Okayest Parenting, A Podcast

Are you wanting even more parenting chatter? I have teamed up with two other moms (the amazing and smart and lovely Kelly and Hayley) to launch the World’s Okayest Moms Podcast because being the world’s best is 1) overrated and 2) epic bullshit.

We have two episodes up and it is just the beginning! We are still hammering out flow and some … technical issues (like my audio just cutting out half way through and then needing to be editing back in like a sad patch in your favorite jeans!), but stick with us! We will be publishing every other week and you’ll hear amazing gems like:

  • How Kelly has her daughter cooking in the kitchen and making meals that her 2 year old actually EATS most of the time!
  • Hayley’s totally real set up of drinking a glass of wine, standing in the kitchen, while her daughter eats dinner. (Sounds like fucking heaven.)
  • Batteries. Will change your life.

Also you can follow us on twitter! 

Bottom line: We’re all pretty ok. And that’s fantastic.

Monday Night

Some days I feel like, “Fuck Yeah.”

The days I finish 5 to 6 projects for work and finish a creative side project and manage to not have any folded laundry just sitting on the couch and also somehow make dinner, even if it is prepackaged from Trade Joes.

Sometimes I’m all, “Have it all! That’s RIGHT.”

And then sometimes I am covered in piles of laundry and the counters have stacks and stacks of dishes and there are pots and pans on every burner and the oven fan is on full blast, and I keep having to ask Kamel, “Do see smoke?” as I peer up at the ceiling and I have to check to see if my glasses are just smeared. But regarldess, the fan is on, which really just makes me feel more frantic when the kids come home and Kamel and I are reduced to yelling “WHAT?!” back and forth at each other between rooms over the whirring noise, which is, in fact, better than the fire alarm going off.

And then Gabriel has feelings and needs to be held, but I can’t hold him and stir the thing I need to stir or open the oven door to check that the cauliflower doesn’t burn or do anything really at all. But I hold him anyway.

And the fan is still going and Fae needs a diaper change and Kamel has to pee so he leaves the room and I still need to put Fae’s baby food into the tiny silicone ice cube tray so that I can clear the food processor off the counter.

Gabe refuses to sit in his chair and when I do finally get him to stop clinging to me he tries to grab a pot off the stove because he desperately wants to see. So, you know, I have to use my stern voice because we, “Never, EVER touch things on the stove, Gabriel. And when I say stop you need to STOP, do you understand me?” Which means he no longer wants dinner because he is sad and is making his sad face and has decided to go stand by the window and, “Go away, mama. Go AWAY.” Which is also my voice and my words coming out of that tiny man body, so I can’t even be mad, I’m just sad. And too warm from being in the kitchen and the fan is still buzzing and now half the food I made will go uneaten.

For the last 40 minutes Fae has been happily attempting to eat and gag on and eat again tiny star snacks. Sometimes when things are extra crazy I forget she is there and then I have this moment that catches in my throat of, “Shit, the baby.” Like what if she had choked on a rogue plastic frog/lizard/crocodile of Gabe’s? It’s not impossible. But instead, she’s just there in her highchair. She has a star snack stuck under her chin and she is grinning at me. Thank you for giving me this child. Thank you a million times over it wasn’t any other child, but this one.

Between all of this, Kamel and I are discussing Target. We need more diapers for daycare, but we don’t have time to go tomorrow evening, and do we think they have enough for one more day, why don’t they tell us with a little more advance notice? Do we have any here we could give them? No, we are almost out too. This conversation is interrupted 50 times because “Uppy” and “wait, the baby needs her bottle” and “where’s the strainer, I need to strainer,” and “what?! I can’t hear you over this stupid fan!”

Sometimes I feel like I don’t have my head above water at all. There is no “just above” there is only sink or swim. Even when I can’t breath I have to swim. Even when all there is is a rushing in my ears and a baby on my back and a toddler on my ankle and my hands are full, I must swim. Sometimes there is only swimming with absolutely no view of landfall. Sometimes I just have to trust that at some point I’ll get there and that I’ll know it when I find it.

