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Identity Capital

Last Friday a video was posted on someone’s status a Ted Talk about how 30 is not the new 20 and I thought… ok… this could either be really interesting or it could make me feel even more panicked about turning 30. Which has sort of decreased since I wrote that. I’m coming to terms, shall we say.

Anyway, you should watch the video because it talks about Identity Capital and I thought it was fascinating. I’ve seen, through Gabe, how in so many ways we are born with a giant junk of who we are already pre programmed. He is a ball of his own personality already and he is only 1 and a half. But then there is this whole other section where we get to grow and evolve. We get to learn and change. We should learn and change, and our 20s is when that is supposed to happen.

You’re supposed to take risks and search for the things you have decided are important for you, change your mind and search for other things. You’re supposed to be setting yourself up, building your identity resume. Who are you? What do you want to be?

So I started to think about my 20s as 10 years of prep work instead of the time to achieve. It wasn’t the time for me to publish a book, it wasn’t the time for me to hit middle management, it’s the time to get all the pre-recs out of the way. Clearly, everyone’s pre-recs are different and this is not to say that everyone’s 20s should or even could look like mine. This is not a list that should be checked off in the name of a successful life, it is just my identity capital, personalized for me.

I finished my education.

I lived in a few places.

I pieced together that resume that includes 3-5 years of X that will hopefully propel me into the next level at some point.

I took risks that could never happen when more financial stability would be a necessity. I took risks that were good and that were bad.

I made mistakes but in a good way, in the way where the difference between what you have and what you want becomes so very clear. I made mistakes in a bad way, where I missed the chance for something I actually did want and had to adjust my path in order to let that go.

I dated with the intent of finding the person I wanted to be with forever.

I found him and kept him.

I had my first baby.

I also fought some demons and won.

All of this is telling me the next decade is going to be pretty great. I won’t have to do any of those things because I already did them. Check, check, check. Now I get to do some other stuff. Finish writing a book, do more career-y things, take different risks.

But, I want to know. What has your identity capital been? What as the last decade done for you? What pre-recs have you completed? Check, Check,and  Check.

**By the way, this is my 1,000th post. I’ve been too busy to pay attention and just now realized it. So, hooray! 1000! That is a lot. Thank you for reading and commenting and being fantastic.***


Things, October

Lately I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, or very early in the morning (Depending on my intention) thinking it smells like something. Generally that something is hot garbage. Kamel things I’m having a stroke. Maybe my nose is dreaming? Either way it’s a little unsettling and rather frustrating to think you smell something that no one else does. No fair. The SF Giants won the world series again yesterday and I don’t really care because been there, done that, saw the parade, and they really aren’t my team. But lots of people love them, so that is fun. What I really keep thinking is why that bearded...


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Brought To You By Fun

Lack of posting brought to you by Monday Night Football and the Seattle Seahawks win over Washington [name removed for incredibly racist content]. Thank you Seahawks Facebook Page.  What are you choosing to indulge in this week? (I also had a giant pre-packaged rice krispie treat yesterday and it was sooooo delicious.)


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The Family Name

During engagement Kamel and I talked a lot about what we wanted to do with our names. Initially I thought I would turn Dupuis into my middle name and simply be Lauren Perez, but it just didn’t feel right. Actually, both Kamel and I would turn Dupuis into our middle names and Perez into our last, but it just didn’t work for me. So as engagement progressed and we were referring to the wedding as the Dupuis-Perez wedding it became more and more clear that that was how we viewed the creation of our new family. We decided to be Lauren and Kamel Dupuis-Perez. But! With all of the details of the wedding being out of state (in Seattle...


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The Long Weekend-ing

This weekend we took Friday off and spent the morning packing, doing laundry, Kamel worked unexpectedly, and after the baby’s nap we headed north to Canada for Kamel’s birthday. I found a sale on the 4 Seasons (Kamel’s favorite hotel chain) and we spent 2 nights and 3 days-ish exploring, swimming, and robe-wearing. This was Kamel’s first time ever in Canada! And Vancouver is so much cooler than I ever remember it being. Here is the breakdown of events: The drive to Vancouver was supposed to be about 2.5 hours, but due to a stop at Target and massive traffic ended up taking 4.5. About 1.5 hours from the hotel the baby...


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Better Than Real Life Advice

Dear Lauren: Do you believe in astrological signs? My son is a Virgo and I’ve read up about his personality type…should I be parenting him in any special way because he’s a Virgo? Or is it all a bunch of crap? Help! Always, Astrologically Confused in NY Oh Astrologically Confused! Your question warms the cockles of my already warm and rather weepy heart! Do I believe in astrological signs? I am obsessed with astrological signs! I have a ram tattoo on my wrist for my sign (aries) and a fish tattoo on my forearm for my son’s sign (pisces). My husband is a Virgo and his Virgo tendencies drive me bonkers, so I am...


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Who the hell is she?


Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.