Saturday Edition: JUMBO BUCKS!

After a brief hiatus, Kamel is back with Saturday Editions! Weee!

Hola! Hoy es Sábado, y eso solo significa uno cosa! Es hora de mi edición para el blog de Lauren! Esta vez voy a escribirlo todo en español! jajaja (hasta mi risa sera en español).

Just kidding. Post for reals:

Every now and then Lauren and I walk down to the liquor store and buy two scratch tickets. I know… tax for the stupid, but hey, it’s fun! And unlike regular lotto, we win a few dollars every now and then. Sure, we end up using our winnings to buy more tickets (Lauren Edit: And candy), but at least they were free.

A few weeks ago, on an average evening, we find ourselves at the liquor store buying two scratch tickets yet again. When we got home, Lauren set the tickets on the table, one for me and one for her, and we begin to scratch it. The game is called Jumbo Bucks and the rules are simple: You uncover the 4 numbers at the top. Then you uncover 16 numbers below. If any of those 16 match any of the 4, you automatically win whatever value is listed under that number. So in theory, you could win 16 prizes.

We have a specific way of doing this where we uncover the 4, and then one by one we reveal the 16 numbers. BUT we do not reveal the prizes unless we have a winning number. Even then, we do not uncover the prize until we’ve finished with the whole card. This helps out when we lose, cos we never know “what could’ve been.”

Anyways, back to the story. We sit down on the couch and we each start scratching our own cards like a couple of 75 year old retirees. I uncover my 4 numbers, and begin uncovering the possible matches. The 1st was not a winner. But then this happens:

2nd Number – Me: “I win!” Lauren: “What? already?” Me: “Yeah! I’ll keep going…”

3rd Number – Me: “I win” Lauren: “…okay?”

4th Number – Me: “I win again!” Lauren: “uh….”

5th Number – Me: “I win! Again!” Lauren: “hmm…. Okay” (At this point I think two things are happening with her. The first is she is upset she is not the one winning (Lauren Edit: Ha! Only a little true.) and the second is she’s trying to accept the fact that it’s probably not a big win even though deep down she secretly is wishing these are $100,000 wins (Lauren Edit: This one is very true.))

Numbers 6-9 didn’t match, but when I uncovered number 10…. Me: “I WIN AGAIN?”

11th Number – Me: “Lauren…. I win again.”

12th Number – Me: “Okay so I won again, BUT I’m 99% certain these are just $1 wins so don’t get excited okay?” Lauren: “Okay, I won’t. I mean I’m not.” (But secretly she thought, “Well, maybe $100 wins?”)

13th Number no win. I have 3 left.

Numbers 14, 15 and 16 – Me: “I win the last three!” Lauren: “Oh… I didn’t win any. Let’s see the big reveal!”

At this point we are both a little freaked out because, who wins this many times on a scratch card, right? Are we going to be cashing in big? Are we gonna pay back our student loans? (Sad that we think about paying back those instead of saying, “Yay free vacation to Bora Bora!”) But snap back to reality. (Lauren Edit: Whoop, there goes gravity.) I assure Lauren that it’s just $1 wins, which would be $10 total. Not bad since these cards are $5 each. She said, “Shut up and uncover it already!”

I uncovered one by one, and sure enough they were $1 wins. But the whole thing was kind of amazing. We were way richer for about 5 minutes, in our minds.

We cashed it in a few weeks later and bought new cards, kit-kats, a dove bar, diet cokes and probably a slim jim. We’re old people.

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