There are several things that are now grossing me out to irrational levels. I thought I would make you a list.
- Any bathrooms. I can’t look too hard in them, and god forbid there are any smells, any smells at all – even nice ones. Especially bathrooms I have to frequent, like the at work bathroom. I’m in there too much, I know all of its secrets.
- My shampoo. The smell of it. I just can’t. I put off washing my hair because of this. Other people tell me I smell great, but this may be one of the only perks to having a stuffy nose for over a month.
- Bed sheets that have been on the bed longer than week.
- Places or things I know have never been wiped down (attn all germaphobes) like door handles and elevator buttons.
- My kitchen floor. It’s not even super gross. We vacuum all of the time, I just can’t abide it.
Mostly I wish I lived in a place that was constantly cleaned by tiny magic elves so that I never saw a smudge or speck of dust, I could take really long baths in a pristine tub every single day, and my shits were crisp, yet soft, smelling of open sundrenched fields. That’s normal, right?
” and my shits were crisp, yet soft, smelling of open sundrenched fields. ”
This is the best typo I’m going to read all day 🙂
And I hear ya. I would love to take baths more often. But unless that tub has JUST BEEN CLEANED (by someone other than me)… yeah, no, not gonna happen.
Oh it is so epic, it must stay. Typos: life’s little joys.
“crisp, yet soft” hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhaahaha
I thought it was a typo when I first read it, but I wasn’t sure. It seemed like something pregnant-Lauren would want.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Oh, so true.
First – that typo. LOVE!
Second – bath tubs freak me out. Shower floors freak me out. I just feel like all of the drityness ends up there. Soap scum, and dirt, and body oils….and I don’t want to touch them with my bare skin. I wear flip flops in my shower. Not because it’s dirty, but because the thought of my bare feet touching the floor makes me cringe. I think I’ve taken a relaxing bath once in the last 10 years, because I knew the tub was cleaned twice weekly, and I cleaned it before using it. But – my skin crawls! I’m a weirdo about this. I know it, and accept it.