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Flashback *Friday: @ Work

Sometimes on Fridays I take a break from thinking up stories and interesting tidbits to share and delve into my currently unpublished blog that goes all the way back to Nov of 2006.

I realize it isn’t Friday, but I’ve been missing the flashbacks lately. Another rock climbing update will post tomorrow, but for today I found this flashback from March 1, 2007, on a topic I’ve am STILL fixated on. All of the weird, ridiculous situations we find ourselves in at work. The situations we shrug our shoulders at and try to ignore, when in reality… they are WEIRD. 

So I’m at work with nothing to do… I’ve finished my to-do list in three hours and my boss is at lunch so I’m just twiddeling my thumbs for a bit. So blog it is! There are a few things that I think about writing while I’m at work and then I forget by the time I get home, so I figured while i’m here why not?

Bathrooms to me are always fascinating places and the bathroom on the 17th floor of Pike Tower is no less fascinating than Green street’s bathroom or any other I have frequented on a daily basis. Basically, the bathroom experience at work is incredibly socailly awkward. And I mean: the most awkward bathroom I have ever been in ever. There are only a handful of girls on the floor so chances are you are most likely the only person using it at any given time.

But sometimes… the horrible times… there are other girls in there and in this situation this is what you will discover: The bathroom is deathly silent. You can even hear the ever-so-slight buzzing of all the automated sensors (water, soap, flush, etc). So you walk into a stall and it’s obvious when you are peeing, and even more obvious when you are not. I feel like I walk into a hypersensitivity chamber when I open that door. All of a sudden every move I make is audible. And because of this, everyone who walks in or who is walked in upon, is now INCREDIBLY PAINFULLY self-conscious. Probably the worst thing to be in a public bathroom. I’m a little saddened I can’t go more indepth into the weirdness of this one particular bathroom, but I have only been there three weeks and ive already compiled quite the list of weird stories, stories I will be sharing at another blog time.

So I work at a software company. A bluetooth software company. I’m surrounded everyday by very smart people. People who maybe aren’t smarter than me, but smarter in a different way than me. I’m sure I could write them into a corner, but they can wire me into a cyborg, so I think they win. Well the actual story is: The Fax here is a piece of shit. So one of my jobs last week or the week before was to order a new fax, and order I did. One of the things I’m a pro at is online shopping. It arrived all new and plastic. The office was excited, you could just feel it in the air. Well the fax wouldn’t FAX. It would recieve but nothing would fax out.

So last week I was in charge of fixing the problem…. in a room full of computer engineers… me…. fix the problem.

So i’m researching online, on hold with the tech people from the fax company, trying to follow their instructions over the phone like a mentally disabled monkey, etcetc. Turns out our machine is broken, they will ship us a new one. Fast forward to today (thurs of the week after) and we still don’t have a new working fax, just the old one that we had to re-plug in and the new one sitting in its box on my desk where I put it for safe keeping. So now I’m back on the phone, on hold for 45 min, then the guy tells me our re-order was canceled, that “we have to further prove that the fax is REALLY broken so please ma’am take it out of the box and plug it in, but you can only put me on hold for three min because we’re on a timer and after 3 minutes you self destruct the phone will hang up… so go.”

Holy Shit, talk about PRESSURE. I felt like I was on the Price is Right and by golly I was gonna get myself to the big spin! So I get it plugged in (in record time) and it won’t even turn on! It stays in standby. Two “on holds” later, the guy tells me that we can NOW process the order for a replacement and it should show up next week. But I swear to God I really hope it does… cuz I can’t TAKE another phone session with the fine people at Brother down in memphis Tennessee. No sir. I cannot

So this is my job, in all of its ridiculousness. And aren’t you lucky that I pay attention enough to share my insight? Ha.

*Sometimes I cringe at past me trying to be funny. Like when you see video of yourself as a 13 year old and in the video you think you are hot shit but then looking back you realize how much of an IDIOT you were! But at the same time it’s kind of endearing, like I want to hug her and tell her to shut up, but that I love her anyway. Also, the company I was an admin for put the blue tooth tech into the first iphone. And then I got into grad school and quit that job. And then a few months later they sold the company and everyone except a few engineers lost their jobs right before Christmas. Things have a funny way of working out.

3 Comments

  1. I love the (non)sense that is made by having a non-techie person handle the fact that a machine is broken when said non-techie person is surrounded by techno-brains.

  2. I love the person back there just as much as the person now. You were so funny then and your humor has just grown with age. Thanks for the Thursday LOL….
    DB

  3. Oh adminy days! I know the feeling. The myriad of weird stories that ONLY can come from that office. And the different personalities. I’m finding my way around a new version of that SOUP right now. Its fasincating, to say the least!

    ps: you were funny, dont worry!

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Who the hell is she?


Lauren

I am a writer living in Seattle and I believe that life is a grand adventure and only boring if you believe it to be. Plus! You don't need money to have fun.

I live with my husband, a photographer by education and a maker-of-video-games by trade, and a baby named gabe in an apartment on the hill.

I am romantic about most things and I cry... about almost anything. I tell stories to entertain you, I spread stories to keep you in the loop. I am not a grammar freak, but I do know how to spell it. I am exceedingly proud of my scrambled eggs and I really could eat an entire pan of cupcakes. If I met me, I would be my best friend. I tend to be irreverent.

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.


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