Entering Into My Confinement

This is probably the most unfeminist post I have ever written. But feelings.

For about a month and a half I have been so uncomfortable going out in public. I don’t know what it is specifically about this pregnancy but I am unbelievably self conscious. Like yes, yes I am sore and slow, but I also want to hide under a giant sheet and scream, “Don’t look at meeeeeee!” to everyone who passes by.

It has made me wish that there was still a socially acceptable confinement period. I mean, I don’t want it to be FORCED upon me, but if I just never left my house and only wore MuMus and people would ask, “oh, where’s Lauren?” and someone else would respond, “She’s entered into her confinement,” and the response was just a nod because, totally normal! I would be down with that. So down. I would be confined currently. Not leaving the house, not expected to go anywhere or do anything or put pants on for any reason.

Why do I feel sooooo in need to not be seen? I don’t know. I feel awkward and exposed and like nothing I wear is cute or flattering. It’s hard to feel that way every day all of the time. Most of the time I can just brush it off, go to Target, hang with the family, get things done. But I really miss feeling put together and cute. That sounds so vain and dumb coming out of my mouth. Aww poor Lauren doesn’t feel cute!

Getting dressed is stressful. I need to wear something comfortable, but I also don’t want to look like a blob. And on top of it I have to find something that fits. So far I have 2 pairs of jeans and a few work out pants. I have a few maxi dresses, but I have to wear stretchy shots under them so I don’t chafe and I need a cardigan over most of them so I do not feel super self conscious about my hip flub.

I’m sure we all feel like putting on a coat and zipping it all the way up to the neck sometimes. But I am feeling like that every day! Summer isn’t helping. So puffy, so swollen, and not even done expanding yet. Confinement would be such a relief!

10 thoughts on “Entering Into My Confinement”

  1. **fist bump**
    I stand beside you in solidarity of your solitude. Today going to the dentist I could only put on a tank top and linen maternity pants and I just kept whining “I look like I’m in pajamas!!” But I could not force myself into anything more stylish or put together.

    My main work/public outfit has been a maxi skirt and tanks but like you said I have to wear maternity leggings underneath and then multiple tank tops and a coverup or jacket of some sort to guard against chub rub and it’s hot and layered and uncomfortable.

    Isn’t this when everyone tells us we should be glowing and feeling like a sacred vessel? I just feel hot and sloppy.

  2. I was lucky enough to work from home the last two weeks of my pregnancy and that’s ALL I wanted to do. I hid so much! It doesn’t sound unfeminist to me. I wanted the convenience of my couch and my bathroom and my water faucet; to not have to wear anything uncomfortable; to not have to do anything physically uncomfortable; and MOST of all, to not have to deal with the way other people were perceiving me/their stupid comments.

    I hope you can float under the radar as much as possible! <3

  3. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! You have the luxury of being home for the final stretch – maximize that opportunity!

    I rock at being a pregnant lady, but after my first kid was born I wished more than once that we were living in China so that it would be socially acceptable for me to not go outside at all for the first month of her life. Instead, I felt like everyone around me expected me to be up and about, toting a new baby around town, when I wanted to do nothing more than to stay in my bed in an air conditioned apartment. I remember dissolving in tears because I didn’t even have my shit together enough to pack her up and take her down stairs – literally – for a new mother class when she was two weeks old.

    Pregnant ladies need to give themselves some slack. You are growing a new human. Give in to your body as much as you are able to.

  4. There is nothing about being self-conscious about your appearance in a deeply misogynistic society that makes you a bad feminist. We all have periods of feeling really exposed, pregnant or otherwise, so you take all the space you need. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way though.

  5. Ugh, I so hear you Lauren. I’m in my 7th month and I hate, hate, hate feeling like public property. Neighbours have literally pulled over in their cars while I am walking my dogs to shout things about my belly. Coworkers are making comments about me being a ‘large mama’ and ‘big belly’ and sh&t that they would never say to someone else. Also random strangers asking about my due date. I just want to be invisible. To walk around minding my own business without getting the ‘looks’.

    As for clothing, nothing fits and it’s hot out.

    Ugh…..

  6. I am 100% a fan of self confinement at will. Do it as much as you wish if that makes you feel even one iota better. I sure as heck opted to stay home and in jammies for most of the end of pregnancy.

    <3

  7. suffering from the same problem. what kind of stretchy shorts do you use under skirts? I’ve always had that problem šŸ™

      1. Awesome!! I was gonna ask you this earlier because the leggings are so hot but I felt like a crazy person haha.

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