A Mom Who Blogs

Before Gabe popped out I angsted over how I would change personally and, yes, how this space would change. I didn’t want this to be baby times USA woo hoo woo hoo pro-creating like whaaat!

I am here to report that having a baby has changed me, the deep down bits of me, the me of me, in small ways – NOT big ways. I am sleepier, I am busier (And have less time for bullshit. It is actually a major blessing.), and now that I am not pregnant I feel as though I have razor sharp focus. My time is precious and when I want to get something done it HAPPENS. I multi-task and I juggle and that is how I will succeed, if I succeed at all. I am super woman with no time to waste, yo. Bring on the world! Just let me get a little bit more sleep, please.

Anyway, that is not so much different than before. I have always been good at juggling the hats. I have always been a big producer of things. Working a lot, going to school, taking on too many to-dos on my t0-do list and getting them all done. I was one of those “achiever” stereotype truths. It is clear why I have an anxiety disorder, why I have struggled with various bouts (years) of insomnia, etc etc. But that’s me, and I am still here – baby and all.

But I am still self-conscious, painfully self-conscious, of being seen as just one thing. Yesterday I was writing down blog ideas and scheduling this week and next week on post-it notes I had pilfered from work while trying desperately to fill enough posts that had nothing to do with babies or moms or baby-mama shenanigans. It was stressing me out. Really really stressing me out. I don’t want to only talk about post-partum life, babies, and being a mom. But holy jeebus! This is a lifestyle blog and right now this is my life. So after scrambling to come up with more to say I finally gave up.

This is my life. I can’t undo it. I don’t want to undo it. I love this life. I am not ashamed of this life, I am ridiculously proud of what we have going on here – grumpy baby, scrambling me, and a pile of things to write on my to-do lists all having to do with the things I see and feel and think. And a lot of those things have to do with this new role.

So what does that mean? I guess nothing, except that I am calling it like I sees it. I’m writing about baby stuff more than I wanted to before Gabe was a person who lived outside of me. I will be starting to write more about books, about cooking, about fashion, and many random other things more and more (like I used to). But the kid and the family and me as mom is always here. It is, by far, the biggest thing that is smacking me in the face on a daily basis, and the way I work things out is by writing about them here.

Evolving is strange. It happens even if you don’t want it to, it happens while you are looking the other way. When I was single I talked about writing and loneliness and terrible dates. When I was engaged I talked about jobs and wedding products and trying to navigate another person who was quickly becoming a part of who I was (am). After I got married that shifted things yet again. And here we are with a third person in the mix. I’m still working out the kinks. Thank you for working them out with me – it’s a process and I’m just 3 months in.

I am Lauren and I am a mom and I have a blog. I identify as a writer and a lot of other things; an eater of vegetables, a player of video games, a reader of many many books, a watcher of Game of Thrones. I like to sleep like a starfish, but sleeping with someone else makes that impossible. My child is my favorite and my three best friends are my sisters and family forever and ever. I am from Seattle and I feel like Odysseus having a very difficult time getting back. The list goes on and on. My goal is that that is always reflected here.

11 thoughts on “A Mom Who Blogs”

  1. I’ve never felt like the baby has taken over your blog. The way you present what you talk about, even when it’s about Gabe, always feels like you’re sharing your own life and experiences. If he wasn’t a big part of it right now it wouldn’t feel very genuine, really. It comes off a whole more like you’re sharing your life with us, and it still feels like the focus is on a thoughtful and funny exploration of where you find yourself.

    And at three months old? Of course Gabe and figuring out your own parenting is going to be a big part of that picture. But you do it so well.

  2. Yeah Lauren… maybe it’s because over here we are secretly in love with all the faces that Gabe makes (he really has the philosopher look), but, like Sheryl said, even when you talk about Gabe, it is within whatever is happening in your life. About the farmer market, taking walks, discovering new ways of doing all the things you want to do, prioritizing, having fun and adventures, and achieving your goals. You are an inspiration!

    1. Thanks Amanda! I do not feel like an inspiration in any way at all. I think you are. You have way more perseverance than I have ever had to muster ever in my life. <3 You amaze me.

  3. I love this blog and have really enjoyed reading about your recent leap into motherhood. It’s YOUR space and I think most people are here to read your writing and keep up with your life, so obviously that includes a lot of baby stuff right now. I’m a 20-something with no kids who likes reading motherhood entries, for what it’s worth 🙂

  4. Thank you all. And if I ever start to go down a road that is lamesville, I depend on you to snap me out of it. Sometimes I’m writing and writing and thinking and thinking inside my own little bubble and everything gets all jumbled up and I can’t tell what’s good anymore. I appreciate the reality checks.

  5. Nothing about what you blog makes you seem like the “mommy blogger” you didn’t want to be. Everything you write comes across as you telling us stories about your life – whether that’s pregnancy, wedding, cooking, adventures and of course, Gabe. That’s all a part of who you are and I, for one, like to read what you have to say xx

  6. I agree with everyone. You are really great at always writing about your own perspective and your own ideas and impressions. Even when you’re writing about Kamel and something you did together you never write as if you can speak for him or his experiences. That’s really important and surprisingly rare in the blogosphere.

    So keep writing whatever it is you want to write. And if you’re getting too mommy bloggy, I promise to call you out on it. But so long as you don’t make a photo of just Gabe as your profile photo… then I think you’re safe 😉

  7. you are totes great, lauren! and i truly enjoy reading whatever you post on your blog. it’s been fun getting to know you and kamel and now gabe, through your blog 🙂 ps game of thrones, yay!!!

  8. I say this as not-a-mom, so you know, grain-of-salt and all that, but I think we’re all subject to ebbs and flows in that sometimes things take over our lives a little bit, and that’s just the way it has to be. Having a newborn/young baby, I mean, that’s a big deal and of course it is taking over your life a little bit. Likewise, sometimes I get really obsessed with a story I’m writing and it’s all I can think about. When we were looking for houses, I was consumed by real estate. Ebb, flow, rinse, repeat. Etc. FWIW, your blog hasn’t gotten annoying to me, and I am a childfree (I just totally nouned that) (and then I made noun a verb, I am on a roll). So just keep writing about your life, because your life is always going to change, and that’s what makes blogs interesting!

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