Under Gunders The Saga Continues…

Did you know that I still get comments on this post about the Old Navy mesh hipsters (AKA the JESUS of underwear!!) even now, years later? I think I got one last week even. So many women are out there, frustrated about the loss of the perfect panty.

OLD NAVY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

So many ladies are asking, “Where is the replacement? Where can I find the perfect mix of full coverage and panti-line-free-ness that were (and still are for many of us, oops) the mesh hipster?”

And I’m here with a semi-answer. There is no replacement. There just isn’t! And we need to stop searching and give up. Sometimes, in life, you have to settle! I’m sorry! Real talk, right now ladies… it’s true. Sometimes we settle. I’m tired of spending too much money on underwear that is only so-so, that doesn’t live up to the cheap perfection of Old Navy. I’m actually totally gun shy to even purchase underwear to try because the brands that promise me the world are so expensive!

I tried Gap – not enough coverage, Target – no staying power and too cheap for me, Natori – too expensive and they cut in on my hips, Victoria’s Secret – wedgy and Aero – too young for me + panty lines.

So I stopped caring. I had a kid, I like to feel like I’m wearing something, you know what? I fucking love granny panties. I DO. Ok? I really do. But I don’t want to LOOK like I do. So one day at Target I said fuck it, if I have to wear my totally stretched out, holy mesh hipsters for life then at least at night I can be cozy in the full coverage. So I wandered over to the hanes and fruit of the loom wall of underwear and snatched up a few packs.

Guess what?

Not only did I spend 30 dollars on NINE PAIRS of underwear (Whhaatt?!), I also found a pair that are pretty seamless and also cozy!!! There will never be another mesh hipster. Let’s all say it together, There Will Never Be Another Mesh Hipster. It is time to let go and move on.

But you know what? The Hanes Premium Invisible Smooth Bikini comes close enough for me. I even wore them under yoga pants and didn’t embarrass myself. So, there’s that.

I don’t have time for this journey anymore. I just need some underpants that don’t suck. And these don’t suck!

Who else has underpants that don’t suck? I want to hear from you!!

6 thoughts on “Under Gunders The Saga Continues…”

  1. Ha! I love this so much. I wear the cotton Hanes ComfortSoft ones that I buy in 3 packs at Target. They don’t suck. I put them on, they are comfy, I don’t think about them at all, which is the sign of good underwear in my book.

    1. I buy the Hanes ComfortSoft 3 packs from Target too, and I love them. They are the only underwear I find comfy. Of course, I love the full coverage of granny panty style underwear, so I buy the low rise briefs. They stopped selling that style for a while and I was heartbroken, but lately I’ve been able to find them again. They were gone long enough for me to experience a little bit of your pain, Lauren. Uncomfortable underwear can be so distracting it feels like it throws off your whole day. I’m glad you finally found something that works for you!

  2. I feel the struggle!! I feel it! That is so exciting about fruitt of the loom 🙂 My struggle ended recently too when I found a pair by hanky panky! They are a little bit boy shorts/ hipster and a little bit regular. They are glorious!!! Maybe I will go find the link! Thet fit Beautifully, not a single line in sight, but also give the feel of full coverage while being a fun flower pattern lace! The ONLY downfall is that they are expensive – and it was a stroke of luck (from returns and gift cards) that I was recently able to snatch up 5 pairs. My undies life will never be the same!

  3. I similarly struggle and just when I thought I’ve found the answer something happens and my underwear is a quarter of the way down my ass. I vacillate between just giving up and being stubborn and determined. This is America! There are a million underwear options! How can there not be one for me?!

    1. Part of the problem is that it is such an investment. With money, sure, but also once you put it on and walk out the door it can be a non issue OR THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOUR DAY THE END JUST GO HOME. And that is a huge fucking gamble. I don’t have the mental energy for that anymore!

  4. I have fairly good luck with the Gillian & O’Malley line at Target. They’re super comfy and they stay put, I don’t get wedgies. I wear the cotton bikini ones that have a lace trim. 5 for $25.

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