Did you know that I still get comments on this post about the Old Navy mesh hipsters (AKA the JESUS of underwear!!) even now, years later? I think I got one last week even. So many women are out there, frustrated about the loss of the perfect panty.
OLD NAVY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
So many ladies are asking, “Where is the replacement? Where can I find the perfect mix of full coverage and panti-line-free-ness that were (and still are for many of us, oops) the mesh hipster?”
And I’m here with a semi-answer. There is no replacement. There just isn’t! And we need to stop searching and give up. Sometimes, in life, you have to settle! I’m sorry! Real talk, right now ladies… it’s true. Sometimes we settle. I’m tired of spending too much money on underwear that is only so-so, that doesn’t live up to the cheap perfection of Old Navy. I’m actually totally gun shy to even purchase underwear to try because the brands that promise me the world are so expensive!
I tried Gap – not enough coverage, Target – no staying power and too cheap for me, Natori – too expensive and they cut in on my hips, Victoria’s Secret – wedgy and Aero – too young for me + panty lines.
So I stopped caring. I had a kid, I like to feel like I’m wearing something, you know what? I fucking love granny panties. I DO. Ok? I really do. But I don’t want to LOOK like I do. So one day at Target I said fuck it, if I have to wear my totally stretched out, holy mesh hipsters for life then at least at night I can be cozy in the full coverage. So I wandered over to the hanes and fruit of the loom wall of underwear and snatched up a few packs.
Not only did I spend 30 dollars on NINE PAIRS of underwear (Whhaatt?!), I also found a pair that are pretty seamless and also cozy!!! There will never be another mesh hipster. Let’s all say it together, There Will Never Be Another Mesh Hipster. It is time to let go and move on.
But you know what? The Hanes Premium Invisible Smooth Bikini comes close enough for me. I even wore them under yoga pants and didn’t embarrass myself. So, there’s that.
I don’t have time for this journey anymore. I just need some underpants that don’t suck. And these don’t suck!
Who else has underpants that don’t suck? I want to hear from you!!