Diversity in Children’s Books

A few weeks ago I was guest appearing on Otterly Rad, a parenting podcast. The topic was about diversity in children’s books. What do our children’s book libraries look like? What has our experience been trying to create diversity for our kids? And then, how do we create more diversity in kid lit in our communities? DID YOU KNOW that you can just…. make suggestions to libraries? And they will probably, most likely, actually hear you and follow through? MIND BLOWN.

I was also really inspired by Hayley’s book break down. Taking a look at the media we are consuming and “feeding” to our kids is always a good thing.

You can listen to the entire episode here. 

To accompany this conversation I wanted to post some of Gabe’s favorite books that are bilingual and/or highlight latino/latina culture.

The first book I have read over and over again is Cuckoo/CuCu by Lois Ehlert.

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How crazy beautiful is this book? I love that it is both in english and spanish. I love that it is a traditional story and I love the art. I think I read this book on repeat for at least 3 weeks straight until I … hid it under the bed just to take a break. Ha!

Second book on my list is Nino Wrestles the World by Yuyi Morales.

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This book is so fun and ridiculous and Gabe loves loves loves it. I also got this book at an amazing independent book store in Minneapolis! (Margaret! Remind me of the name in comments!)

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This story mixes cultural myths/pretend play/spanish and I love it. Reading it is goofy. Lots of sound effects and ridiculousness.

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This book is just FUN and shouldn’t reading with your kids be super extra special sound effect, play time, FUN? I think yes.

The third book on my favorites list is Green is a Chile Pepper by Roseanne Greenfield Thong.

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Another book I got in Minnesota because I asked the independent book sellers about their spanish book section. Talking to people is key. If you just go to Barnes and Noble, you’ll only get a bunch of classic books in spanish, but nothing with real diversity.

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My only critique of this book is there isn’t more spanish. So when I’m reading it I do all the spanish I can and for sure I say all of the colors in spanish every time. Gabe, thankfully, doesn’t at all know the difference.

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And how crazy are these illustrations?? So crazy! So beautiful! So perfect!

And finally! For littles, this book is my favorite. De quien es esta cola? is super cute and when gabe was 1-2 he loved this book. I made up a little song for it and he would just love it when he got to flip the page back and when I asked him to find the animals in spanish. It’s great.

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So what are you reading your kids? What does your kid-book diversity look like? Check out Otterly Rad and join the conversation! 

“Daddy Poops, Mama Poops, Dinosaurs Poop…”

Potty training was something I had been strategizing and thinking about for a long time. Ever since Gabriel turned 2 it has been on my radar. For those who see potty training on the horizon or who are looking for some comfort in others who have just exited the trenches, I hope this post reassures you.

We started potty training by introducing the baby potty early on. This doesn’t work for everyone, but I think it depends on your kid’s temperament. It takes Gabriel a little while to get comfortable with things. I wanted sitting on the potty and having his potty in the bathroom to be something that was just part of the house, part of his routine, and I wanted that set up before we doubled down on actual potty training. Transitioning with the new baby made the process slower than I think it would have otherwise, but in the end I really think it worked out just great.

So how did we do it? What did we do? Well, after we introduced the potty we were aided with a daycare that also casually began potty training. They sat Gabriel on the potty a few times a day, got him used to making pee come out, got him used to flushing, got him used to the routine of washing his hands, etc. For a long time Gabe couldn’t pull down or pull up his pants. That is something that comes with time and practice. So this slow approach was also about learning. When Gabe was 2.5 he was transitioned into a pre-preschool class where they really focus on potty training. Because we don’t have a house with a backyard, because we rent, because we both work (and we had the new baby in this case), I didn’t feel comfortable keeping Gabriel home for an extended period of time to potty train him. And though he loves streaking through the house naked, he had shown discomfort on being naked when he had to go potty, so keeping him without pants just wasn’t going to work for us.

