This is Kamel. He sometimes writes on Saturdays.
A while ago Lauren asked me to write a post about becoming a dad, similar to her post about becoming a mom. The first draft I wrote up was awful so it went unpublished. Why? Because it wasn’t really that thought out and it really didn’t talk about what I feel about entering this new stage in our lives. (And this really pissed off Lauren.) But then I realized why. It’s because I’m not there yet.
Lauren has already started becoming a mom. From the moment she became pregnant, she was already going through major changes. She was already taking care of the baby. She has had way more experience with this than I have, and the baby isn’t even born yet. I haven’t changed yet. I’m still the same old me. My body isn’t getting bigger (except it is, but in the post holiday noms kind of way) and I don’t have a surge of hormones going through my body. But most importantly I have no physical connection or responsibility directly related to the baby just yet. My time as a dad has not started.
Big changes have come for me in lots of other areas. But those are mostly the spouses’ standard issue duties. Taking care of the wife, making sure she is always comfortable (she never is), making sure all appointments are scheduled, bills paid, house kept clean, etc… So in my mind, I’m way more positive about the incoming baby. I feel like we are ready to be badass parents, something I’ve always thought about. I know (I’m totally just guessing really) that when the baby comes, Lauren will get all her energies back and with the two of us in care mode, we will rock this shit. But really, I have no idea what will happen. That’s a little scary.
My worries are somewhat different that Lauren’s. I worry the delivery won’t go as planned. I worry her or the baby will get hurt. I worry that scheduling guests to visit post baby might get a little wonky due to the complete unpredictability of a baby’s birth. But I’m not as worried about the “dad” things now.
I’m betting that once the baby is out, and I can hear him, see him, smell him, and touch him, the “dad” in me will kick in and everything will be different. The majority of the feelings Lauren has been having for months, will now be better understood by me. My body and mind will go into “shit just got real” mode. I know this will happen. It has to.
I’m really excited about becoming a dad. I honestly can’t wait. I feel like we’ve been talking about so many things, making so many plans and doing our own thing to become pretty good parents that now I am ready to start. I just can’t wait to see our son.