Having too much of a good thing is a real, honest to goodness, self inflicted disease. I am currently in the grips of it. I feel like a shell of myself. My depth of content is thin, and I mean that in the big picture way. Not just with what I’m writing, although, let’s be honest about that as well. All the output and input functions are on minimal energy flow. I’m going green, reserving resources.
I’m not as funny anymore. I know, you gasped. I’m coming to grips with it myself. I don’t have the capacity for humor. I have the capacity only for eating, writing, working, and sleeping. And doing the constant flow of laundry that I have to find time for during the week since my weekends have been reserved with a big sign reading: Fun Only, Goddamnit.
The Too Much Of A Good Thing disease is often brought on by my Inability To Say No problem. But the truth is: I don’t WANT to say no, I want to do ALL the things! I want to sign up for every class (Literally yesterday I asked Kamel if I could learn to play the drums. He laughed at me, not because I can’t, but because… REALLY? More things?), I want to go to all the events, all the get-togethers, and then! I want to invite and throw activities in order to keep my social balance. I want to invite you to dinner! I want to have you over for drinks, for a cheese party, I want to go with you to that thing, and we should totally go shopping, for lunch, to a movie. All of the above. Hell, let’s do it all twice!
Until I barf.
Or have mad vertigo at work.
Or drag my sorry ass home and demand to be put to bed at 7PM.
Or have a meltdown because I can’t decide what to watch on TV.
I’m like… a sad trial run of a rockstar. I’m not good at the rockstar life… my physical being is incapable of it. But I never remember this and sign up for it all! 28 hours in Seattle for Maris’s Bach party? YES! The next weekend flying to Vegas on Thursday after work, with a 6am flight leaving on Sunday? Sign me up! All the things! All the things!
System malfunction. Forced shut down. Incapable of catch up, an empty shell. In need of cuddles and someone to stroke my hair. The volunteer list is wide open.
In May I’ll be unavailable. Except for the wedding of the year, and some swiggity sweet hot air ballooning. But after that, I swear, I’ll nap.
(Until then, please forgive me for any late emails or late projects I haven’t returned to you. I promise, I’ll get there. I will.)