Last weekend we wandered around
hell Babies R Us trying to make sense of so many things. Breast milk storage? To cover or not to cover? (Oh my god this is a whole post that I am absolutely itching to write but I’ll wait until my boobs are needed for more than just my own amusement…) What kind of bottles do we need? Why is everything so expensive? Why does this box say these bottles are expired? DOES IT EVEN MATTER? WHERE AM I? OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME SIT DOWN!
And have you ever tried to find anything in
hell Babies R Us?! It makes no sense! They don’t adhere to any normal shopping order! Display cases for random diapers are on the ends of aisles labeled “bath time”. It’s an absolute nightmare, with swollen feet and a need for frequent snacking. Now, to be fair, the “R US” we were in was a hybrid “Toys R Us + Babies R Us” but you know what? I don’t really think they are identifying themselves correctly – they don’t seem all that savvy on the whole “we sell stuff for small humans to the people who make the small humans” thing.
We ended up buying, like, 2 things from there…. everything else was overpriced or we just couldn’t find it. While Kamel waited in a long ass line to buy the two things, I went outside and sat on the edge of a dry fountain because I could not be standing in that store for 1 more hot second or I was going to completely implode or lose a limb. When Kamel emerged from the automatic double doors he was wrestling with a giant receipt.
“Hey! We got a coupon for next time we come here!” he said.
“I never want to come here again, ever,” I said.
“20% off!” he said.
And we all know how Kamel is lured in by any kind of discount/deal/promotion. So we head over to Target to do the rest of our baby shopping and when we finally get home Kamel (who also saves every receipt and leaves them in piles all over the apartment or in big wads in his pockets) starts investigating this receipt coupon a little further. Turns out, this is a coupon for anything in the store except….
… ya know, anything you would ever want to buy for your new baby EVER!
Babies R Us…. I am so grateful that I never ever ever have to go back to you ever again. Target, you are my baby-supply store now. And please forgive me for ever doubting your awesomeness. I should be ashamed.