Bread Guy: Update

So, last night as I was walking to switch my laundry… our lovely downstairs neighbor was out having a (scentless?) smoke break. And I did not disappoint you by avoiding the confrontation… here’s how it went down:

Him: Hey

Me: Hey, so… what’s up with the bread? (I obviously am cutting right to the chase as I act super nonchalant in sweat pants and Kamel’s shoes)

Him: Oh, nothing… I just had a lot to eat this week.

Me: So you put it on the floor?

Him: … yeah. Are you guys going out tonight?

Me: No. [motion to my sweatpants] I’m doing laundry.

And then I walked passed him.

And my head exploded because it turns out … dude is just a clueless, self-centered jerk face, who I wasted my precious baked goods on. Never again.

Next week I’m hosting a giveaway (eeeee my first!!) worth $350 smacks. And this has me thinking that maybe I should ship some baked goods to someone who would actually appreciate it.

Also, since the incident yesterday evening this is what the conversations between Kamel and I look like:

Kamel: Hey Lauren!

Me: …. he just… didn’t feel like eating it!

Kamel: You’re still thinking about this?

Me: YES!!

*Also – to everyone who sent me a recipe exchange chain – I am SO SORRY for not participating. I really meant to, I did. But then… I’m just so effing busy you guys. I apologize.

22 thoughts on “Bread Guy: Update”

  1. I admit, given your hints last night, that I thought the confrontation ended in a fist fight battle. But I guess this is still pretty good. (Um, and I would eat a loaf of homemade challah in about 3 seconds, especially if it was as beautiful as the loaf you made rude dude. 🙂 )

  2. OMG I can’t believe you said something to him! You have no idea how excited I got when I read ‘Bread Guy: Update’ in my reader.

    Tell Kamel I’m still thinking about it to. And I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU.

  3. “Are you guys going out tonight?”

    like he was going to maybe meet up with you and have a drink? I totally don’t understand this guy.
    My “Midwestern Nice” mind is being completely blown by these exchanges.

  4. my mind…is blown. Him: “I just had a lot to eat this week.”

    what?

    i’d love some baked goods, especially of the challah kind- i think that would be an excellent giveaway.

    and seriously lauren, it’s not my neighbor or my bread, and i still can’t believe it.

  5. I really want to punch this dude. He left leftover bread on your floor? When he could have just thrown it out? And now takeout boxes?! What is wrong with this man! Call the landlord!!!! AHHHH!!!

  6. Hi Lauren, love the blog. I felt the need to comment on the overwhelmingly negative reaction to “The Bread Guy” incident. When I first read the post, I had a slightly different take. He said he would eat the bread for breakfast. From the picture, he did slice off some of the bread and likely ate it. Is it possible that he didn’t think the gift was the entire loaf and rather just what he needed? Is it possible that he didn’t think he could finish the loaf before it went bad and, therefore, thought you and the hubby might? A preservation of resources? I think it is also key to note that he didn’t throw the bread away. And, if he wanted to be an ass you’d think he would have torn off chunks like a wild animal rather than neatly slicing off what he needed. Just my thoughts…

    1. see, that had occurred to me, but then why put it on the floor? would would eat it off the floor? if he thought he was only getting gifted a few slices (but if so, why wouldn’t lauren just give him some slices) why wouldn’t he ring the doorbell and return it in a way that would allow for the bread to be eaten by others?

      1. Wasn’t properly socialized as a child? Was in a hurry? I feel like adding excessive meaning to the returned bread is likely inconsistent with the way this guy (and probably most guys) thinks.

  7. I am just totally creeped out by the fact that he asked if you were going out that night. Why? So that he could leave more food by your door to find when you got home? Or so that he could come with you guys since obviously you want to be friends? Either way, Creepy McCreepsville, if you ask me. I would avoid alerting him to your whereabouts as much as possible.

  8. O.K. Keep the Fuc% away from this dud. He is nuts, crazy and a bit weird. Bread guy is not someone you want to play with. Stay away. Don’t engage and don’t keep any amount of eye contact with someone like him…. You know I know what I am talking about. I am married to your mother and you know what that means….. She keeps me from bring home strange people and dogs. She knows that people like that need to not be with us normals.

    Love you tons.
    DB

  9. Maybe he thought it was like pot bread? And then it wasn’t?

    Sorry, I’ve never had neighbors who weren’t huge stoners.

    But major kudos to you for asking. Nicely done.

  10. This neighbor of yours sounds incredibly strange. Gifted bread, partially eaten, and returned on the floor? So confusing. This guy will now suffer the wrath of smelling freshly baked goods, never to sample them again. I think that is pain enough – fresh bread smell gets me salivating when I’m just thinking of the scent!

    Kudos to you and Kamel for extending some hospitality to a neighbor.

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