Getting Back To The New Normal

Things here are slowly getting back to how they were before pregnancy… but also not. There is a new normal forming, the kind that has nothing to do with feeling sick or being exhausted. It has to do with having a new human in my life every single moment of the day, but it also doesn’t.

I am trying really hard to not make this blog a mom-only blog. There are so many of you who don’t even want kids and call me crazy but I want you to still feel like this is a place where you can hang out. And also – I feel like sinking into all things mom and baby, and only things mom and baby, would be too easy. It is currently all that my days are focused on (sort of), so it’s currently all I can think to write about (mostly), but where is the challenge in that?

So, beyond baby Gabe things here are feeling better and better as I emerge from pregnancy land. Two days ago I finally ordered the majority of books from my last book list. Yes, that list was made in August. No, I didn’t actually buy any of the books that we talked about. I was way too tired and way too motion sick on the train to do anything but grit my teeth (and then eventually I gave up on the train altogether and took to dry heaving on the side of the freeway while Kamel attempted to drive me to work). But now! In a few weeks! I will be beginning my old routine again and will be devouring those books (don’t worry, Maris, World War Z will be up first!) methodically and writing reviews/discussion of them. Hooray!! When i think about commuting alone on the train every day I actually get a rush of excitement. Time! To sit! Quietly! Anonymously! Without anyone poking at me or crying or needing something! Sweet sweet heaven.

Oh, and if I haven’t gotten back to your email, or returned your phone call or text – I am so sorry. I spend the majority of my day with only 1 free hand and when the baby is sleeping I take the opportunity to get some business done, run a load of laundry over to the laundry room, jump into a quick work out, etc etc. What I don’t do is sleep – even though that’s what everyone tells you to do. If I did that the house would fall into ruin, you would never ever hear from me, and I would live in a haze of naps and sore nipples. It is a scramble and a race against the clock when I do get the chance to do something without being strapped to baby, but I’m working on getting back to people! And I actually have true guilt multiple times a day over my lapse in responding.

I tried on my pre-pregnancy jeans and wow, it was a little sobering. It’s only been a month so I’m not overly concerned, but those puppies didn’t zip or button. Not even close. I did get them up over my butt and thighs though – so tiny victories. Thank you to the twitter ladies for giving me tips on future mom (but not mom) jeans. I’ll be doing another body check-in soon – I just need more time than I have to formulate that post, plus my thoughts (which are a little more conflicted than previously… spoiler alert).

In the near future I am very much looking forward to more Fooding With Flo, book reviews (ee!), the new addition of the Mom Files, and more Adventure-ing from me (and from you!… if you have any adventures you’d like to share please please email me!). It’s baby steps into this new life that looks so much like the old life with a few extra twists here and there, but I’m on the road.

19 thoughts on “Getting Back To The New Normal”

  1. One of the things I miss most about New York is the subway. Twin Cities public transportation is…not great. We have a bus system that kind of sucks, and they’re working on expanding the light rail but as of now it doesn’t run in St. Paul where I live.

    I live in the city, but work in the suburbs, which means I commute by car now. I like driving long distances, road trips, etc. But I hate the daily commute by car. I miss the subway!

  2. This is actually exactly the kind of post I needed to read today – the unknown of post-birth time freaks me out sometimes, so it’s really good to hear that there is a new normal on the horizon.

    Also, about those annoying pre-pregnancy jeans… I know I keep reading about new moms who shed all their pounds within a month of giving birth, but I suspect that it’s because the people who take a bit longer to get back into their jeans just aren’t talking about it. The truth is, it took my mom a year after each pregnancy to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight, but it did happen eventually. Just keeping it realistic, in case that helps. πŸ™‚

    1. Oh there totally is! The minute you’re not pregnant it all starts feeling better and better again!

      And the weight/pants thing … it’s weird. If I get down just 10 more lbs I will be within my comfort zone, especially for going back to work, but! my stomach and hips are still jiggly and stretched out. So I think THAT will take longer and it’s just kind of bizarro, but I’m watching it all like a little bit of an outsider. More on that later. πŸ™‚

  3. Oh I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Hopscotch. It is a long book and it can be dense, but it is one of my favorite books ever.
    And don’t worry, no matter what I will still read you (and I think most people will).
    Also, you are leading the way and showing us how it’s done πŸ™‚
    I know it’s not the same, but I totally get you on not wanting it to be a mom-and-baby blog all the time. The subfertility (infertility, hate the word) stuff is so overwhelming and all encompassing, that you think about it even when you don’t want to think about it because you are always either hoping or waiting. It’s very hard to forget about it when you are a rational girl who wants to understand everything. But I have made a point of trying to find other things to write about, sometimes I have to force myself not to focus on the hard bits. It has helped me a lot… noticing the other things, things that make me happy, things that I look forward to, things that make me me… You will get there. And I think everyone here loves Gabe πŸ™‚ He’s so funny.

