the major summer projects at Chez Duprez this year was to frame the G-D pictures. From All The Things, you might say. It started out as a completion of the nerd wall, and then we thought – while we’re at it we should probably put up some wedding photos, and then why stop there when we could custom frame the two pieces of art I’ve been lugging around in tubes for the last 7-10 years?!

The first time we showed off our new grown up living room, I was pretty stoked over lamps and Floyd. Since then we decided to do chuck the old photo-collage element and make some new ones. The nerd wall houses a Star Wars poster by Lawrence Noble, signed and doodled on (a yoda head) by Mr. Noble himself.

Then there are 4 limited edition prints of concept art from Jurassic Park signed by Crash McCreery (creature designer extraordinaire) and signed by Stan Winston (the amazing make-up/visual effects artist who passed away in 2008).

Kamel has the full collection, but we could only fit 4 and he’s been carrying them around from place to place since 2007ish.

Above the TV (our mantle, if you will), are two sections of photos. On the right are these 4 prints. Clockwise from top left: Wedding photos, Barcelona photo, Mexico City family photo, Honeymoon photo at Chitcha Nitza.

On the left are 9 instagrams we’ve printed and framed. These will rotate depending on our whims.

This is a sketch that Maris brought back from Paris many, many, many moons ago. I’ve moved it from Illinois, to Seattle, to San Francisco, to Seattle, and back to San Francisco. Finally we had it professionally framed and now it hangs out on the wall with all of the windows, above our red overstuffed chair.

We’ve finally dressed up the walls in our dining room as well, but this room cannot be unveiled quite yet. We are in the middle of switching it from the-place-we-put-all-of-our-mail-and-occasionally-eat-dinner to a shared office for Kamel and I. So for these, only the stuff on the walls are visible.

This sketch of Venus is probably one of my most prized possessions. It was the only expensive thing I bought for myself in Paris and I got it at the store in the Louvre. I almost lost it 3 times. First by leaving it under an ATM in Paris – a homeless man chased me down with it. Second in the Houston airport at the security check point because I was going to be late for my connection, and third in the Seattle airport in the lady’s bathroom, trying to transport it and a gift for my parents back home. And now finally it has a home.

This is one of my favorite wedding photos – the bridesmaids waving like goobers at the photographer.

Peeking out from a ginormous tree.

And this is one of our favorite wedding shots ever ever ever. Not posed, just walking down the stairs, heading back to the reception venue. We have never looked so accidentally glamorous, so we decided to make it gallery-sized.

I cannot wait to show you how the dining room/office turns out! But until then I’m really excited to have so much color and vibrant life moments splashed all over our walls. Major summer project number 1: Complete.

One year ago I was nearing the end of engagement and was entering the land of Wedding Do-Mode.

The Good Stuff and The Bad Stuff

I wrote this big ginormous post this weekend, shaking while I wrote it because that’s what happens when I admit to feeling in a way I wish I wasn’t feeling. When I’ve tried ignoring something and kept my mouth shut, gritted my teeth, and plastered on a smile and then finally come clean with the truth – that’s when I shake. It’s a tell and I hate it.

Kamel saw my writing it, saw me shaking, asked if I wanted lunch.

Not now, I said while pushing my fingertips on my forehead trying to find the words to explain how I feel, how I’ve felt.

We’ve almost been married a year. It’s almost June and our anniversary is in July. That’s weird. Time is so bizarre. I keep saying that but it never ceases to be true.

I say this because there’s something that I’ve been struggling with for even longer than that. And because it’s been almost a year since our wedding day saying what bothers me out loud makes me feel petty.

And instead of publishing the big post I wrote this weekend, I’m going to talk about how you shouldn’t feel shitty for caring about the circumstances around your wedding. I feel like there is a pervasive idea that says a wedding = a big grand prize.

Being single is terrible! Everyone is trying to get to that marriage finish line! You are so lucky to be getting married. Everyone is here for you. Your wedding is just a big party in your honor. You should be grateful that people even showed up for this. What more do you want?

