What My Secrets Are

I’m pretty much madly in love with Mary Lambert and this new song made me exceptionally happy the other day when I heard it on the radio for the first time. In honor of this, let’s talk secrets:

  • During quiet moments at work I totally caress my chin hairs
  • Sometimes I can’t pee if I know someone is in the stall next to me, and then I I get self conscious that I’m not peeing and then I have to like FORCE myself to pee just to break the awkward no-pee stand off.
  • I really only put pants on to leave the house or when people are coming over.
  • I’m always shocked at how I look when I see videos of myself and I am never happy with it.
  • I wish I would have gone to school to be a psychologist. I think I would have been so good at it.
  • I like beets, I tolerate broccoli, I enjoy green beans, but what I really want is an endless supply of Lucky Charms.
  • Sometimes I fantasize about throwing Kamel’s beloved electronics out the window when I’m mad at him. 0___0
  • I love grannie panties. Love em.

Your turn. Secrets. Let them freeeee!


Things, July

It happened. I forgot the chicken in the slow cooker overnight. I woke up to the smell of burnt lime, chili, and expensive organic chicken. It smells the same as regular GMO hormone and antibiotic chicken probably. Except the smell in my house costs more money. Remember that post about how I don’t run anymore? Well this morning I went for a run. Last weekend we did an Amazing Race inspired birthday party for Kathleen and we ran all over Seattle (meaning sprinting to and from clue to car to other clue, back to car) and I was sore for 2 days after. Plus I was super out of running shape. Plus I felt like an idiot. Plus it has been so...


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The Light Between Oceans: A Review

Since having a baby my ability to watch, read, hear things about kids has totally changed. Gabe may have saved me but he also broke me, too. That whole thing in the news right now about the guy who left his 3 year old to die in the car on a hot day? I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t even discuss it with Kamel without absolutely breaking down in tears. I can’t watch movies where there is a stressful child situation, I can barely tolerate Game of Thrones when babies are involved. It’s just something about knowing, really knowing what a newborn sounds like, feels like, how helpless they are. Seeing Gabe’s face...


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Oh man, what to say? The weekend after a three day weekend is always the shortest weekend on the planet. What a tease you were, weekend. The baby is on a wake-up-super-early-every-day kick and it is killing me. KILLING ME. I already wake up at 5am during the week in order to work out, so on the weekends I really… REALLY need at least a 6:30 or 7:00 sleep in schedule. But no. Not even with staying up past baby bedtime on Friday did we get a sleep in. Nope. So I am writing this on Sunday night and I am DRAGGING. Oh, 5 day week, how you will stomp on me and spit me out, I just know it. This weekend was errands errands errands, cleaning...


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Searching for the Happies

My grumps have not subsided. Certain things I can usually shrug off are hitting me deep and hard. For the inside myself part of the show things have been no bueno for a lot of the time. Muddle through, get through the day, try not to bite Kamel’s head off, try not to comment on such and such so as not to start an avalanche of unnecessary drama. I feel like holding yourself back in the world of the constant ability to have a public opinion deserves a round of applause. Hey everyone! I didn’t start shit! Hoooray! My ability to hold myself back doesn’t happen too often, so let it be known: This week Lauren didn’t burn the place down!...


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Who the hell is she?


I am a writer living in Seattle and I believe that life is a grand adventure and only boring if you believe it to be. Plus! You don't need money to have fun.

I live with my husband, a photographer by education and a maker-of-video-games by trade, and a baby named gabe in an apartment on the hill.

I am romantic about most things and I cry... about almost anything. I tell stories to entertain you, I spread stories to keep you in the loop. I am not a grammar freak, but I do know how to spell it. I am exceedingly proud of my scrambled eggs and I really could eat an entire pan of cupcakes. If I met me, I would be my best friend. I tend to be irreverent.

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.