That Was Monday, But This is Tuesday

Some days you wake up to great news for someone else that reminds you of the annoying details of your own life. You wake up and that’s the first thing you see. And you are like “Wow that is awesome” on the inside but “ugh” on the inside and that just is the way it is.

Sometimes there are no rainbows or magical bubbles floating around in a field. Sometimes there is just what the fuck and your kid throwing his pacifier on the ground and then hating you for not picking it up for him. There is the part where he is mad at you and it is the first part of the morning, the part where you walk into his room to save him from his crib and he throws himself backwards to prevent you from picking him up even though you are singing, “Good morning, good morning…” and he whacks his head on his crib and cries even harder because now not only are you not picking up his pacifier you are also hurting him, probably on purpose. Except of course you aren’t, and why oh why can’t he just be happy to see you and stop with all of the dramatics?

Then a shitty email happens and the shitty email reminds you of work you’ve done for free, and what the godamnfuck? But! You choose to not engage, because it isn’t worth it. Instead you stew in it for like 3 hours because you just can’t shake the totally taken-advantage-of-feeling you totally brought on yourself and what were you even thinking with agreeing to that? Ugh.

And then you notice something dumb. Something on Facebook that makes you feel invisible. Invisibility happens so much more frequently than you ever thought possible. How do you do that thing where you just don’t exist to some people? It’s not a very fun magic trick and you wish you’d stop accidentally performing it.

And of course unexpected things pop up, as they often do in life, but this time you are totally unraveled because it just isn’t a good day. It isn’t even noon and the day has already been labeled No Good Very Bad. Sometimes you just have to call it: This day is not going to be a good one. You have to call it and embrace it and try to move forward.

By 4:30 nothing has gotten done that you wanted to get done because instead of having a normal day, it has been a No Good Very Bad one and all of your energy has been trained on not giving into the terribleness of it, even though you had previously agreed to just embrace it and move forward.

Harder to do than you’d think.

And that was Monday. And it was dumb and I don’t want to do it again. Today is Tuesday and somehow that means something better, it needs to mean something better.


15 thoughts on “That Was Monday, But This is Tuesday”

  1. Oh Lauren all the hugs. There is an envelope on the post somewhere across the ocean on its way to you.
    I see the blue sky and flowers in the window. I hope Tuesday will be better and whatever it is… will just go away. Cry if you need to and then let things go, it’s not worth it.
    And I hope the drama with Gabe will be over soon… it’s hopefully a short phase?

  2. I wish (so hard!) that we lived in the same city so I could take you out for a very large margarita and a very large bowl of chips and guac after days (weeks/months) like this.

  3. Solidarity forever. Sometimes you just have to write a day off and say, “you’re a mean jerk and I hate you!”. Here’s to Tuesday!

  4. Sometimes you have meeting where smart things are said, and you said some of them, and were feeling pretty good about the smart things you said and how well you collaborated with other smart people, and then only ONE of those smart people gets props afterward from someone whose opinion you value, and it’s not you, it’s someone who’s 22 and just graduated from freaking college and is bubbly and outgoing and everything you’re not, and you really like her and all, but you have to spend the entire rest of the day trying really really hard not to hate her, which makes you feel very small and stupid when you started out feeling smart.

    Just, you know, another EXAMPLE of a bad day. I hope today is better for you, too. Love.

    1. Oh god. I’ve been there and my indignation is bubbling up on your behalf. OR when you have an amazing idea, and then your boss steals it and emails it out to upper management and you have to watch your amazing idea be bastardized and the props given to an incompetent goob.

  5. And then you write about it and it’s a comfort to everyone who reads it because sometimes, we all have those days. And then it’s Tuesday, so there’s that.

    Thanks Lauren. You’re amazing.

  6. Maybe you were having a bit of a let-down after a romantic and fun weekend celebrating you! I think that happens more often than not..Just keep breathing 🙂

  7. sorry you had one of those days….I’ve been having a bunch lately. Yesterday’s frosting on the crummy cake was a friend from high school announcing her 4th (!) pregnancy. She cannot afford the three kids she already has (and proclaims so often on facebook, so I’m not making it up) but is “SOOOOO excited for another little baby!!” I thought about sending her a private message to see if I could adopt it, but that would just be me trying to make her feel badly…

    here’s to better days. I’d offer a cheers, but in these times of trying (and still failing) to make a baby I cannot even have a drink!

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