I hate these sentiments. Marriage is not any kind of finish line. It’s the end and the beginning. It is the start of a new stage of life, but a stage that is not necessary for everyone. A wedding is not just a big party, it’s a celebration of people and love, of the people getting married, of the love they share, of the leap they’re taking, of all the family and friends who had a hand in this union, of individuals and of the We. It’s a chance to introduce family, to honor family and friends, to give thanks. For me it was the most overwhelmingly emotional day of my life.

And I am struggling with a very dark cloud that hovers over my memories of that day, and my feelings about what happened and how people acted before, during, and after. But! a lot of the attitude about these feelings from myself and from others has been: You got married, so why does it matter? Get over it.

It matters because my wedding day mattered to me. My engagement mattered to me. It wasn’t just playing dress up, it was including a new family into my life and a expecting a chance to be welcomed into there’s. Not everything went the way I wish it could have gone. We couldn’t invite everyone we wanted to invite, we couldn’t afford all of the things I wanted to be able to afford. But I worked really hard to include the culture and tradition of both families, and to honor both families. I did the best I could, even if it wasn’t perfect.

And the wedding is over. Almost a year over now. So I should be able to let it all go. I got my happy ending, right?

Except there is no ending. Life and family continue. A wedding is not a big fucking prize. And what was just one day of inconvenience, of ceremony and hand shaking and picture taking for everyone involved, was a year of me being ignored, shoved aside, treated with less respect than I treat strangers, and being told to just let it go, get over it, move on. Lauren really just needs to get over it. This is how it’s always going to be. She needs to learn that now.

And I’m writing about this because I feel really alone in these feelings. My wedding happened and everyone ate and drank and danced and posed for photos and then they all went home. And I was left with a lot of hurt and sadness (and joy and relief) that was never acknowledged. Something really great happened to me when I got married, I gained a husband and began a new chapter. Every day I am really grateful for that. But that’s not the whole story and I don’t want to feel like the inconvenient feelings aren’t just as important.

And maybe this happened to you too. Or maybe you’re single and you’re tired of everyone telling you that, one day you’ll find the right person, one day you’ll get married. Because marriage is not easier than being single. It is just as hard because it’s still life, it’s just a different kind of life, a different kind of challenge.

Every once in a while Kamel and I talk about the difference between getting married and having a baby. When you get married you make a lot of enemies. People are jealous of you, family feels obligation towards you, a lot of money is involved, some people feel like you’re getting this big goddamn celebration for what? For yourselves? Big fucking deal.

But when you’re going to have a baby suddenly everyone is your best friend. Your creating a grandbaby, a niece, a nephew, a cute snuggly thing that will carry on a certain family name, people line up to give you baby socks and to rub your belly. You can suddenly do no wrong.

This is bullshit.

Having a baby doesn’t make anyone a saint, or suddenly a good family member. And having a wedding isn’t selfish, it isn’t cause for contempt and it certainly isn’t ever alllll about the bride and groom. Life is hard, even the good things, and when we allow each other to have mixed feelings, to celebrate with just as much gusto as we apologize, to acknowledge the good and the bad – that’s when we really and truly appreciate one another. When we push it aside and pretend it isn’t there, then we fail. And I really don’t want to fail.

My Best Friend’s Wedding

So Maris got married last weekend.  Remember how she had her engagement photos by Christy Tyler many many moons ago? And now she is married. Time zooms my friends, time zooms.

And now that it is all said and done, now that it all went beautifully, now that the I Do’s are over and there were no major catastrophes and the flowers were spectacular, now I can talk about it. (As I do, with everything…)

This is a really difficult post for me to write because it’s ridiculously emotional. So bare with me if it unravels a bit in places.

When Maris got engaged I was SO excited for her. Ridiculously, jump-around-in-my-dining-room excited. When she called me I thought that either catastrophe had occurred or she was engaged. I was really stoked that it was the good one. Alex proposed in March of 2011, before Kamel and I had gotten married.

During my engagement Maris had really helped me with decisions on the pretty things, had been there while I vented frustrations and been totally 100% gung-ho for any artistically-minded decision Kamel and I made for our ceremony, reception, anything. She had flown out from Chicago for every wedding event and had always had the attitude of, “What do you need?” So, hot damn, I was going to do the same for her!

But, there’s something about my friends that I don’t talk about very often publicly but that I feel and worry about and feel stung by more then I want to admit: They all have sisters.

