Attn: All Germaphobes

There are several things that are now grossing me out to irrational levels. I thought I would make you a list.

  • Any bathrooms. I can’t look too hard in them, and god forbid there are any smells, any smells at all – even nice ones. Especially bathrooms I have to frequent, like the at work bathroom. I’m in there too much, I know all of its secrets.
  • My shampoo. The smell of it. I just can’t. I put off washing my hair because of this. Other people tell me I smell great, but this may be one of the only perks to having a stuffy nose for over a month.
  • Bed sheets that have been on the bed longer than week.
  • Places or things I know have never been wiped down (attn all germaphobes) like door handles and elevator buttons.
  • My kitchen floor. It’s not even super gross. We vacuum all of the time, I just can’t abide it.

Mostly I wish I lived in a place that was constantly cleaned by tiny magic elves so that I never saw a smudge or speck of dust, I could take really long baths in a pristine tub every single day, and my shits were crisp, yet soft, smelling of open sundrenched fields. That’s normal, right?

6 thoughts on “Attn: All Germaphobes”

  1. ” and my shits were crisp, yet soft, smelling of open sundrenched fields. ”

    This is the best typo I’m going to read all day 🙂

    And I hear ya. I would love to take baths more often. But unless that tub has JUST BEEN CLEANED (by someone other than me)… yeah, no, not gonna happen.

  2. First – that typo. LOVE!

    Second – bath tubs freak me out. Shower floors freak me out. I just feel like all of the drityness ends up there. Soap scum, and dirt, and body oils….and I don’t want to touch them with my bare skin. I wear flip flops in my shower. Not because it’s dirty, but because the thought of my bare feet touching the floor makes me cringe. I think I’ve taken a relaxing bath once in the last 10 years, because I knew the tub was cleaned twice weekly, and I cleaned it before using it. But – my skin crawls! I’m a weirdo about this. I know it, and accept it.

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