Swindled

Last weekend at the farmer’s market we got swindled by the cheese man. I could see it coming a mile away but I was powerless to stop it. This is what happens when you barely have breakfast, get lost on your way to the famer’s market, arrive around lunch time, and wonder the fruits and veggies helpless. Then the cheese man comes and offers free samples, and that’s all she wrote folks.

I was buying carrots so fresh from the ground I could smell them! And they still had their green carrot tops on! Kamel was with the baby (asleep) in the stroller and the cheese man was just finishing up his pitch to a husband/wife duo who were trying to politely back away after buying at least 15 dollars in cheese (a very small amount, my friends… miniscule).

He started with flavored curds and I really just wanted to smile and nod and continue on our way, but poor Kamel was hooked. The cheese man had him in the bag. There were regular curds, garlic curds, and spicy curds. Ok… at spicy curds I have to admit I was sold. We could have stopped there. I actually TRIED to stop there, but this is what the cheese man said,

“Nah, man… we are on a cheese journey here! You can’t stop the ride until you’ve experienced the full cheese spectrum!!”

And who am I to argue with that, really? I better buckle up then.

After the curds we moved onto the homemade feta, which was like no other feta I had ever tasted in my life. Because, clearly, it was made from magic.

Then the hunk of gouda-type cheese. Not a true gouda, but something possibly even better. Super melt-able, a little nutty, very noms. And look at me go – pitching you the cheese pitch. I swear, these hippy farmers market cheese guys know what the fuck they’re doing, that’s for sure.

By the time we got to the Parmesan we were pretty much throwing money at the guy. An independent, family own farm you say? A farm we can visit??? The hippy cheese man actually said, “Yeah and you can hold a baby goat, too, if you want!” WHAT! A BABY GOAT! THAT IS RIDICULOUS!

So we ended up buying the spicy curds. $8 freaking dollars of spicy curds.

I didn’t realize until we were unpacking at home how small amount of cheese we actually purchased. Maybe like 20 curds at max… maybe even close to 15. Wahhh cheese man! Never again! (Except I would like to hold a baby goat. Thankyouverymuch.) I can’t believe how expensive and how unsatisfying that was. OOoooo curses farmer’s market! And your promise of farm to plate goodness! And your cash onlyness! And your delicious displays of organic produce, eggs, cheese, poultry, and fish! Until next time…

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7 thoughts on “Swindled”

  1. Oh god. This made me laugh. I am the biggest sucker for “It’s fresh, we’re family-run, it’s all local!” Which, yes, IS all awesome. But also marketing. And that is one marketing ploy that I fall for, hook line and sinker.

    Now I want cheese.

    But seriously, PLEASE GO HOLD A BABY GOAT. And document it and share. Please and thanks.

  2. Baby goats are the cutest thing ever. And they are so smart too. Have you seen miniature breeds? that is just too much cute. When you guys come we’ll take you to the kinder boerderij (pet farm), you will love it.

    All that cheese sounds good! Too bad they didn’t give much for the price šŸ™

  3. Resisting the Call of the Cheese is just impossible. I can’t. I find it easier to resist chocolate than cheese. I am not at all surprised that Mr. Cheeseman talked you into dairy goodness. If anything, I’m surprised at how hard he worked for it. All it would’ve taken for me is to smell his stall and I would’ve gone all “Shut up and take my money! I buy All the Cheese!”

    Although I have to say, I’ve never had curds (so now I must find them and then I will make poutine because it is fascinating). What do you do with curds? Just eat them as snacks?

  4. Fancy cheese is so dangerous. So amazing and so decadent and so expensive. Our shopping strategy is that we won’t even go near the cheesemonger if we don’t have a little cheese money put aside (because otherwise it can take the entire budget!)

  5. I always say yes to the cheese samples, but then I ask for a business card or to take a photo of their label because I “Have too much cheese at home right now.” Which is always true but never keeps me from buying more at Costco…

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