This Weekend

This weekend I am going to empty the last remaining boxes and hang stuff on the wall. I promise. This has to happen. I need to be moved in! I want to show you our apartment! Before we move to the next place and it’s like this place never even happened.

This weekend I’m also getting a massage. In a spa. An experience I have been obsessing over for weeks. A spa! With the rubbing! And the waterfall spa music! And the quiet! And being able to lay on my stomach without 1) a giant belly or 2) GIANT boobs killing me. I don’t think I will ever get over the joy of not being pregnant… even knowing I’ll be pregnant again one day. Sigh.

And then…this weekend we are also getting Gabe a passport. A passport for a baby, it seriously blows my mind. I didn’t get a passport until I was 20. I had already been to Canada a few times, but those times were before 9/11. And now my baby will have a passport. I keep talking about how this world is different. I talk about it in regards to money and opportunity and education. And about travel, about how the world is smaller and how having adventures is maybe easier… but somehow buying a house is much harder. There is a different post here for a different time, but right now I want to talk about this weekend.

This weekend I’m going to wish I didn’t have to go to work again on Monday. It’s going to be Sunday and I’m going to want to spend more time with my family, I’m going to want to spend more time on our apartment, on my writing, on long walks, I’m going to want to be with Kamel more and my job less. I don’t want to feel that way anymore, but there it is. The weekends are never long enough and I drag myself to work out of obligation, out of the necessity for a paycheck. It wasn’t always like that, but it is like that now. I’m trying to fix it.

This weekend can’t come soon enough.

9 thoughts on “This Weekend”

  1. I’m nodding in solidarity here. It seems so strange and wrong to me that I always feel like I’m doing the Real Work — the work that I love — on the weekend. The care-for-myself work, the care-for-my-home-and-family work, the soul-satisfying work. I always arrive at the weekend with a huge, yet fulfilling to-do list, and bid adieu on Sunday frustrated that I didn’t get to everything. I hope your weekend is full and satisfying to you, my dear!

  2. Oh man: adventures easier and house buying harder… I have THOUGHTS.

    I also have thoughts about wanting to spend more time with family.

    Write all of these posts Lauren so I can come ramble in your comments.

    1. I saved $8,000 in six months to go to Europe but the concept of owning a home still seems laughably impossible. It’s the bank, the paperwork, the housing market in this city (and the Bay Area is way worse), and not feeling comfortable making such a big choice as a single woman. Dropping myself solo in Turkey is a breeze compared to that. Turkey at least has maps.

  3. I feel you on the dreading Mondays thing. I am feeling unappreciated and not so satisfied or motivated in my job, and have been for a while. The problem, in my case, is that I am not particularly ambitious, either. So searching for something else isn’t really high on my list of priorities.

    Your weekend plans sound wonderful, and I hope your time at home fills you up and fortifies you for the coming week ahead.

  4. Oh goodness. I was crying about being miserable at my job just last night. I am of the unambitious quiet type. Puffy eyes at the office this morning? Check. Sleep-deprived brain? Always. Thank you for this post.

  5. Oh yes. These days I definitely feel like I’m living for the weekends and the in-between snatches of time during the week when I can put work down and spend time doing the stuff that feels like it really matters. Turns out I’m far more domestically oriented than I’d ever thought possible…

    Your weekend sounds lovely! Enjoy the hell out of it!

  6. Things hanging on the walls is always one of the emotional signs for me that where I’m living is “home”. When my artwork and antique clock are up on the walls there’s a little release valve inside me that recognizes I’m where I’m supposed to be, and I never can feel settled until then.

    Hopefully you’ll get to enjoy the weekend to its fullest. Sounds like you and Kamel have plans to make that happen. šŸ™‚

    The housing market has gotten so frustrating lately. We’re in the saving-to-buy mode and it feels like everything is going against us. In the past year we’ve saved crazy amounts of money and due to changes in the local housing market (homes in our intended budget have virtually disappeared over the past year) and mortgage rules it somehow feels like we’re even farther than we were to start with. Saving for a house feels like chasing the horizon.

  7. Weekends are never, ever long enough. By the time we get the key housework done that I just dont have time or energy for during the week, entertain LJ, see my parents, do the groceries, we just never seem to find time to do something FUN as a family.
    This needs to be fixed.
    On the plus side, we are coming in to summer, and LJ is able to be awake longer, so Sunday bike rides or bush walks are now far more do-able šŸ™‚

  8. dreading mondays… truth. so much truth. my husband and i are seriously considering both going part-time and downsizing our expenses in a major way. hugs from ohio!

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