Sometimes on Fridays I take a break from thinking up stories and interesting tidbits to share and delve into my currently unpublished blog that goes all the way back to Nov of 2006.
This is from January 26, 2007. With all of my past lives talk this week, this is so incredibly perfect, and I am very grateful I found it on my first try while reading through archives. I want to print this out in big letters and tape it to every wall in every room of my house… although that would probably be a tid bit creeps. So maybe I’ll just keep it here and make it easy to reference. Key words: Bad day, hope, worth, joy, beauty, female form, love.
On my way to bed tonight…yes at 10 o’clock… yes I feel like I’m in high school…. I saw myself in the mirror as I was brushing my teeth. My hair in a bun, all messy from watching greys anatomy on the couch, the left side of my face red from the pillows, my shirt all wrinkled and my completely swollen and very sore breasts (from pms) staring at me through my two t-shirts (yes I said it). I also saw that I didn’t floss today and that I’m unemployed and when people ask me what I did today I say nothing and mean it. And I hate when people ask that question. I see anxiety. A person who is sometimes difficult to be around, who shuts people out and needs to be alone when at the same time desperately needs people. I see a girl who is still insecure even though she fakes it as much as she can, someone who lives inside her own head most of the time, who is creative and sometimes misunderstood. I saw hips and stomach and arms that she has always thought were too flabby of all things.
And I saw someone absolutely 100% worth loving. Worth making babies with, worth traveling across the world for, worth flowers just because and sticky notes on the mirror in the morning, worth long drawn out messages from her friends just because they just had to tell her blahblahblah, worth an education and worth the opportunity to really show what she can do with her life.
I’m worth that. Me. With all of my flaws.
And you know what else? So are they. And so are you. Every single day we worth giving and receiving that.
Sometimes its just nice to be reminded.