You guys said it was easy peasy. You said everyone was doing it, “Lauren… c’mon… you’re gonna love it!”
(Just look at all that sugar! And did you ever think you could actually up and buy actual corn syrup? To use in your house? Like delicious, delicious crack?)
“Just try it once!” you said.
(It said to oil and sprinkle powdered sugar evenly on the pan, I don’t have a sifter so I attempted this method… meaning no method at all.)
(… and then I got wise.)
And then Jenn, my supplier, sent me gelatin because it was the one ingredient I was seriously weirded out buying. Which later I realized was dumb because … hello… j-e-ll-o. (It’s aliiiiive.)
So, as it has been quite a hiatus in the kitchen, I figured a no-bake item was up next. And marshmallows it was! (The crowd goes wild!)
I used the mallow recipe from smitten kitchen. And, I have to admit – the only thing I do pre-mixing/chopping/dicing/slicing is read the ingredients list. If I have most of it, if I know what most of it is, then we’re good to go.
This meant I spent a lot of time running back and forth between the kitchen and my kitchen hubub, to the dining room table where my computer sat, primed on the recipe page.
(thank you for the apron Sarah!)
This is the most scienc-y thing I’ve ever made. I mixed, I used a thermometer, I mixed something until it turned into something else, AND …. I made meringue by hand.
Well, I attempted to make meringue by hand (because I don’t have a hand-held mixer and my kitchen aid was busy making… mallow). Which meant whisking…
and asking Kamel to take turns whisking lest my arm fall right off.
It didn’t get to the full on meringue state, but fuck. I did the best I could. This is one of the things I may have done wrong… it was supposed to be able to hold “peaks”… and, well, no. But it was white and fluffy?
I just went with it. And as I was whipping the shit out of the egg whites, the sugar and gelatin were fluffing into a frenzy.
A delicious, delicious sugar filled frenzy.
Beware, the next two photos are graphic. And as Kamel kept saying, “that just looks wrong, Lauren.”
Yeah, that’s right. I so went there. And you would have too. Nomnomnom.
Oh yeah, that’s some quality fluff right there. Who wants a fluffer nutter sandwich? This girl!
So, after sugaring the top, and making a huge fucking mess, I stuck the whole thing in the fridge and went to bed. This morning! I woke up at 530am and poked at Kamel, repeatedly declaring, “Mallows! Mallows! Mallows!”
I got a cutting board, and I ran a knife around the edge of the mallow sheet.
And then I used my hands to get it unstuck from the bottom. The oil-ing and powder-sugaring I had done the night before had worked just fun, it all came out with out ripping.
And then I powder-sugared the other side. I have to admit, I was kind of concerned about the little pools of oil I could see all around the edges. But I hoped the powdered sugar would soak it up? Or something?
So here’s the deal… they are kind of… moist. Like you know how regular mallows are dry? Like you can handle them and they won’t get on you? And you can kind of bite and pull on them? That might just mean that they are old and gross, but this is what I’m used to. These, are not like that. They are… wet. And kind of remind me of a dry flan.
And they are seriously, seriously sweet. And that’s saying something coming from the cookie/candy queen of the WORLD.
But they taste really good. And even though making them was rather stressful, and i worried and fretted and still feel like maybe I messed up with the egg whites and that’s why they are kind of wet and weird, I feel like 1) they didn’t rip 2) they taste good and 3) the texture kind of freaks me out, but maybe other people will enjoy.