This is probably the most unfeminist post I have ever written. But feelings.
For about a month and a half I have been so uncomfortable going out in public. I don’t know what it is specifically about this pregnancy but I am unbelievably self conscious. Like yes, yes I am sore and slow, but I also want to hide under a giant sheet and scream, “Don’t look at meeeeeee!” to everyone who passes by.
It has made me wish that there was still a socially acceptable confinement period. I mean, I don’t want it to be FORCED upon me, but if I just never left my house and only wore MuMus and people would ask, “oh, where’s Lauren?” and someone else would respond, “She’s entered into her confinement,” and the response was just a nod because, totally normal! I would be down with that. So down. I would be confined currently. Not leaving the house, not expected to go anywhere or do anything or put pants on for any reason.
Why do I feel sooooo in need to not be seen? I don’t know. I feel awkward and exposed and like nothing I wear is cute or flattering. It’s hard to feel that way every day all of the time. Most of the time I can just brush it off, go to Target, hang with the family, get things done. But I really miss feeling put together and cute. That sounds so vain and dumb coming out of my mouth. Aww poor Lauren doesn’t feel cute!
Getting dressed is stressful. I need to wear something comfortable, but I also don’t want to look like a blob. And on top of it I have to find something that fits. So far I have 2 pairs of jeans and a few work out pants. I have a few maxi dresses, but I have to wear stretchy shots under them so I don’t chafe and I need a cardigan over most of them so I do not feel super self conscious about my hip flub.
I’m sure we all feel like putting on a coat and zipping it all the way up to the neck sometimes. But I am feeling like that every day! Summer isn’t helping. So puffy, so swollen, and not even done expanding yet. Confinement would be such a relief!