Real Life Conversations: Old Lady Underpants

I was resting on the couch yesterday while Kamel was making dinner. I had hit a wall earlier in the day after cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, and running errands. Pow pow pow productivity! When Kamel came out to check on me.

Kamel: You know… I really wish I had a big girdle…

I turned to look at him, waiting for the joke.

Kamel: … so that I could make tons of pancakes.

I thought for a second. Girdle. Girdle. Like, so he could eat more? And still keep his girlish figure? Why does the girdle have to be big? Maybe he is talking about a man-sized girdle? Like man-spanks? Where did he get the term girdle?

Then I had a light bulb moment, all while Kamel is looking at me expectantly for a response.

Me: You mean griddle? A flat service you cook things on?

Kamel: Yeah, what did I say?

Me: Girdle. Like the control top underpants my grandmothers used to wear.

Kamel: Don’t put this on the internet, Lauren.


  1. Yeah, please don’t put it! Hahahahaha

  2. Baaaaahahahaahha!! You guys totally just made my morning!! Thats the best. :)

  3. This is amazing. You should *make* a joke about girdles and needing a really big one in the style of yo’ momma jokes. Yo’ girdle so big, you can eat a hundred pancakes and still look like you’re wearing a girdle. ? maybe not

  4. Thank you for putting this on the internet, Lauren.

  5. I do that ALL THE TIME, mixing up those two words. When I read your post and since I’m a TERRIBLE speller I thought you were writing “griddle” from the beginning. (Hopefully that makes Kamel feel better….) :)

  6. Hahahaha! Thanks for putting this on the Internet Lauren, totally made my morning!

  7. HAHAHAH!!! If I got paid for every time James said, “Don’t put this on the internet, Christy.” I’d be rich. :) hehehe. Glad I’m not alone! ;)

  8. This is hilarious!!! I love it :) I wish that girdles meant we actually eat MORE griddle pancakes. That would sell better than spanks. It would sell like hotcakes. OH I COULD GO ON.

  9. HAHAHAHA this made my morning. i needed this.

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Who the hell is she?


I am a writer living in Seattle and I believe that life is a grand adventure and only boring if you believe it to be. Plus! You don't need money to have fun.

I live with my husband, a photographer by education and a maker-of-video-games by trade, and a baby named gabe in an apartment on the hill.

I am romantic about most things and I cry... about almost anything. I tell stories to entertain you, I spread stories to keep you in the loop. I am not a grammar freak, but I do know how to spell it. I am exceedingly proud of my scrambled eggs and I really could eat an entire pan of cupcakes. If I met me, I would be my best friend. I tend to be irreverent.

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.