My best friends, who are part of who I am deep down inside, who I love very very much, who are my biggest cheer leaders, who have been to every major life event, who I would not be Lauren without… have real life sisters. And I don’t have any siblings at all, let alone a sister. So sometimes it’s clear that family comes first and I take second position. But what happens when they are my family?

There were some things about Maris’s engagement that made me feel things I didn’t expect. I realized that my best friend’s wedding wasn’t going to be like my wedding just because we were close. That was kind of hard for me. Irrationally difficult. Though I did my best to shove it way deep down, I wasn’t always successful. So in order to not put any kind of shadow onto the wedding Maris had wanted and dreamed about for such a long time, I actively took a step back, watched her sister run the show, decided that it was my job to be supportive of the decisions Maris made instead of being an active participant in those decisions. I was going to show up on her wedding day with a, “What do you need?” attitude and stand at the front of the room with her while she did her thing, and watch from the side lines.

It wasn’t always easy, it wasn’t always easy last weekend even though there was so much joy. It sounds crazy but there is a certain amount of melancholy as a bystander to a wedding that I didn’t know about. Especially when you’re watching someone so close to you take a step forward. Maybe that’s why there are so many tears at these things. Forward sometimes feels like they are walking a bit away from you, even if it’s not totally true.

The relationship I have with my best friends isn’t … normal. Most people don’t understand it. Sometimes that makes me prickle and sometimes I understand. Most people have friends and they hang out and they keep tabs on each other and they are around for the good things. But my best friends, whether I always like it or not, are there for all of the good and all of the bad. We survive epic fights and we make epic memories. We are our biggest cheer leaders and we can also hurt each other terribly. So it made sense to me, though it also stung a bit, when Maris’s sister made a totally benign comment that the 4 of us needing our own professional photo together with Maris before the wedding was… funny. It is funny. It’s weird. We’re weird. We are closer than we should be, but I love it and I am so incredibly blessed because of it.

Watching Maris get married was like getting married again. Not that I feel wed to Alex, but I felt just as overwhelmed as I did on my own wedding day, but different. I cried during the rehearsal, during the wedding, during the reception. I struggled not to cry when I read Maris’s sister’s toast before we were even dressed. When I read what Maris’s sister had wrote my first thought was, “Holy shit that was good.” And my second thought, the even louder thought, was, “I wish someone would say this about me.” That sounds sort of depressing and selfish, but if you had read or heard that speech I bet you would have felt the same. It was lovely.

When I heard Maris’s sister read her speech at the reception, I cried… a lot. But not because I wanted someone to say that to me, because I felt all of those things about Maris too. And it was beautiful and totally spot on.

It makes me really sad that I will never be a maid of honor. This is one of those things that is stupid when you say out loud, but means something when you think about it. I had 3 maids of honor, but they all have sisters.

I have never had the chance to watch someone so close to me do something that simultaneously scares the shit out of them, thrills them, and is what they’ve wanted for years. Not until this weekend. And I was so happy to see it. I was so happy for her. She walked down the aisle and she said her vows, and they were beautiful, and she made her choice and then she danced like a goofball and sang along with the music and loved on her husband and did it all in front of everyone she knows and cares for and I was so proud of her.

I am really proud of her.

Gifting Joy – The Book

For Christmas we gave our parents two different (but also the same) photo books of our wedding. There were so many photos and I knew that our parents were struggling with only being able to print and frame some of them, not allllll of them. How do you pick? And then what happens with the rest of them? Wedding photos today are not the same as wedding photos when our parents got married. They have real photos in real books and if there were any other pictures that were taken… they don’t exist in the world anymore. All 900+ of mine will live on forever in the digital world (the good and the good (and the bad)). That’s hard for our parents to wrap their brains around.

Kamel researched the best product for the right price, and with my history and practice with photo layout I designed the books. It was incredibly fun and an incredibly personal experience. We set out to paint the real picture of that day, tell the story of what happened before we forget the details: the stamps that my parents picked out to go on the drink card envelopes, the mariachis being amazing before we arrived to the reception, the spontaneous conga line, the laughing, the dancing, the MOMENTS.

