For your birthday here are 33 things – the endearing, the fantastic, the annoying (annoying with love, of course!) that make you Kamel. My partner, my buddy, the biggest pain in my rear, my biggest cheerleader.
1.) Your poofy microphone hair.
2.) Your jokes. And how I hear the same ones a million times a day and yet – and yet! AND YET they still delight you with just as much gusto as the first time.
3.) How much you love FOOD. Because oh man, it is a LIFE JOY FOOD IS. And what would I do with someone who didn’t love food? Oh could you imagine? No.
4.) Speaking of food – how you declare you don’t like something. Like broccoli or peanuts or any nut or bell peppers. And then I force it upon you and it becomes your FAVORITE THING EVER. You are not a reliable narrator, Kamel.
5.) Speaking of reliable narrators…. How you think you know something with such confidence, to the point where I believe you and tell all of my coworkers and then it turns out that you didn’t quite read that correctly, or didn’t quite know and just thought you knew…. classic Kamely moment = me having to go back and tell people I was wrong because of your misinformation. You’d think I’d have learned 6 years down the road, but no… sigh. I just keep on believing you.
6.) “This place is filled with cheesecakes.”
“You know… look at all of the cheesecakes… like that guy over there, and that guy.”
“…. you mean BEEF cakes?”
“That’s what it is? But they are so CHEESY!”
7.) “I’m as hungry as a bull in a china closet.”
“I don’t think that’s how it goes…”
“Yeah because he opens up the closet looking for food and it’s just CHINA and gets mad so he RAGES AGAINST THE CHINA.”
8.) “Let’s burn that bridge when we cross it.”
9.) “Let’s kill the bird with two stones.”
“No, hun, it’s kill 2 birds with one stone.”
“What? That makes no sense. This way we really make sure it’s dead!”
10.) How hard you dad. Cuz you dad real hard.
11.) How good you look in shorts. Rawr.
12.) Your incredible patience. And how you put up with me dragging you on adventures even if you don’t always want to. Or when you know that it’s going to suck and you have a pretty good idea that I’m going to hate it but you let me gung-ho the shit out of it and then help me out of the situation when I realize I’ve made a huge mistake. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to say, “I’m sorry but I hate this and you were right.” And all you do is laugh at me and say, “oh, Lauren…”
13.) Kind of like how I thought making a list of 33 things while the baby is napping was going to be an easy feat and now I am at 13 and I have 2o more to go and omg I don’t know if you’re actually that unique. ARE YOU THAT UNIQUE? Can I be adorable for 20 more loving, and possibly annoying, Kamel items?
14.) How you call your toe nails your talons and after you cut your toe nails you pretend like you can no longer grip the floor and start sliding all over the place.
15.) How much you love mimosas.
16.) Your goofy ass ginormous full on cackle of a laugh. And how it’s so often directed at yourself.
17.) How your feet are turned out like a penguin.
18.) … And because of that you run like Quasimodo. Awwww little Quasimodo Igor run!
19.) UGH how you always, without fail, step on my FLIP FLOP when I am walking in front of you! WHY!
20.) How you never, ever ever ever ever ever put the dishes back where you found them. AND! *Related* How you never put anything back in the same spot in the fridge. It’s like Where’s Waldo whenever I’m trying to find the mustard, my god man!
21.) How you have a really hard time spending money on yourself, or treating yourself, but will randomly come home with a wireless mouse for me (that I haven’t asked for and didn’t know I needed) just because you think it would make my life easier.
22.) The way you kill ’em with kindness. Especially in business. You disarm with charm and are the nicest person I know.
23.) Until you feel fucked over as a consumer and then hold on to your butts, Comcast/random FroYo place that is charging a credit card minimum/retail store with a shady return policy – cuz Kamel has Better Business Bureau in his favorites and he is NOT afraid to use them!
24.) How it takes you 40 minutes to hang two frames on the wall, but by god our shit is square and even.
25.) How aware you are that by marrying me, you married all of us. That I’m a package deal and you respect the shit out of that.
26.) How snow is still a magical thing for you because you didn’t grow up with it.
27.) How much you love to swim and how important it is to you that our kids have a lot of water exposure. (I promise I’ll call the YMCA for swim lessons for Gabe again!)
28.) How much you fucking love boats even though I fucking hate boats.
29.) Oh! How could I forget? “That’s the icing on the gravy.”
30.) The copious amount of mugs you own, most of them probably free from work events. And how you don’t drink coffee or tea. Yet we have so many mugs they don’t all fit in the cupboards, but god forbid we get rid of any of them!
31.) How you have grown to appreciate how I play the Hoarders theme song when you get fidgety about getting rid of any of your (cough useless cough) possessions. You appreciate it, right?
32.) The fact that you do the dishes every day and take so much pride it in even though I never think they are clean enough. 0__0
33.) And number THIRTY THREE! How you will be mildly embarrassed about me putting all of these photos of you in this post, but mostly you will just think it is funny. 🙂
HAPPY 33rd Kamel!! There will be Star Wars, there will be snacks, there will be BBQ chicken sandwiches in your future. <3 I love you!