Episode 30: No Trade-Backs

Today is a call to action!! We are talking about household responsibilities and Kamel’s constant wish that we could switch it up and my constant reply of “No.”

But now we really want to hear from you. How do you break up the house work? Is it a space of tension or is it seamless? Do you feel like you do more or less or equal? Does your partner bitch about it? Let me into your world! And share it with the rest of us.

Also if you have opnions on how Kamel doesn’t want to do the kitchen anymore and I won’t let him quit, feel free to share on that as well!

Voicemails are needed by December 16th. 

The number to call is: 415 275 0551

4 thoughts on “Episode 30: No Trade-Backs”

  1. Can’t call, so here’s ours…

    Most of our domestic responsibilities breakdown into turn-taking rather than specific jobs. For cooking and putting the kid to bed we have a roster, which we adjust each semester depending on who has to regularly work late on specific nights, swimming lessons and other activities. Mostly it works out that I do 4/7 nights. For the dishes, we take turns – and it’s your turn until all the dishes are done/dishwasher’s loaded and on. This of course means, the kitchen is often a filthy mess as it takes Lovely Husband several days to get around to doing it. But there’s no way I’m doing it all the time.

    The other jobs have mostly come down to habit or practicality – I do all the laundry because I work from home and can get stuff on and off the line depending on the weather; Lovely Husband does the bathroom mostly because he doesn’t have the same regime for hair and legs that I do; I vacuum; he washes the floors.

    None of us make the beds – I think we mutually decided ages ago that it wasn’t something we particularly cared about.

    1. I haven’t listened to the episode yet but I look forward to it since it’s something that’s been on my mind lately. But your comment made me think of something along those same lines about timing: Sometimes my fiancé will say he’s going to do the dishes, even insist upon it, so I respond “Awesome. Go for it. Thanks.” But then 24+ hours later, they’re still not done. At which point, I sometimes just suck it up and do them because the utility of him doing them has gone down so much, with the sink fuller and all the dishes still sitting there taking up space… So that’s another challenge of chore duties, beyond just doing them: when are they getting done?

  2. Hee hee… I was hanging up laundry while listening to this (a chore we share, although we both think we do it more than the other person does). Our main breakdown is 1) cat care – I do input, he does output; 2) I do dusting/vaccuuming, he does bathroom; 3) whomever didn’t cook cleans up from dinner. However, we don’t have a system for who deals with the ongoing dishes not from dinner. We both sort of do it when we have time or when the other one complains. Though I tend to be the one starting the dishwasher. 🙂 These chores were decided on a few years ago, but for the first half of our relationship we kind of struggled with who does what.

    I think it’s amazing that you think the kitchen is grosser than the bathroom. Kitchen forever, right here.

    One of the big things is that I am a keep it tidy-ish (Rinsing! Yay rinsing) as I go, type, and he is a deep clean more rarely/less frequently type. We each drive each other crazy a little bit with not being as thorough (me) and not being as consistent (him). Generally we just try to live and let live though.

    Also, we totally fight sometimes. Way less now than we used to, since we’ve learned when the other person is getting riled up how to de-escalate. But yeah, yelling is part of marriage, no?

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