One or the Other

Right now we are finding out if it is a boy or a girl. Right this second. I’m writing this from the past to be posted in the future. Posted on the day, on the hour, that we find out who this is. Is it one name, or the other? Is it a for sure close up shop we are all done here option, or is it holy shit we’re leaving the door open for more because I can’t fathom my life without a daughter?

I’ve been racked with anxiety about this day, the day when it becomes almost officially official (Barring any surprises at delivery!), for weeks. And I know you could say, “But you’ll love them either way and it will be amazing and magical either way and your family will (probably) be complete either way!” and that is all true. And what else is true is that it doesn’t change how much it matters to me. One way or another. A fork in the road. What will we do with the information provided? Where will we go from here?

Right now, from where I’m sitting in the past, I don’t know. What am I going to do with the information I get? I guess, just like you guys, I’ll just have to wait and see.

8 thoughts on “One or the Other”

  1. Oh my god. I’m not even pregnant with #2, but this post is my thoughts exactly. I will be thinking those exact thoughts. Of COURSE you will love your second boy, but at this moment of COURSE you are hoping for your girl! (If only to avoid having to decide about #3! 😉 )

  2. Saw the picture on Instagram! So lovely! Beautiful little face and name.

    I think it’s perfectly okay to want one sex or another. I had wanted a girl because I knew we were only having one child and it was what I knew and was familiar with and what I felt I could be good at, being a mum to a daughter. And when we found out Dear Boy was all boy, I grieved for the girl I knew I would never have and got over it. The Schroedinger’s boy/girl child became a person and I found it didn’t matter to me anymore what the sex was because the person superceded the importance of the sex. But that’s just me.

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