I had originally wanted to potty train him in October while Kamel was on paternity leave, but because he reverted a bit with the classroom change, we ended up starting the process over Thanksgiving break. This gave us 4 days at home together, 90% of the time focused on potty-ing. We prepped him by explaining that diapers were on their way out a few days before, and we showed him the underpants he had previously picked out. And then on Thanksgiving morning we changed him out of his diaper and put him in underpants. Then we set an alarm on our phones to go off every hour for potty time. We made it fun where the alarm would surprise us all and it would be “What’s the Gabriel? What is that noise?” and he would say, “It’s…. POTTY TIME!” and then we would run in and he would sit down and try to pee. This went super well and in this process we didn’t have any accidents, but Gabriel wasn’t yet 100% understanding WHEN he had to go, we were fabricating the potty training because we were taking him every hour on the hour. During this time we still kept him in diapers for nap and for nighttime. He would sometimes strategically poop in his diaper, or go a day or two without pooping. Pooping for Gabriel took a while longer to be comfortable with than peeing did.

On Monday we sent him to daycare in just underpants and 3 changes of clothes. We let his teachers know and they knew how to be on the look out for his signals and to be diligent at taking him every hour. For the first week of school in just underpants (except for nap time) he had 1-2 accidents a day until Friday, when he had 0. Sometimes he would poop in his pants. I told them to just throw away the underpants when that happened. We had bought many replacements. Sometimes he would accidentally pee on his pants when he was sitting on the potty. Penises are wily. And sometimes he would not recognize he had to go, or refuse to go when the teacher would take him to the potty and then pee his pants later on.  But! The entire week he had dry diapers during nap time. I did more laundry during this time than any other time in my life.

By week 2 the pooping struggle had become real. Gabe was uncomfortable pooping. He would fight it, not wanting to go, he’d pace around the apartment and complain of stomach aches a lot. Gabe didn’t want to sit down to go and holding it in too much made it hurt. Kamel had to hold Gabriel over the potty while he sort of hovered and often cried. It was stressful. I opted out of this. Because he was constipating himself so effectively we called the doctor to get some advice after it had been 2 days of no BM. This is really common, so for any parents out there dealing with this, know this: Going more than 1 day for toddlers is not normal and can cause injury, so if it has been 2 days with no poop make sure you call your doctor and get some advice. I am not telling anyone to necessarily do what we did before talking to your doctor, as a small blog disclaimer. This is just a recount of the realities of potty training and what worked for us.

So after the two days without poop (and we were headed into our third) they gave us the go-ahead to put about a half dose of Miralax into his water. It’s completely tasteless and just makes it easier to go, doesn’t necessarily force him to go. The problem with that is, you have to get them to drink the majority of the water in one sitting, which is nearly impossible to do with a toddler. Thankfully Gabe becomes obsessed with drinking water before bed, so I spiked his drink at a strategic time and he drank enough of it during a short period of time to make me feel like it was going to be better than nothing. We also got him on a high(er) fiber diet. Graham crackers, apple sauce, dehydrated fruit snacks from trader joes which Gabe freaking LOVES. We call them “berry snacks” in our house. The blueberry and the strawberry are his favorite. I also started giving him little 4 ounce sippy cups of half prune juice and half apple juice.

This poop offensive turned things around almost right away. Suddenly it didn’t hurt him to go, suddenly he had to go more frequently, and by the third week at school he was 1) recognizing the need to pee and poop on his own, 2) telling his teacher he needed to go potty, and 3) no longer wearing diapers during nap time. By the fourth week of underpants only, accidents became a 1-off only and he was actually going into the bathroom by himself, on his own, and handling it all.