    1. Yes yes yes! That’s exactly it! You don’t want to just be 1 thing, think about 1 thing, do just 1 thing. We are complicated people, but the loudest parts of our lives sometimes threaten to overtake everything else.

  4. “There are so many of you who don’t even want kids and call me crazy but I want you to still feel like this is a place where you can hang out.

    You’re not crazy, silly. In fact, as much as I’m okay with not wanting kids, biology says we *should* want them so who really is the “crazy” one here. (Actually, scratch that. No one is crazy in that weird crazy life changing choice.)

    I totally still feel like we can hang out. You’ve made it really clear that it’s not “mom” all the time here. You talk a lot about how you fit (or don’t fit) into your role as Gabe’s “mom” which falls into both mom blog land and non-mom blog land. I actually feel like I’m learning a lot about how to relate to new moms and how to let them breakout from the mom shell from reading. I can’t wait to hear more about how your life continues to branch in all directions–some completely unrelated to Gabe/mom-dom, some that are about the balancing act, and of course the good-the cute-the ugly about being a Mom/your adorable son.

  5. I just had a rush of fear that you might not like Cloud Atlas since you don’t always like the changing POV style. But I think the book is worth it, so I hope you give it a shot. I’m interested to hear about World War Z, too!

    1. Don’t worry too much! Kamel saw the movie and initially didn’t like it and then after thinking about it awhile he loved it. If it is complicated and interesting I’ll at least have an appreciation. And as long as it isn’t like Dan Brown POV switches with 2 page chapters, I think I’ll be ok. haha

  6. Two things:
    1. I COVET my bus commute time. Yes, it is sometimes smelly and annoying, but it is MINE and I can sink into a book, or my phone, or whatever.

    2. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” — I realize that’s probably sound advice, but I’ve never really understood it. How does one get anything done? How does, as you say, the house not fall into ruin? When the baby’s awake, doesn’t it need your attention? So how do you do anything for yourself?

    So many questions. Le infants are mysteries to me.

    1. I think I manage to nap with the baby MAYBE once a week. Maybe. But it is mostly never. I also feel happiest when I am juggling a lot of different tasks all at once, so I am most productive when I know I only have maybe 2 hours to do much of anything. AND we are lucky that our kid is a consistent sleeper, going 2.5-3.5 stretches at night on average. I am less zombie during the day than I was the first 2 weeks.

      1. I’m only managing to nap with baby every 2nd or 3rd day at the moment, and thats only because Mark is still home from work on leave, so domestic tasks are more balanced, PLUS, at less than 2 weeks in, I dont care that I haven’t gone for a walk yet.
        Plus, small skite, I’m down 10kg (22lb), and am managing to fit the larger of my pre-preggy jeans. Cant wait to fit the skinnier, prettier ones though!
        Enjoy your commuting πŸ™‚

  7. World War Z was awesome, and now i want to reread it before your review happens, I’m looking forward to seeing what you think of it.
    Another pants suggestion-Eddie Bauers curvy fit are amazing. I found them after gaining some weight and hating/not fitting most of my jeans. On sale they tend to be around $40, which is not too bad of a price, and totally worth it. The cords in particular I love.

  8. Be gentle on yourself about the pre-pregnancy jeans. You may find that even when you lose the extra weight, your body shape has changed, your style has changed, what you feel comfortable in has changed.

    Big life events send out ripples into other sometimes unexpected areas of your life. I stopped eating cucumber. I still can’t figure that one out.

  9. Personally, I would say don’t worry about turning into a mommy blogger– I don’t think you’re at risk for that. Your posts have always been about what you’re thinking about things, which to me is a very different vein from “Here’s what my kids did today!”* Pregnancy and new babies (especially when you’re still on maternity leave and getting used to a new person) are pretty all-consuming, so it makes sense that during this season in your life, those things are impacting your thoughts on a lot of things. But as time goes on and there are different seasons, you’ll naturally be writing about different things. I like hearing your thoughts about things as you go through and are impacted by different seasons of life, not in spite of them. Different readers will probably identify more with some posts than others, and that’s okay. Also, it is impressive that you have been able to keep writing through all these changes, much better to have your witty commentary on a narrower subject range than no posts at all!

    *[Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just a different kind of blog. Like CrappyPictures.com.]

  10. Lauren, a teacher friend at school told me something magical happens at 6 months and your body shrinks back up to normal. She said don’t even think about it, basically, until 6 months! I also have heard 9 months on and 9 months off…but knowing me (and I’m like you in this way), I’ll be ready to have my body back ASAP! You look amazing though! And I never tire of baby posts πŸ™‚

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