The Space Between Rest and Race

So the year is half over. I really can’t believe June is done. JUNE IS DONE? The longest day of the year has come and gone? What? How did that happen? Wasn’t everyone JUST complaining about snow? Where am I? Who are you again?Ā 

Anyways, so the year is half gone. Poof. And I’ve been thinking about the goals I’ve set for myself for this year and I really couldn’t remember what they were. So yesterday I went back and read through the post where I talked about that.

Past me is sometimes so smart! Do you ever feel that? Past me is super smart. Thank you past me for knowing exactly what I needed, thank you thank you thank you for setting me on a path where I can kind of figure some stuff out, have room to grow, have the room to have some fun, to do some work, to buckle down, etc. Way to go past me, high-five.

I am constantly feeling torn between pushing myself to do more and needing to take a break. I think that is the conflict of LIFE, but it is also a very common conflict with creating. When do I take a minute to wander and think and feel? When do I tell myself to suck it up and push harder, write more, burn the candle at both ends?

Right now I am in a frenzied space. I want to say yes to all of the things, I want to chase every opportunity. With writing I feel like it is so undervalued that with every offer there is a threat of it being the really important one and also the hope of it being the really important one. So I write and I chase and I hope that something gets picked up and spread around and then more eyeballs see my name and maybe seek out more of my work and it’s all very grass-roots up in here. It’s all very scrappy.

But it’s also incredibly exhausting and I would be fooling myself if I didn’t acknowledge the need for breaks sometimes. I’m really looking forward to this 3 day weekend. I need a little reset. I need a little wander and walk and think and quiet.

How has your 1/2 the year been? How are things going for you? If you’re in the US what are you doing for this beloved long weekend? Tell me where you’re at. I need a little grounding.

10 thoughts on “The Space Between Rest and Race”

  1. Past the halfway point of the year, this is me too: “I am constantly feeling torn between pushing myself to do more and needing to take a break.”

    Maybe the second half of this year will be the part where I learn to balance filling the well and dipping from it? And as the summer seems to be hurrying away, and I still haven’t gone swimming in the ocean yet, and I’ve said yes to many things and need to do them, I’ve definitely lost sight of my goals for the year. I’m not even in the ocean, and I feel tumbled by the waves.

    Basically, I co-sign everything you said here. AHHHHHH.

      1. Aww, thanks! It always feels like such a struggle to come close to creating that lifestyle, and most of the time I feel like I fall way short. Grass, greener, over there. *sigh*

  2. I had a small freakout the other day when I realized we’re halfway through the year, and I’m nowhere NEAR accomplishing any of the goals I set out for myself. Run 300 miles in the year? I’m 33% of the way there. Revise my book? I’ve edited the first 2 chapters. It sucks, because while I know I’ve been slacking on these things, I feel like I’ve been busy ALL THE TIMEZ. I feel like I’ve been on “break” mode for too long, but still can’t figure out where to push.

    So, basically — yes, you nailed this. Good timing.

      1. Well, there are the plans in theory, and the plans in reality šŸ˜‰

        The running: I worked it out that if I ran two 2-mile runs and one 3-mile run every week, I’d hit 300 miles easy. I track it all with my Runkeeper app. But I haven’t been good on that plan, so now I’m way behind.

        The editing: The real problem is — I haven’t worked out a concrete plan or schedule. It’ll probably involve waking up ungodly early every morning to get “work” done before work. Yaaaaay! šŸ˜‰

  3. Pacing the marathon is a constant challenge for me, and for that reason I’m also ridiculously looking forward to this holiday weekend. Grilling and fireworks Friday, grilling Saturday, chilling out with a friend Sunday. Them’s the plans and my dance card is full.

    In the past few months I’ve been trying to work on only having one commitment per day on the weekends. It’s a struggle for sure but it’s really helped cut down on the rushing to and fro feeling. My other goals have been going strong….except exercise. I just can’t seem to settle into a routine and be accountable to myself.I try to cut myself a break but I know how good it feels. I think I need to journal about it a bit more.

  4. I saved my goal list in my email. I just checked to see what I wanted to accomplish this year and I’m actually doing pretty well with it:

    *Throw Frances an actual birthday party this year. – DONE

    *Find a babysitter to pay to watch my kid so that I can go on more dates with my wife. – DONE (only once, but we’ve also done one no-kid overnight and have another planned, so I’m happy with how things are going.)

    *Rent a cottage at the beach for a vacation with my extended family. – DONE (it was awesome).

    *Finish the quilt that I started when we bought our house back in 2008 (!). – NOT DONE. (I haven’t worked on this at all, and it’s one million degrees out now. Maybe I’ll get back to quilting in the Fall).

    *Get in the habit of giving to charity (focusing on doing it regularly vs. giving a lot). – IN PROGRESS (I’ve been giving 1% of my income to a charity monthly. Currently one month behind).

    *Do a regular kid’s book post on my blog. – SORT OF IN PROGRESS (I’ve done this a few times, but I’m not too regular about it. Still I’m happy enough with how things stand).

    But still, I get that frenzied feeling. Not so much goals related as just life related. There is never enough time in the day and I get to this point and I’m just so exhausted and simple things just don’t happen because I don’t have 5 more minutes of energy.

    More relaxation, more breaks are called for – so I’m excited about this long weekend. We are going to my parents’ farm and will feed chickens and buy ice cream cones from the dairy and just be away from it all. I’m going to try not to check Facebook or Twitter or anything, just be present.

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