Other things we did to ease the poop anxiety: Chocolate. If Gabriel pooped at school he got 2 chocolates when he got home (Andees mints) and if he pooped at home successfully he got 2 chocolate right after. Because it was Kamel’s job to handle the poops in the baby potty, Gabe would come running out of the bathroom, pantsless, calling, “Mama!!! I POOOOOOPED! I get dos chocolate!!!”

Now, 2 months after that first potty training weekend intensive, the baby potty is history. Gabe can pull up and pull down his own underpants and pants, and pooping is not an issue at all. I still give him prune + apple juice about 4-5 times a week, just once a day to keep things moving. He LOVES it and asks for juice constantly. I will say – I get the expensive real prune juice in the glass jar that is pretty thick and cut it with toddler Motts apple juice with barely any sugar. I worried he wouldn’t like it, but he just sucks it straight down. Shrug!

Oh! And potty training out in the world. Also something a little complicated. Public bathrooms totally freaked Gabriel out. He had never had to use one before and he was totally paranoid by all of the sounds of the other people – washing their hands, the hand dryer, opening and closing the doors – it was a mess. So we started making it a point to take him into every public bathroom we could whenever we were out running errands. We’d go potty before we left the house and then when we’d get to Target (or the mall or a restaurant) we’d make another trip to the potty and then again when we left. Family-style restrooms are still the best as far as Gabe’s comfort, but now at least he will go in public, when at first he would completely refuse and try to hold it until we got home. Not good.

Since the point where I considered him fully potty trained he has only had maybe 3 or 4 accidents while at home – always pee, never poop.

Overall, even though it took a lot of mental energy to walk him through the process, and a little bit of stress trying to figure out how to get him comfortable with it all, it really wasn’t as hard as I thought it was. Once your kid is ready you will know. And then it all pretty much sorts itself out. You’re there to be a support and a firm potty teacher. But, basically they teach themselves. Be consistent and don’t put them in situations where they will be physically or mentally uncomfortable as much as possible, especially in the beginning. If your kid doesn’t want to be naked, don’t force them to be naked. We also had a rule that if Gabe ever asked for his diaper in order to poop, we’d let him have it. I was not going to make going on the potty world war 3. I also did not want him to feel like he didn’t have control over his own body. We did force him to sit on the potty one time and I hated it and Kamel and I decided never to do it again. We can say “it’s time to go potty, now,” but Gabriel really really doesn’t want to go, then so be it. He will either tell us he needs to go in a little while, or he’ll have an accident. Or we won’t leave the house until he does. Those are both natural consequence, but they don’t take away his physical autonomy about something that’s so personal.

Ok, I think that’s pretty much it. If anything was unclear or if you have any questions, leave me a comment. There is a possibility I may have forgotten something or didn’t explain something well enough.

Potties for everyone!

Elsewhere – Otterly Rad

If you are getting a kick out of the podcasting existence of BIRL, you have even more to listen to this morning! I was very lucky to be a guest on Otterly Rad, a parenting podcast. On this episode Hayley, Nathan and I discuss colors and how to navigate the gendered expectations of having boy or girl children… which just happens to be how it mostly works out.

Happy Friday!

Pump Pump, Get it Get it

Breastfeeding is coming to an end for us… forever. So weird.

No more babies? <insert face of panic here>

No more pregnancy? Sore nipples? Expando body? Decreased time? And increased obligation to others? <insert sigh of relief here>

This time around was better than with Gabe. It was fine with Gabe, I think I made it to 4 months before supplementing and close to 5? before drying up completely? I wasn’t sure what the problem was. I didn’t have any supply issues before going back to work, so I figured it was a lackluster pump. Maybe not enough time at home establishing a good supply? Maybe it was because I only had time to pump twice a day at work instead of three times

Well this time I had 4 months at home exclusively breastfeeding before shipping Fae off to daycare. And this time I have a very very sucky pump. Sucky in a good way. Super suction with a dial I can CRANK UP. And do. Often. I am at home and pump FOUR times a day. But… if I hadn’t had as big of a freezer storage as I had, I would already need to supplement. In the first few weeks everything was fine. I pumped plenty and sometimes she would leave a bottle untouched and I would carry it over to the next day. But as show grows, she get’s hungrier. I can pump 16 oz a day on average. Sometimes 18. But sometimes only 12. And on the low days Fae needs another 3-4 ounces. She needs another pump, but if I also need to be able to nurse her when she gets home, that’s the best I can do. Otherwise, she’ll be hungry before bed. Blech.