So we shipped my parent’s book off to Seattle to have them open it on Christmas eve with my family all there. (It went over fabulously.) Then we took Kamel’s parent’s book to Mexico City to share with his mom and his many aunts and great aunts and cousins. This is the moment Kamel’s mom opened the book, and the moments afterward as she flipped through it with Kamel’s aunt Claudia, who also read at our wedding, and Kamel’s fabulous grandma.

Sharing joy with family and friends is the best gift I can think to give and the best experience to share. It all comes full circle. Be with the people you love during joyful events and share the joyful memories with those same people. Beautiful.

A Wedding Deconstruction

So. My wedding photos. They were awesome. In some of them I felt like I looked amazing – in others I had about 50 double chins, weird facial expressions, a giant chewbaca arm, a phantom gut I blame on the dress because let me assure you – there is no pooch, but magically in a good amount of the photos – POOCH. And! There are a few where I actually look about 4 months pregnant. It doesn’t help that there are also pictures of Kamel holding one of his baby cousins – a beautiful little Mexican girl who could totally pass as our kid. Every time she was in a picture we would say, “Oh look… and there’s our baby!”She was a total doll.

Anyways – the photos I shared were the good ones. The ones that I thought looked shockingly good, or had some amazingly badass moments of emotion. And when I posted them everyone kept telling me how gorgeous I looked and how stunning they were, etc etc. And I was literally sitting on my couch the whole time this was happening, with effed up hair, a big pimple on my NOSE (which is the worst place, really it is… except for maybe anywhere near the lip region… *shudder*), in my PJs. And I remember distinctly walking to the bathroom and glancing in the mirror and thinking, fuuuuck. Who is that girl in those photos? I will never ever be that person ever again. And how bizarro to be putting myself out there as that person when here I am, normal Lauren without fake eyelashes (love those, love those so hard), no makeup, not even a shower, sans the pretty dress and up-do.I am really not that glamorous.

And of course, none of us are THAT glamorous. Wedding glamor and the wedding glow is a unique thing for certain. A once in a lifetime look, for sure. But you know what? There were moments of glow and I definitely felt like the best version of myself at my wedding, but it’s not attainable. That look and those moments will never be captured again. And let’s just be real about all of that ok? Nose pimple and all.

So let’s look at some more realistic shots… the shot that aren’t amazingly on point because life moves. Let’s do it. Let’s take a leap and be super honest.

I don’t know… I thought I looked cuter than I did, apparently.

And you thought previous shots of boob were intense. I mean, look at that cleave!! Put those away, Lauren! You’re about to enter a church! Fuuuck.

Oh! finally a picture of us sitting. And a terrible, terrible attempt at a wink. Wink fail.

Claire is the boob whisperer, and let’s all just take a moment to appreciate that this moment, the moment of tucking my boobs back into my dress, has been documented. Lauren Carroll is a freaking rockstar, I’m not even kidding.

What a pair of fat kids we are in this photo. I mean, have you ever seen two people MORE excited about a cake?

There is nothing “cute” about this photo. PUT THAT CAKE IN MY MAW!

And finally… WHY do I keep pulling my face back like that? I mean… REALLY. It’s not attractive, Lauren, keep those chins at bay!

Of course these aren’t horrible, I mean… there aren’t any nip-slips or really distorted faces. But I’m not that air brushed. I’m just not. We are goofy and real. And with all of the untagging and “don’t you put that photo on the internet!” and digital photo retakes, “Take it again, no, I hate it – do it again. No, not that either, again,” I thought maybe we could all take a deep breath and acknowledge that even on our wedding day, we look like normal people. Even with the best of photographers capturing the best moments while we are the best selves we’ve ever been.

And sometimes emotional moments are messy and imperfect. I’ll be the first to admit it. Chair wedding and all. Let’s all be a little braver about showing reality vs perfection.

Getting Married, Part 2

So, where were we? The ceremony was over and we had taken some adorbs shots around my high school while the rest of the guests and the wedding party went to get there drink on with some swiggity sweet Mariachis back at the reception. By the time I had stomped up and down stairs, walked in grass, stood stood stood I wanted to kill my pretty shoes. Thankfully, I had flats waiting for me under my chair. Sweet feet hope is what they were.

