All during pregnancy I have heard two things: Once the first trimester is over the sickness will magically lift and I will be free from the burden of the yucks! AND the 6 month is the best month ever! It is when you feel the best, you look pregnant, but you aren’t insanely ginormous. Once the first trimester ended and I was still pulling over on the side of the highway on my way to work so that I wouldn’t puke in the car, I stopped believing anyone who ever told me anything. (Check out my montage below!)
Here are my truths:
- It is true that I am much less pukey, but I still have sick days where I am gritting my teeth on the way to work and we have to stop at McDonalds to get two hash browns (true story).
- It is convenient to finally for reals look pregnant when I have been for reals FEELING pregnant from the very beginning.
- Sometimes Gabe has some righteous growth spurts and my stomach and muscles and full torso body bits go through some big stretches. When this happens it is really painful for me. It is very uncomfortable to sit for long periods and very uncomfortable to walk for any amount of time. It is a feeling that I cannot explain except for maybe feeling like I’m going to burst open… or I have the compulsion to hold my stomach up because the bottom parts feel overly burdened.
- At 24 weeks I had gained 22 lbs. This number does not particularly bother me, but I do marvel at how easy it was to pack it on.
- Baby Gabe is the length of an ear of corn and weighs between 1 and 2 pounds. If he were to be born today he would most likely survive with the help with ventilators and hospital magic.
- Sometimes he is lounging length-wise across my stomach and he pokes me on either side simultaneously. Sometimes he is vertical along my torso and stomps or punches my cervix (but it feels like he is doing a freaking jig on my vagina… which, let me tell you, is a little shocking when someone vagina punches you while you are minding your own business at work.) and kicks at me right below my boobs.
- I did not suddenly regain all of my energy. I still need as many naps as I can get, and I still crave bedtime at 8-9 pm. I am easily worn out and if I do too much, my body shuts down for me.
Is this the easiest month? (Me at 6 months pictured above) I don’t know. Not feeling hungover every moment of every day is a perk, yes. But there are new weird symptoms. The soreness is definitely difficult. And I’ve had more stomach aches that only time can cure. That is very inconvenient esp at work or when I was shopping for baby stuff with my parents. I am also losing my ability to bend over. Not that I can’t, but it is just really uncomfortable and I am not as limber as I used to be when I had a waste.
Sometimes I forget that I am pregnant. I go along my little life doing my thing and then I realize: Oh yeah, I’m pregnant. Like when I went on a booze run and asked the clerk if they had any hard A at this particular Walgreens. That possibly looks a little odd, but it doesn’t even occur to me in the moment. Or during my trip in Vegas when co-workers were stressed about me walking back to my hotel by myself. I couldn’t figure out why they cared so much, it was a 10 minute walk and it’s really not that big of a deal. And then one of them blurted out, “You’re pregnant! We have to take care of you!” Oh right… that.
I identify as a married lady (I guess), and I identify as Lauren, as a creative person, as a complicated lady. I don’t see myself as old, but I could definitely fall right into the Mom roll in a heart beat. I’m already sacrificing my daily existence for this kid of mine. But identifying as pregnant? It’s weird. It’s more complicated than it seems from the outside. To look at me it seems obvious, and the way I feel seems obviously pregnant, but my self view from the inside out is totally 100% not pregnant. I’m just me. And I just happen to feel like crap because of this creature taking up space inside my body. But pregnant? Who’s that? Oh right. Me.