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So pumping and me? We just don’t get along. I have absolutely no issues when it’s just nursing. But when I add in a mechanical contraption… slowly, over a not-so-long period of time, my supply drops and drops and drops.

On top of that, pumping SUCKS. I am trapped to my machine! If I am not in a place to pump, I am for sure dipping into my freezer storage, with no ability to replenish.

So for the stress and the time commitment, I am so excited to be done. But for the end of this cuddly baby era, the falling asleep on my chest, the magic of being able to sustain another human with my own body (and it is so bizarre, truly), I’m sad. I know that once weaning is done I will have a new level of freedom and Fae will still be fed and all will be well… but for now, womp.

Formula and starting solids is just around the corner. I will have made it to exclusively breast feeding until 6 months. This was 100% about my own personal “See if I can actually do it this time around” game. Feeding your child is always the most important part of this, no matter how you go about it.

So long pumping. You mean mean necessity. So long breastfeeding. On to high chairs and making my own baby food and and… growing up.

The First Kid, Remember Him?

There is always so much hubub with a new baby. The new! It is new! So many firsts, so much to report on and explore! But all along things have been happening with the first born. We brought Fae home from the hospital and it was as if Gabe had grown 3 inches overnight. He went from two year old toddler to almost-a-kid over the summer. We’ve been living with that almost-practically-basically-a-kid ever since.

And at first I think we were all kind of shell-shocked about have another human in the house. We were all in survival mode. then, after a few weeks, once Gabe realized that the baby who was cute… but also taking up a lot of mental energy (not to mention the physical space of his parent’s arms) wasn’t actually going to leave, things changed a little bit. Aside from maybe 2 instances where Gabe was frustrated that his little sister existed in the same space he is in, his transitional jealousy has never been directed at her. And he wasn’t really ever mad at us about bringing an invader into his baby-realm. He just got super super needy.

Neediness on a capable 36 pound toddler-child-hybrid while you have an absolutely, completely helpless newborn to lug around is… the… fucking… worst. Suddenly, the kid who could barely stand a stroller, who wanted to fling himself down stairs and not walk, but run as much as possible… suddenly that kid wanted to be carried everywhere. Suddenly Mr. Thrill Seeker was afraid of everything. Zoo trips became marathons of Kamel and I taking turns carrying king potato sack around. Any little thing that went wrong in his weird OCD toddler brain meant he was suddenly glued to us. And I mean, frantic clinging glue. Too windy at the playground? “UPPY UPPY UPPPPPPPPPPPPPY” while clawing at my legs. That always looks good on a parent. The panicked child trying to climb their parent’s pant leg because of wind while all the other children play like nothing is wrong. Yay!

The worst was having to very literally drag him out of a restaurant as he threw a massive tantrum because we very literally could not pick him up right at that second. We had a stroller to carry out (too crowded to unfold and wheel), and a carseat with a sleeping baby in it to lug out. Plus two diapers bags. There were no hands and most certainly not enough strength to also carry Gabriel. Who was refusing to walk. At peak dinner time. On a Friday. So I mom-ed hard. I mom-ed real hard. I did the upper arm grab-and-drag and when we got to the car I did the squat down and get really close to his face hiss-whisper, “That was NOT OK. You are in BIG TROUBLE.”