The first thing I did in the limo was take off my shoes, the second thing was take a photo of my new husband and put it on facebook, as you do. For the 15 minute drive to the reception it was just Kamel and I (and Lauren), and we got to bounce around and say “We’re MARRIED, We’re MARRIED!” and not have to be in front of all of our friends and family. It was a huge relief. When we showed up, we were greeted at the car with champagne and lots of helping hands. I stepped out barefoot and in a dress that had suddenly gotten 4 inches longer.

The way the reception was supposed to work was like this: cocktail hour with mariachis, everyone standing around, appetizers on trays and champagne on trays floating around the mingling crowd, we walk in and everyone says YAY! And we mingle and then everyone sits down for dinner.

(Oh my, that picture just makes me laugh) But when we walked in in real life, everyone was sitting. There were a few people over near the bar, I guess, but in general everyone was already sitting. This threw Kamel and I for a total loop since no one had given us a headsup that things had not gone exactly according to plan and we had no idea what to do next. We had… never done this before.

So, we did the “yay we’re here!” thing, got champagne, let the crowd clap, then walked through the tables to ours in the back, where – shockingly – no one was sitting (Where was the wedding party and our parents?), and we sat down. Everyone else was sitting, so that’s what we did. And then, because I was still barefoot and that was starting to feel awkward, I asked Kamel to help me strap on my sandals. But, instead of going back to whatever they were doing before, about half our guests started cheering something I had never heard until that day, again and again, and everyone was staring at us. All while Kamel was helping me with my shoes. And this is the one part of the wedding we hated, as in completely cringe when we think of, because it was also one of the most uncomfortable, confusing, and embarrassing things that has ever happened to either one of us. While I was writing this post Kamel actually squirmed and said, “No! I don’t want to relive that moment!” It was pretty bad, and it seemed like it would never end.

It’s strange, and you wouldn’t think this would be true, but because you’re the bride and groom people expect you to know how to do everything; cut a giant cake, know exactly how to make an enterance, what the proper response is to cheers and toasts and things, all of it. All while you’re in a whirlwind of, “holyshit check out what I just did! ah! married!”

Navigating tradition is strange. It’s been there for generations, but you don’t experience it until you experience it and then you never do again.

Continue reading “Getting Married, Part 2”

Getting Married, Part 1

A week before the wedding I thought I had it all figured out. If I had to do it over again I was confident with what I would ditch and what I would keep. I told my mom that a wedding was not worth it. It wasn’t. If I had to do it over again I would have had an ultra small wedding (parents, 3 best friends, ta da), a dinner at a great restaurant and a honeymoon. Bam. No fancy dress, no hullabaloo.

What I thought the week before the wedding was: how silly of me to believe I would regret not having aspects of the wedding I had imagined growing up – nothing happened the way I thought it would during engagement, and busting my butt for the reception and the favors and the details had not ended up making me feel awesome. The week before the wedding it made me feel like I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t feel at all the way I thought I would about the things I thought I would.

This is an excerpt from the post over at A Practical Wedding that’s running today. Go check it out for the meaningful, deep down feelings I had and the general goings on of the wedding + photos.

I had millions (10s of 10s) of photos I have been chomping at the bit to share because ZOMG wedding photos!!! So EXCITED! And I could only fit about a pinky nail’s worth of photos in my APW post. So today I’m going to share some of the other details not mentioned over there, with some other photos not shown over there. Dueling posts for the win! A little bit of this and a little bit of that. And so forth.

First, our photographer, Lauren Carroll, was one of the top 5 best decisions about the wedding we made. We met way back in 2005 when we were both interning (and simultaneously hating our lives) in Winston-Salem. She was rocking it in the photo-journalism department of the newspaper, and I was bored out of my mind in sales and marketing at a publishing company.

We had been keeping in touch casually, and I had always been a huge huge fan, so when Kamel also loved her photos, I jumped on her, virtually. And thank god she said yes, and thank god she was willing to fly all the way across the country. Because not only was I honored to have her taking our photos, I was honored to have her in such an intimate space. Loving your photographer and having a great relationship with them is key, they’ll be with you all day. And Lauren was a huge part of why our wedding was so fun. Seriously.

The above picture is for sure the, “is it going to close?!” scenario. It closed, despite my boobs.

