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Marriage

Nobody Else But You

Last week (and like three posts down because oh the state of this blog and the state of my no time at all for anything) I had a podcast about house hunting. Buying home right now in Seattle is a bear. And that is the kindest way I can put it.

It is so much work, it is so much time, it is so much stress. And with our already very full plates, it adds stress to a pretty thick stress-sandwich. In the podcast I talked about how Kamel and I have a different approaches to the process, how we have different take aways from the experience. Sometimes it has caused tension. His interpretation is different than mine. He is this thing called “a different person” than I am. And I have to take his needs, wants, desires, expectations into “consideration” because we are “married” and “sharing a life together.” How inconvenient.

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Last weekend we were on one of our many many (many many) house view expeditions. We have spent so much gas driving from neighborhood to neighborhood not liking homes, let me tell you. My approach to house hunting is serious. This is serious business. It is strategy and trying to be the first to jump on opportunities. It is trying to look into the magic 8 ball that lives in my head and see how our family’s lifestyle will grow and change and adapt to whatever house set up we buy. It’s a lot of mental energy for me trying not to fuck this up. And last weekend Kamel and I were driving to a house and we were chatting about our expectations and Kamel said, “I’m so happy I get to do this with you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anybody else.”

Aw, thanks Kamel. Same! (I said.)

But, like, what else do you say to that? It was true, but it was also just a response.

And overall, it was a disappointing day. I was hoping to leave that day with the rush of wanting to put an offer on a house, but instead we went home going back and forth on, “Did we like it? No? We’re sure? We’re sure. Ugh.” But you know what? I am so grateful for Kamel’s positivity. I am so grateful for his ability to make fun of his complete inability to remember how to pronounce different neighborhoods around Seattle, his ability to poke fun at his own excitement, his ability to poke fun at my ever present terror bubbling just at the surface of my being. He makes me a better person and he takes care of me without even trying, he does it by just being him.

Marriage is dumb in so many ways. The constant compromising and the co-everything and the sharing (my god the sharing). But I wouldn’t want to do it with anybody else but him. And thank god I am sharing this experience with Kamel. I probably would rent forever if I didn’t have my buddy.

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Flashback Friday: Bo Belly

By popular demand, (ok, one very clever person asked) I am showcasing the pre Lauren Kamel per the discussion in this week’s podcast. Think of this as a giant Flashback Friday. And for the record, I loved him even when he was a dorkasaurus rex. Big jeans and free tshirts to boot. (I asked him if this was like… a borrowed coat or something and he said “No! I loved that coat! I thought I looked so cool! …. I didn’t realize I looked like a sofa!” hahahaha) Just in case anyone is concerned I’m being mean, Kamel picked all of these photos out. When I told him that this was what I wanted to do for the...

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Episode 12: Is That What You’re Wearing?

To be totally honest, I am usually super, super nervous to start a podcast. I have recording stage fright every single time. I really have to psyche myself up, and Kamel can attest that sometimes I will cancel a recording session because I just can’t wrap my brain around it. But this time! This time I was so excited to sit down with the mic and Kamel and get down to chatty relationship business! This episode is all about what happens when your partner looks schleppy. When is it ok to address that? How do you go about it? I know that in my own relationship, I have spent a lot of energy coaxing Kamel out of his deep dark clothing hole of...

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A Year of Dates: February

Yesterday Kamel and I dropped the kids off at daycare and went up to the mountains to intertube in the snow! Going to the snow is something Kamel has wanted to do for months! And he had never gone intertubing! He was worried he would need a helmet. I explained that tiny children do this activity. He was not totally convinced. This was such an amazing date morning because it reminded me of our lives before we had kids, when we would do things we hadn’t done before. Things that maybe were a little scary. Like when we did rock climbing class! Or go explore a different part of the Bay Area. Being the people we were post kids is very...

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January Date Night

Kamel and I are having a year of dates. One of his new year goals was to go on a date every month. I love this idea because I honestly don’t remember the last time Kamel legit planned a date for the two of us from start to finish all on his own. I mean, to be fair, I am excitable and have a tendency to take over on things I find fun…. but also Kamel like… seriously, to a fault, never plans dates. Not even this first one – which was my fault. But is there ever really “fault” when one is actively doing something awesome for the relationship? No, I think not. For this first date we went classic: dinner out...

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Episode 3: Cheaters

Welcome to the first official episode about relationships with guest contributor, Kamel. He also happens to be my husband. This week we are talking about cheating! Specifically: Can someone actually go a solid amount of time without knowing that they are being cheated on? Can that actually happen? Let me know what you think and who you agree with more by using the hashtags #teamLauren or #teamKamel. http://media.blubrry.com/betterinrealife/p/betterinrealife.com/audio/BiRL_episode_003.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | DownloadSubscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS

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Who the hell is she?


Lauren

Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.


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