This sounds like maybe we aren’t totally sympathetic, but we are. We tried our hardest to keep Gabriel’s routines in tact. We made sure to give him as much attention as possible after school, to make sure he had one-on-one time with both of us at bed time. We kept encouraging him to try new things, despite his apparent terror at everything. We picked him up when he needed us to pick him up and when we had arms. We didn’t always have arms. Parents of new humans sometimes just don’t have any arms.

I really didn’t know what the hell was going on during the peak of this behavior. I figured it was control. I figured it was being two. I figured it would hopefully, please god, get better by three. And then one day it just stopped. Being held just stopped. Wearing a hood or a hat makes the wind less freaky in his ears when he plays outside in the winter. At the zoo he is back to running half a block ahead of us and asking for uppy only so he can get a better look at the lions. He prefers the stairs to the elevators. And when he hears Fae crying he mostly has to stop what he’s doing and “go find his Fae.” It only took a little over 5 months of transition. Almost half a year of phase. Of crappy wtf phase. And now its better.

During that time Gabe has also transitioned to a toddler bed and is 99% potty trained! He goes to the bathroom by himself to pee! And only wears a diaper at night! No accidents at school! It’s fantastic. The road to potty training is another story. A story that is both so stressful and so shockingly easy. Being the caretakers of small people is so weird. Hopefully if my intention remains to create independent, non-fucked-up grownups we will all turn out ok in the end.

My Current 10

1.) Trump is a racist and anyone who supports him is also a racist. There is no middle ground or “I can see where you’re coming from” with this one.

2.) More people need to be focused and open to helping others. If we had space for people I would absolutely open my home to host refugees. When I see someone on the street who needs help (passed out in a crosswalk, an older person taking a tumble, whatever it may be), I pull over, I stop the car, I don’t ignore it. Pointing fingers is point-less. All of those people who think Syrian refugees should just figure it out, who don’t want to deal with their problem: may you never experience the feeling of running for your lives. May you never experience a government who actively kills its own citizens. May you never experience refugee camps where your child sleeps in the grass every night. Because if you do experience that, may you also be met with the same attitude you are placing upon others.

3.) I don’t care if I’m a bleeding heart. I want the world to be gentler and kinder. Just because it was hard for someone before me doesn’t mean it needs to be hard for someone after me. I don’t care about “earning” whatever it is that other people feel we need to “earn.” I just don’t care. Everyone should have a safe home, should have healthcare, should be able to send their kids to quality schools. But I do believe in paying taxes, chipping in, supporting local communities and local businesses. Voting with my dollar.

4.) The pyramids were built as tombs, they were NOT to house grain!

5.) The atrocities the Native Americans experienced at the hands of the United States have not been taught widely enough. They should be common knowledge and we should not be celebrating Christopher Columbus. It’s like having “conqueror day” … it’s weird.

6.) But you know, yay being thankful, yay the holidays, yay family time and traditions. Those are positives.

7.) Does anyone actually go Christmas shopping IN stores anymore? It’s like my worst case scenario. Thank you weekend deals that are also online so that I don’t have to think about hunting down presents in person.

8.) I have so many things to say about being approached as a “mom” about money and employment, but at this time it is inappropriate to do so. Ask me in person.

9.) Sometimes I have parenting days where I feel like an absolute fucking failure. Lately I am just bone tired. I am battling a cold, Fae has a cold, she is waking up every 2 hours at night which means I can’t sleep to kick this cold. Gabriel is so difficult. I feel like a hostage negotiator more than I am a happy parent. I am an exhausted, frustrated parent.

10.) I’m so tired of wearing nursing tank tops. I need bras!! But… $$. Always but $$.

 

Do you have a Current 10? Do you have a current 5? I want in on that.

Things, November

Having Kamel home on paternity leave has been so nice. It has also been a lesson in the differences between “men out in the world with babies” and “women out in the world with babies.”

