The Fine Print

Last weekend we wandered around hell Babies R Us trying to make sense of so many things. Breast milk storage? To cover or not to cover? (Oh my god this is a whole post that I am absolutely itching to write but I’ll wait until my boobs are needed for more than just my own amusement…) What kind of bottles do we need? Why is everything so expensive? Why does this box say these bottles are expired? DOES IT EVEN MATTER? WHERE AM I? OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME SIT DOWN!

And have you ever tried to find anything in hell Babies R Us?! It makes no sense! They don’t adhere to any normal shopping order! Display cases for random diapers are on the ends of aisles labeled “bath time”. It’s an absolute nightmare, with swollen feet and a need for frequent snacking. Now, to be fair, the “R US” we were in was a hybrid “Toys R Us + Babies R Us” but you know what? I don’t really think they are identifying themselves correctly – they don’t seem all that savvy on the whole “we sell stuff for small humans to the people who make the small humans” thing.

We ended up buying, like, 2 things from there…. everything else was overpriced or we just couldn’t find it. While Kamel waited in a long ass line to buy the two things, I went outside and sat on the edge of a dry fountain because I could not be standing in that store for 1 more hot second or I was going to completely implode or lose a limb. When Kamel emerged from the automatic double doors he was wrestling with a giant receipt.

“Hey! We got a coupon for next time we come here!” he said.

“I never want to come here again, ever,” I said.

“20% off!” he said.

 20% Off

And we all know how Kamel is lured in by any kind of discount/deal/promotion. So we head over to Target to do the rest of our baby shopping and when we finally get home Kamel (who also saves every receipt and leaves them in piles all over the apartment or in big wads in his pockets) starts investigating this receipt coupon a little further. Turns out, this is a coupon for anything in the store except….

20% off coupon

… ya know, anything you would ever want to buy for your new baby EVER!

Babies R Us…. I am so grateful that I never ever ever have to go back to you ever again. Target, you are my baby-supply store now. And please forgive me for ever doubting your awesomeness. I should be ashamed.

19 thoughts on “The Fine Print”

  1. I cant stand the exclusions!! Target is the best! I live in a danger zone (close enough to Target I can through a baseball into the parking lot. Dangerous!) Love their Up & Up diapers (aaaaand pretty much everything else in that store). The generic supreme diapers from hell are my absolute favorites, but they’re not a deal unless their on sale. That would be the only time I go to hell (ha). Plus, hell is a lot further from my home 🙂 i also really like for baby stuff. So easy to shop online with a little one!

    1. Yes! Because buying them can be a pretty big investment if you are only going to use them for a little while. There is also the risk it won’t work out, babies can be finicky and life can take over and make nursing really really hard.

      1. Ok this is quite good timing but i JUST heard this Planet Money podcast about how breast pumps are covered in the new health care initiative!! So it seemed like a prescription….for a copay you could get a really nice one.

  2. Whatthefuck??? Gah. I hate shit like that. Babies R Us ranks right up there with BB&B for me.
    When we were in the hell of wedding registry stuff we were returning some sheets that were torn when we opened them (??) and while I was waiting in the longest most annoying line ever, listening to all their team members scream into those gd walkie talkies they carry around I hear a mouse die in a trap next to me.
    I haven’t been back.

  3. I always ignore those coupons-on-the-receipt except for CVS. Because at CVS they actually give you X dollars pretty much straight-up. I’ve obtained free milk and free toothpaste several times this way.

  4. 1. Babies r’ us IS hell. 2. If you buy a pump it may very well be tax deductible (!!!). 3. Nursing can be hard, but so worth it. You can always call your hospital and talk with an LC (lactation consultant) nurse. 4. As far as covers go (or not) that’s all you mama, you’ll figure out what’s comfy for you & baby Gabe. 🙂

  5. Babies R Us (BRU) is terrible! I find Buy Buy Baby (BBB) to be less hell-ish, though no less pricey (but they take their own + Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons…with exceptions). I at least find BBB staff members to not be complete idiots, in fact I find them helpful at times (unlike BRU).

  6. I’ve never been to Babies R Us, but I remember Toys R Us scaring the crap out of me, so I’m filing this post away for future reference and avoiding BRU like the plague.

  7. I was just at a ToysRUs/BabiesRUs a few days ago, not only do they not carry very common stroller brands but they didn’t have ANY baby care books. What sort of baby store doesn’t sell books on how to care for a baby? I definitely won’t be going back either!
    We have had really great success with Amazon lately! I love that I can read all the reviews on a product before I buy it and with the Amazon Prime we get free 2-day shipping. AND their prices always beat any other store ALWAYS!

  8. I notice the voucher is also only valid for a few days – I need at least a fortnight to recover enough to want to go back.

    I concur with the others about Target – it’s been awesome for keeping our incredibly large and incredibly fast growing boy in clothes. We ended up buying their entire collection of brightly coloured $6 onesies – and he slept in those from birth until he topped out of their sizes. They’ve also just added an extra size to the baby clothes range (in Australia at least) so they now go up to 18-24 months on quite a few of their clothes. We also have a small stack of their cellular cotton blankets, which worked well for our bub during winter in our unheated house.

    In terms of the whole breastfeeding thing – I reckon pumping is the hardest option of all the choices (we pumped for 3 months after persisting with breastfeeding and getting nowhere for 8 weeks). It’s the most complicated, the most time-consuming and sometimes the most dispiriting and humiliating option as well. If that’s what you end up doing, make sure you tag team with Kamel at night so he can feed the bub with the last bottle of expressed milk and put him back to bed while you’re pumping for the next one. If you’re always one or a few ahead, the whole thing goes so much faster.

  9. Holy exclusions! That’s nuts. I always cheer a little bit when a favourite place gives me a coupon on a receipt (that’s how I get a lot of my crafting supplies 50% off – buy something for like $5 and get a coupon for 50% on my next item the week after) but it makes just NO sense to exclude 90% of your inventory from the coupon.

    Other than the exclusions I get where it’s a good marketing strategy do have the coupon time sensitive, just in that if a company is often giving those out they are getting a lot of repeat business.

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