**I wrote this on Saturday, which was my birthday, knowing it would go live today. Thank you for all of the birthday wishes this weekend!! It was an insane day… but more on that later.
A year ago on this day I was waking up at the Bellagio in Vegas. Today I woke up a bajillion times in the night in my bed, next to a very sleepy Kamel, to the tunes of the baby Gabe
politely requesting a diaper change and some fucking food mom, ok?!
I have been writing my year in review for many years now, but some of those posts have gone the way of the old blog world. If you would like to catch up on 24, 25, and 26 there they are! Today I turn 28 and this post is all about the year I was 27. (Holy numbers batman!) I prefer my years over the world’s years for contemplation. I want to remember always that 1 year is a lot of time, but also a short blip. I don’t want to ever take for granted the time I have here, and whether I’m experiences adventures ginormous or teensy, the redundancy of work/home/work/home/work, or the lameness of overflowing laundry and the pile of mail that just continues to grow – it’s good for me to take a step back and think about what all was done from start to finish in this one measurable space of my life.
I never really felt 27… odd years are hard for me to wrap my brain around for whatever reason. Like 2013 – I keep thinking it is 2014. And when I was 27 I kept second-guessing myself. “27? Is that right? How old am I again? Are you sure?” I am relieved to now be 28.
So it started off in Vegas, on a cold April day in the desert. I was wearing my green birthday dress that I had bought because, yes. I think everyone deserves a little bit of an indulgent birthday suit, even if you are just wearing it for pizza and beer. Dressing up makes me happy, and what better way to celebrate than by making myself happy? Well… that dress soon found a pair of jeans underneath it because hot damn it was cold.
In May I was able to take part in Maris and Alex’s wedding. By far the most exhausting weekend of my entire life! Maris knows how to throw a freaking party, and girl did not leave the wedding until they shut it down. I wrote about my feelings on sisters and the emotional experience of watching my favorite people go through major life events. I had really good hair and we all wore fabulous shoes. Oh yeah – and of course there was EPIC EPICNESS with Margaret and Jeff! The hot air balloon ride that nearly gave Kamel a heart attack, but that will go down in history as the most surprisingly amazing thing I have ever done (until something else comes along, but good luck something else! You have big shoes to fill!).
In May I also went to Houston for work and broke the rental car and had a meltdown in my hotel room. I also got a lot of bug bites, got to hang out with Rachelle and Amanda J, watch soccer, eat barbecue, and zoom through a lot of tolls without paying. Oops.
In June, I got pregnant! And even before I knew I was pregnant (but I totally was!) I got to spend an entire day with miss Kinzie and her brand new husband, Donnie on their honeymoon! We didn’t announce the pregnancy until I was 3 months-ish, but I started writing about all of that crazyness right away and saving it in drafts.
The summer months were a lot of me being really sick and trying desperately to pretend I wasn’t. I spent a lot of time on the floor in the hallway of my work trying not to throw up or pass out. I spent a lot of time trying to come up with things to say on this blog that were not, “Kill me, kill me now, I am so fucking sick,” over and over again. We had a brand new pool in our apartment complex but we only used it once because of me being bloated and sick. I did not get any sun on my legs. At one point it got so hot in our apartment (with no AC and no breeze) we spent a lot of time on the floor in our living room willing the world to cool down a little bit. Oh, and we ate a lot of watermelon. Gobs of watermelon! One time we each ate 1 whole watermelon all by ourselves in 1 day! And then we peed every hour for the rest of the night.
In August we went to Mexico City for our godson’s first communion. It was a challenge with how sick I was, but it was also kind of amazing to rock the jet-setting-ness even while wanting to puke all of the time. Plus, I love love love Mexico City and my extended family there. They are some of my favorite people in one of my favorite cities of all time.
In September Kamel turned 30!! In October we went to Disneyland with Sarah and Jon and found out we were having a boy. (Not at the same time, of course.) And in November Kamel voted for the first time and I went to Vegas as an obviously-pregnant-woman for work for a week. It’s weird dodging and weaving the party people when you are growing a human and cannot partake AND needing to get up in the morning like usual… all at the HardRock.
In December I was up in Seattle for work, to be a pregnant bridesmaid in my best friend, Kathleen’s beautiful winter wedding, and for Christmas. I love Seattle SO much and being able to spend so much time there was a gift.
In January we finished our bedroom/nursery and then I waited. I waited and waited and got bigger and bigger and worked and waited some more. And then on March 8th Gabriel arrived! I had a baby and our family became 3. I traveled more than I ever thought I would as a pregnant lady, and survived some major yucks with pregnancy that I truly never anticipated. Labor was challenging, straightforward, magical, mind-blowing, and epic epicness… also something I never thought I would feel.
Being 27 was not at all as I expected. I knew that I wanted to get pregnant, but the reality of what that meant changed the year in ways I never anticipated. Honestly, being 27 started out with me feeling older than I should have, but now looking back I see that it wasn’t about feeling old or coming to terms with being in my “late twenties” – it was a discovery on how life keeps happening regardless. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant, I still had to get up every day and go to work. I had to come to terms with putting a few career-y things on hold, while finding other ways to push myself further with my day job. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant, my best friend needed me in her wedding and hot damn I was going to be there, we were summoned to Mexico City for our godson and we went. Family events occur, holidays, work travel, life. Though I said “no” a lot more than I ever had in previous years, it turns out that it doesn’t matter if you are sick or uncomfortable, life keeps happening anyway. My 27th year was about either showing up or letting life run you over. In my 27th year it wasn’t all grand adventures, it was about the small victories, about family, and about identifying the priorities worth showing up for.