A Daughter

I was horribly nervous all morning. I thought for sure I’d have to interrupt the tech in order to go throw up. I almost passed out in the elevator to the doctor’s office. But once I could lay down on the table and the tech was showing us our baby, who was all curled up, seemingly asleep, I felt calm.

There was the spine and the heart and the femurs. There were the little hands giving us a thumb’s up. The night before I had had a dream that it was a girl and in my dream my dream self said to me, Lauren! It’s a girl! You knew all along! Why are you so worried? When I woke up I didn’t necessarily feel better, but I was thinking about that dream the whole time we were getting Gabe up, handing him off to Claire for the morning, and driving over.

The tech knew we were hoping for a girl but for most of the appointment our baby was not in a good position for seeing the goods, so she did her other work, the measuring and the blood flow monitoring and all of that.

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And then she very calmly said, “Well, I’ve had a look and it looks like you’re having a little girl.”

And just like that it was done. We knew. My joy was bigger than my relief. And I kept thinking Fae. Fae is in there and she was in there all along and I knew it.

A little later she looked again, confirming yet again that my daughter was inside me.

Fae Lira, coming July 2015. My daughter.

26 thoughts on “A Daughter”

  1. So exciting!! Congratulations to your family! I know ya’ll were crossing your fingers for a little girl so that’s such good news! And, let me reiterate, ya’ll are spot on with your kid names. Yay!

  2. Congratulations!! Reading your post yesterday made me so nervous and hit so close to home. I am really really hoping for a [certain sex] and I can confidently say that’s one of the reasons we are not finding out before hand. I know when our baby is born I will be so excited and happy, but I was really concerned that if it wasn’t and I found out early I would spend part of my pregnancy in mourning. Which feels stupid to even type out but there ya go. Thank you for writing so honestly about wanting a girl and not just repeating the “as long as it’s healthy we don’t mind either way” pregnancy party line

    Yay baby girl!!!

    1. Ha! I found out for the opposite reason. I did not want my first reaction to be a BAD one when the baby pops out. That would have been horrible! So I feel you on so many levels. <3

  3. So thrilled for you! We have a 10 month old boy and are, of course, thinking about the next and, like you, I desperately want a girl. We didn’t find out for the first but we’ll HAVE to know for the second just so I can prepare if it is another boy. Like I say to my husband who thinks I don’t want boys : It’s not that I don’t WANT a boy, it’s just that having a boy means I can’t have a girl. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Reading your post feels like what it will feel like when we find out about the second.

  4. Oof, tears! So happy for you all! And grateful that you’re talking about your journey and fears. I think I’ll be in a similar place in a year or so and am grateful you’re going first. Hooray for Fae!

  5. I had a dream that I was having a girl. This was at a point when I was psyching myself up for a girl in case that was the case, because I desperately wanted a boy. Well, I got my boy, but I had done such a good job prepping for a girl that I was a little sad. So happy to have Isaac, but sad that Hazel had been snatched away too. Next time, I think I will be leaning towards a girl, but I can just as easily imagine Isaac’s little brother too. It won’t be as major for me, because it was a little boy that I desperately wanted and couldn’t imagine never having – and I have him!

  6. Beautiful!

    I’m so happy that in the midst of all the hard, frustrating things (work and being sick and family stuff and raising a toddler) that the Universe is occasionally granting beautiful big things like having a girl! And being in Seattle!

    I can’t wait to meet your daughter. 🙂

  7. AHHHHHH YAYYYYYY!!! the summer of baby girls! Woohoo! So looking forward to swapping “big brother” moments! Bursting for you guys, congrats! (ps I absolutely love saying sister/daughter/she every chance I get now) XO

  8. Why the hell am I finding out it is a girl today??? OMG!!!! I am so happy for u guys!!!! The best of the best having boy and girl, wouldn’t change for anything!!! And love the name!!!! Also, happy bday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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