I have some more things to share. Just snippets here and there.
First! Weekend-ing will be returning. There may be weekends where all you see are piles and piles of used kleenex, I’m not going to lie. But also maybe some good family moments.
Speaking of photographing stuff. I am now showing but it is different than last time. Last time it was like my bump popped out of me like a perfectly round ball was pushing against my tummy skin. This time it sort of oozed forth. Like, if I tried I could still hide it, but only sort of. Mostly I feel wide and like a duck. Not cute and pregnant. Maybe cute and pregnant is reserved for first pregnancies and the rest of the time you’re just like, “Yeah, I’m gestating… what of it?” I have 25 weeks to go. That doesn’t seem very long.
Gabe is really annoying. He is also incredibly delightful and I love him more than life. But then again, he is really fucking annoying. He is rigidly obstinate and stubbornly in the “NO!” category with a side of swatting at people for any number of not-good-enough-reasons. “Do NOT hit momma!” is said in my house at least 5000000000000000 times a day. And a time out before we leave in the morning is absolutely not unheard of. SIGH. SIGH ALL THE TODDLER SIGHS. But then you know what happens? He loses his shit over Frozen and Elsa and Anna at the Disney store and competes for Biggest Fan Ever with a bunch of singing and dancing little girls and then carries his Elsa doll all over the house singing, “Let it gooooooooo!” over and over again… and how can you not love that?
I mean, it gets old quick, but come ON. That kind of lose-your-shit-ness because of absolute pure toddler joy? It cannot be replicated. I would drink it every day if they could bottle it, but they can’t. So I just keep Gabe even though he is annoying the rest of the time.
There are a few things that are pissing me off. So I’m going to list them.
- People not fully understanding how much WORK it is to keep another human alive and well adjusted. (I mean, how can you… it’s fine. We all live our own experiences but I’m just going to be frustrated with the lack of understanding/empathy for a hot second… ok?)
- Having to rely on someone else taking time out of their life to watch your child any time you ever want to do something without them. At all. Ever.
- This tickle in the back of my throat that causes me to cough so unproductively and eventually leads to a really bad headache because oh god let me stop coughing please this is so annoying make it stop.
- Anyone who shits on other people’s teams. Everything has a fan. It is not my place to judge your fan-dom. Rooting for people is not the same thing as actively rooting against people. Let’s up the positive and squelch the negative.
- Smugness. Oh my god. I’m sure the world is going to fall into place just perfectly for you, but fuck. Get over yourself. If we could control everything then I would have the perfect house with the perfect family and never feel discomfort a day in my life. But no one can control anything, so stop pretending like your magical gift is to predict your own fabulous future.
Now that that’s over with, let’s have some happies:
- Really lovely lotion.
- When I shave my legs. It is few and far between… don’t judge, it’s winter… but when I do I feel like I’ve climbed Everest.
- How beautiful it is outside. Like so beautiful I can’t ever take a photo of it that does it justice.
- The new coat I got for Christmas that is black on the outside and then has an insane FLOWER design on the inside. I wear it every day, about half the time I never take it off.
- Deciding on a day just for me for my 30th birthday in April and not relying on anyone else to make it fabulous.
Do you have things? Do you have happies? Do you have rants? Lay em on me.