There was a boy, maybe 20 years old, on the train the other day who tried to chat me up. He even made eyes at me. He had freckles and a lot of luggage and was decked out in hockey fan attire. It was adorable and a little shocking that I wasn’t oozing the scent of married-with-child I put on every day. It is now totally clear that I am an old fogey, by the way, because though this adorable young chap was attempting the chat and flirt maneuver I was really just interested in getting back to my book. If only 22 year old me could see me now. Ha-cha-cha.
Oh! A few weeks ago, another chance encounter with a stranger occurred. This time at the starbucks (because that’s specific) by my work (1/30). I was waiting in line and there was a guy in front of me. I paid him no attention at all other than to notice he was there. After I ordered, got my stuff, and walked out, the same man was standing just outside the door. He said, “Excuse me,” to get my attention (and I realize this sounds creepy now, but at the time I swear it wasn’t!) and then told me his name, which I promptly forgot. Out of total polite habit (which also seems absurd now, but stay with me!) I put out my hand and said, “Hi, I’m Lauren.” He then asked, in a very thick Russian-y accent, if I had a boyfriend. He seemed so hopeful it was kind of adorable. I smiled and said yes, and then paused and then said, “Actually I’m married.” He said, “…Oh,” in the most dejected way possible. I smiled and practically skipped my way back to the office. That’s right! Who can attract semi creepy foreigners? THIS GIRL. Still got it.
(Note: My husband, also a little bit of a semi-creeper foreigner as well…it’s all becoming so very clear now…)
I have a new found fervor for reading. I was kind of meh with my last batch of books, but now I am reinvigorated and all I want to do is read and talk about what I’m reading and then read some more. It’s not at all productive for … life, but it is excellent for my brain and happiness. I think happiness wins over productivity whenever I have the time to let it be so. I’m loving reading so much that even though I’m barely half way done with my current reader generated book list, I can’t WAIT to start the next one. So read on I shall.
I am SO looking forward to Christmas this year, and yes it will be great to see a lot of people I love, but more importantly… I am totally enamored with the commercialism of it. Have you seen the new Reeses christmas trees? Because AHH they are so good!! And guess what? I am totally stoked for the presents. STOKED. I feel like I could burn down my closet and feel totally ok with it. I can’t wait to get some new things. Oh the STUFF, sometimes, and this is truly not often, I long and lust and really appreciate the STUFF of life and holidays, especially holidays that involve surprise gifts.
My sister in law mentioned the other day some sort of facebook thing that was going around. Something about “Name the things that defines who you are the most.” At first glance it seems like an easy question, and maybe for some people it actually IS an easy question, but for me (and my sister in law) the more I thought about it the harder it became to piece together. How would I describe my core? All I keep thinking of is: Lauren. I write things, but that’s not all of me. I am a wife and mother, but that certainly isn’t all of me. I am funny (I hope), I like colors and patterns and all forms of design. And music. And books. And dogs. And that doesn’t even touch on the things I hope I am. I hope I am creatively unique. I hope I am interesting, entertaining, kind, clever, etc. How could I answer that even in a sentence? Is there one thing that best defines who I am? Could there ever be? After thinking about this question for even 5 minutes I started to have a mini existential crisis, so then I stopped. But now I’ve started again… and probably so have you. Good luck with that.
I’m trying to grow out my hair, but it is slow going. When my hair fell out after giving birth, it changed the texture of my hair and the weight balance went all wonky when all of the new growth sprouted and suddenly the top part of my head is now way thicker than any other part of my hair. Very confusing for styling and blow drying when 2 inch pieces of hair are shooting out all over my scalp. Like a clown wearing a bicycle helmet. Anyways, with the help of a hair mask and patience, my thickness is slowly returning and so is my length. I generally layer my hair up a lot for various maintenance reasons, but I have been waiting for my thickness to become a more all over thing and not just a top-of-my-head thing. It feels like I’ll have another baby and have all that hair fall out and have all that weird new growth happen before any of this new growth gets to a stage that is even halfway decent. TL;DR Nothing is every going to be the way it was and it’s going to take me 10 years to figure out how to navigate it all. Joy.