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The Perks

A few days ago I was secretly eating one of the chocolate bunnies that Kamel’s family  brings back for us from Mexico. And by us I think I really mean Kamel. I mean, I’m sure it is ok if I eat them too, but we all know that Kamel loves them the most most most.


And then I thought about how sometimes the benefits of marriage are that I get the perk of being able to eat my husband’s special dessert when he isn’t looking. I mean, I could always have my own chocolate small furry animal, but I wouldn’t have known tiny chocolate mexican bunnies even existed if it weren’t for Kamel.

It occured to me that these perks probably happen a lot. And let’s be honest, I guess if I’m going to get all of his annoying habits all up in my grill on the daily, I should also be taking advantage of the good stuff, the parts where he says, “the vast majority of me is mad about you” before kissing my head after I tell him how mostly I want to slowly choke him, or the part where he takes out the garbage at least like 40% of the time without whining (but, you know, I take out the garbage 0% of the time so weeeeeee!), or the part where I get to sneak chocolate bunnies. Priorities.

So while I was slowly demolishing Kamel’s second to last treat, I also remembered that I am for realies married to Kamel. How mind blowing is that? Like this, right here, this is forever, and it is awesome and he is the guy. I found him. He is so nice! And he is really funny! And he loves me a lot! And we are a really excellent team. He is such a great dad and I am probably super incredibly lucky.

Like last weekend we were in this giant war with fruit flies. They had quite suddenly and very randomly appeared and taken over our bathrooms and kitchen. No fruit was out! Why were they here!? There were tons of them, and we did not hesitate to go to war friends. WAR!  It was like 300 up in here – we were greatly out numbered. But! Kamel was the swinger of swords in the form of many paper towels and together we were a fruit fly smooshing force! Itt was kind of beautiful, the both of us, shut up in our bathroom together, me the spotter and him the smoosher. At one point I turned to him and said, “I am so happy that I get to vanquish fruit flies with you. It wouldn’t be fine with anyone else.” True. Love.

And I am for realies married to that. The guy who is kung-foo-ing tiny evil red-eyed bugs out of thin air, and who is mostly completely mad about me. Which – who even says that? Dork-asaurus-Rex. Swoon.

I spend a lot of time just doin’ my thing, getting through the day, putting out fires and trying to find time for all the things, bambambam. How often do I actually stop and think for a second: Oh my gosh, I’m married! (Hello, 17 year old me, THAT HAPPENED.) And my husband is super fun! And he really really really REALLY loves me. And! He comes with some pretty epic benefits, like chocolate bunnies just sitting in my cabinet. Imagine that.


What and Where is the Worth?

So much is written here and other places about the struggle of marriage. Sharing your life with someone – all of your life with them – is rough at times. It takes a lot of effort and thought, a lot of patience and kindness. But! it is also fantastic and absolutely worth all of the annoying, frustrating, tough times (if you’re in a good one). After I wrote the post on marriage not being the end zone, I received some comments abut how hard marriage seemed and how it doesn’t seem all that great from the outside. I think that happens because so much of what is talked about in mainstream society puts marriage as the happy...


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Marriage Is Not The End Zone

Yesterday’s post, though honest and fraught with the reality of my swollen hot feet and sweaty knee-pits, bothered me all day. I kept thinking about how it wasn’t the post I should have written. How the lightening storm was great, but it was actually a small piece to a larger puzzle. I thought all day and even into my happy hour with Claire about how to say what I want to say, but I am still coming up blank. Since we’ve moved to Seattle things have been good, I have been happy, we have so many opportunities here, we have a much better quality of life, there are a thousand and one excellent things about our world right...


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Year 3: Leather

People watching at fancy hotels is the best. Such a strange group of people. You realize that money doesn’t make you pretty and that humans are just humans, bathing suits and bellies and bottoms and tan lines and burn lines and hairy backs. And we all just want to get some sunshine, order a beer, and go for a swim. “Oh man! Look at that guy!” Kamel said, “He’s roasting! He looks like he’s smoked a thousand cigars. He looks like, he looks like…” The first thing that came to mind was the word “Tanning” …. but I didn’t mean it in the “lay out in the sun and get a...


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This weekend was one for the books! Staycation, celebrating our 5 years of knowing each other, and our first night away from Gabe! Last year for our anniversary we went to Target after work, got stuck in traffic, and then ate take out at 7:30 at night while the baby cried. This year we decided to treat ourselves and spent 2 nights at the Four Seasons Seattle. The weather just happened to hit 90 degrees on Saturday. It was at July anniversary miracle. The Four Seasons were kind enough to supply us with a real crib, complete with bumpers and sheets and a quilt. Plus all the Johnson and Johnson baby products you could ever wish for AND a...


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5 Years of Knowing

When I was pregnant with Gabe, Kamel and I would go on lots of walks. Frequently we would ask each other, “5 years ago could you believe this would happen? That you would be living here, married, and about to have a baby?” We would always say, “no way! no how! I wouldn’t have believed it even if future me came back and told me it would happen!” Five years. (A photo from July 12th, 2009) It’s not so long. Not as long as I have known my best friends. Only a fraction of how long my parents have been together. But 5 years of knowing, somehow it feels solid. Not so solid (but what is solid? 10? 30?), but it...


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Who the hell is she?


I am a writer living in Seattle and I believe that life is a grand adventure and only boring if you believe it to be. Plus! You don't need money to have fun.

I live with my husband, a photographer by education and a maker-of-video-games by trade, and a baby named gabe in an apartment on the hill.

I am romantic about most things and I cry... about almost anything. I tell stories to entertain you, I spread stories to keep you in the loop. I am not a grammar freak, but I do know how to spell it. I am exceedingly proud of my scrambled eggs and I really could eat an entire pan of cupcakes. If I met me, I would be my best friend. I tend to be irreverent.

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.