Exhibit 1: Kamel is in the grocery store. Checker is googly eyes mad-crazy at Fae. She then says “Stay at home dads are my weakness!” to Kamel. He replies, “Oh, I’m just on leave.” She says, “That’s like a whole MOVEMENT right now!”

I am at the grocery store with Fae. The most I get is “How old is he?” “Oh she’s ______ months.” And then I struggle to open the door and pull the stroller through while also carrying groceries by myself.

Exhibit 2: Kamel posts a photo of himself holding Fae while playing video games. Comments include heart eye emojis and “What an attentive dad!”

Exhibit 3: (This is with Gabriel and not during Kamel’s current leave, for the record) While changing Gabe’s diaper in a men’s room at a car dealership with no changing station, “I’m really sorry there are no changing stations in here. You’re doing a great job, man. I’ve got 6 kids at home. Keep it up.”

Me nursing Fae at the Zoo while it is pouring down rain. I am sitting off to the side, not blocking anything, minding my own business while Gabe and Kamel run around an exhibit. The sign on the door said, “Please no strollers because of crowds” and there was maybe 3 other people in the exhibit.

“Um excuse me, you can’t have your stroller inside any of the buildings.”

“Oh, yeah… I just have this one in the car seat.” (THE ONE ATTACHED TO MY NIPPLE)

“Yeah, everyone does. No strollers allowed in any of the buildings.”

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… Not impressed, Zoo. Not impressed.

Winter is so dark. How is it possible that I keep forgetting this? Thankfully it comes on the heels of twinkle lights and social events and cozy clothing and hot tea! My god, the hot tea. A cup of tea can just CHANGE a person, amIright? Other positive winter feels include: indoor open swim for Gabriel and Kamel, slippers, Christmas lists, secret santas, not sweating, winter ale, and those crisp sunny days.

Earlier this month I saw Gloria Steinem in conversation with Cheryl Strayed and I cried 4 times during the discussion. The biggest sob fest was when an older Asian woman came up to the microphone and thanked Gloria Steinem for being such a good friend to her and for coming into her garden on Whidbey Island and for breaking her isolation due to her language barrier. Water works for days. Things I learned from the discussion:

  • When the media freaks out about young women claiming they don’t need feminism, it’s kind of a joke. A 20 year old posting a sign on twitter does not take into account the millions of women who are 30+ actively living and preaching feminism in their daily life. It is a reminder that the world views women’s contributions as being only as good as their young, ripe bodies. The voice of feminism does not end at 29, does not end at menopause! Women get more radical with age.
  • Feminism is all encompassing. It includes gay rights, all civil rights, all equalities. Feminism is for everyone. People of color have always been at the forefront.
  • At times it feels like we are slipping backwards, but these conversations weren’t even happening 70 years ago. Do not despair.
  • The most important freedom is the freedom over our own bodies and our own reproductive rights. The choice of when and where and if to have children is a basic human right. It is a domino effect of all freedom.
  • (This I did not fully realize until this conversation) Women are still not equal under the law in the United States because the Equal Rights Amendment has not yet been ratified. We are, literally, legally not equal at this time. If you think this doesn’t actually mean anything, the supreme court rules on the actual law, not the assumed law and as major cases about women’s health come to pass, it does count that the constitution does not say “All men and women are created equal.”

Fae goes to daycare in a few weeks. I’ve been sad about it all month. I’ve gotten accustomed to her. And I don’t want to be away from her. I’ll get over it. Daycare is good for her and me. But… my baby!! I want to snuggle her and see her crinkle nose smile every day, all day. The world is full of a million contradictory things I want all at the same time and cannot have.

Children in Tragedies

Explaining the bad things about the world to my children is something I grit my teeth over. Who wants to tell their children that the world is ACTUALLY dangerous and scary? It is amazing and magical, but it is also pretty terrible. Thankfully I haven’t had to do it yet.

This dad, though… does a pretty fantastic, age appropriate job. Something we can all cling to.