Claire Turns 30

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I feel like I have known you my whole life even though it has really only been about 15 years. But really – at what point does THAT become “my whole life”??

You were the first person I told I lost my virginity.

And you were always the first call after every break up.

The most important thing you’ve ever told me was, “Lauren, he is NOT COMING BACK,” and I hated you for it but I was so grateful for it all at the same time.

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After your computer was stolen in Africa, I bought you a (tiny tiny tiny) new one. For my college graduation you took out a credit card just so you would be able to travel all the way to Illinois and pay for stuff and help me pack up my entire room through all of the emotional upheaval that was my early 20s. I would have driven out of that apartment with clothes thrown into garbage bags if it hadn’t been for your clothes-rolling-technique and your calming presence. I owe you a million moves just for that one.


Who else is up for a long weekend in Vegas? When we are 22 and poor and should be doing other things (should be doing exactly what we were doing). Who else do I come to with at a karaoke bar at the Taj Mahal (I think?). Who else would I follow Tricia into a giant beer pong room with? Who else do I get my first tattoo with? Eat Denny’s on the strip at 4am with?

Who else agrees to a Disneyland trip. Again with no money, and no time for such things, just to give me something to look forward to after the final straw in a terrible terrible break up round robin.

Who lives with me in a 1 bedroom apartment because neither of us can afford anymore than $400 something in rent a month.

Getting locked out of your apartment in Portland and climbing through a window and breaking your landlord’s lamp.

Staying at the Sheraton and getting dressed up and camping out at The Chapel for New Years Eve.

Epic netflix marathons. Hoarders. Intervention (oh god INTERVENTION). A thousand and ten walks. A thousand and ten Walgreens runs.


And now you are THIRTY!!! And this is your decade. The decade made for Claire and I have said this for the last ten years. 20s are for the birds! 30s were made for Claire Jesse. It’s only going to get so much better from this day on. Can you EVEN IMAGINE IT? I can’t. It’s going to be that awesome.

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Happy 30th birthday Claire!!



3 thoughts on “Claire Turns 30”

  1. tears. tears. tears. this woman deserves everything. you both are my feminist idols and i love you and this!!! happy birthday CJ <3

  2. Yay!!!! This is a belated thank you for this amazing blog post (since my work computer blocks your website, because it just doesn’t KNOW)!! I love you 🙂

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