Another amazing decision we made was to go with fake flowers. Fake! The jig is up! (There really was no jig in the first place.) I could not have anticipated, though I did believe it would happen, just how insane the week before the wedding was. We had travel, and appointments, things to wrap up, things to literally wrap, dinners and meetings and blahblablah. It was insanity.

Thankfully past Lauren had been looking out for future Lauren, and present Lauren (at that time) was hardcore grateful. Who has time to think about boutonnieres at a time like this?  At a time like this small details get shelved and you barrel forth.

But, luckily there was no shelving to be done because little details like bouquets, hair accessories, boutonnieres, chapel decorations, and gifts for my bridesmaids had all been purchased way in advance and had, for the most part, been kickin’ it in a closet somewhere in Seattle just waiting to be unearthed. I was ridiculously grateful for those months of foresight.

Crazy things about the morning that didn’t go at all as planned? Being very unclear on when our dresses (bridesmaids, mother and me) would be finished steaming, showing up to our hair/makeup appointments and standing in the rain with the stylists for 30 min because the opener never showed, oh and speaking of the rain …

Continue reading “Getting Married, Part 1”

… And Then We Lost Our Minds

This was our first weekend officially in the new place, as opposed to moving into the new place, and we were both really looking forward to the sitting around time. The weekend was really uneventful. The apartment was quiet, we walked to the store, I worked in the living room while Kamel played new video games that he never ever can get enough of (for the love of god), we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to use a gift card and finish getting random stuff for the bathroom, I had plans to make bread sticks from my grandmother’s recipe on sunday so I bought a rolling pin.

This weekend was just not noteworthy. There really wasn’t any stories. We laughed at each other a lot, Kamel made fun of me hitting on the Trader Joes bagger guy (“Oh my, Mr. Bagger Man, you use the paper bags for your recycling TOO?!”), I accidentally dropped my glasses into a garbage can we were looking at in the store and made Kamel laugh so loud we literally frightened a man shopping next to us (who then scurried away) and that made me laugh harder than I was and also turn into a tomato, which made Kamel exclaim “You’re SO red!” between gulps of air, which then made me double over.

And then Sunday rolled around, lazily, and opened with cereal and cuddles. Oh, and our wedding photos.

[cue the screech of the record]

And that’s when our plans went straight out the window. There was the initial screening of all 960 photos, more laughing at all of my millions of double chins when I pull my head back and laugh, laughing at Kamel’s loss of neck, laughing at unsuspecting guests in the background in weird poses or staring off into the distance or being silly, and marveling at how much we don’t remember. Then there was the tagging and sorting. What do we send to our parents? What do we put in the vault to never show anyone ever again? What photos do we want? What are our favorites?

By the time we were done it was 5pm, I had a headache, hadn’t showered, and was wearing a dress from the dirty clothes and a sports bra. Plans like getting tires for the car, or making those bread sticks went right out the window. This morning Kamel asked me, “Why didn’t we do that?! Why didn’t we take care of things? AH!” And I said, “Because we got our wedding photos …. AND WE LOST OUR MINDS.”

I’ll be sharing photos after the post goes live on A Practical Wedding (this week!), but I can’t resist giving you a sneak peak.

Bits and Pieces

I realize I haven’t really talked about the wedding here. I talked about the day before and about the honeymoon, but nada about the wedding. And I bet you’re thinking “I feel totally cheated!” and you should. But the only reason I’m not talking about it yet is because we’re waiting for photos. So, once we get those and decide what we’re showing to the world, I’ll plaster some of them here and elsewhere and tell you what happened. And you will laugh and you will cringe and you will look forward to your next wedding where you are a guest and not the two up at the front in the overly fancy clothes, lemme tell ya.

Anyway – that one lined note turned into a whole paragraph! How did that happen?! What I really wanted to say was: yesterday I went for a walk in the sunshine (So very rare here in SF) and our first dance song came on the ipod, and it totally floored me with how much it choked me up. Like full on fist in throat, tears in eyes, choked up. And I don’t even remember our first dance all that much! But that song, it gets me. So I thought I would share it here. Just a bit of our wedding, Kamel and I on the dance floor, twirling slowly (if you can do such a thing) and for a minute, feeling like we were alone. Or as alone as we could be.