Now that my very first house party as come and gone I have some thoughts. You are not shocked by this are you? Because this is why you’re here. You live for this shit (ok maybe that’s a little strong, but hey – I give you that 5 minutes of distraction while you’re at work and that’s good enough for both of us).
First – prepping a party is amazing for two things: cleaning your house and finally getting to those projects you’ve been putting off for months. You could eat off my bathroom floor if you wanted to. Also, I dare you to try and find some dust. You won’t, because it’s not there. We are a dust free zone! At least until next week.
Second – there is nothing like the possibility of a lot of people coming over to your house to immediately turn you into your mothers. As I hurriedly changed the hand towels that were hanging in our bathroom 15 minutes before we expected people over was the exact moment I realized it: there is no escaping the cleanliness neurosis I experienced growing up.
“People are coming?! Where’s my Dyson!”
(My parents have a Dyson… it really doesn’t ever lose suction, I swear.)
And third, I have some Lauren Approved Party Guests Rules to Live By (So As To Avoid Being a Total A-Hole):
… I promise these will come in handy…
- It’s totally ok to RSVP “No” to an invitation (E-invite or real life paper invite or even word of mouth invite). If you don’t think you’re going to make it, or you just don’t feel like making the trek… say no. It’s helpful for the host so they don’t spend $100+ on booze when they really just need 2 bottles of wine and a 6 pack.
- Please RSVP in general, instead of never responding (which I have been guilty of in the past, and I promise from now on I will NEVER DO AGAIN). It’s really annoying and makes me feel like a nag when I have to ask, “so, uh, do you think you might be coming? no? yes? I really don’t mind either way! I mean, no pressure or anything, I just wanted to check in with you… thanks.” No one wants to be in that situation.
- Let’s all remember that if you don’t think you can make the full time commitment of a party, it’s totally acceptable to drop in for 1-2 hours. Stop in, say hi, hang out for a bit and then take off. This isn’t a sleep over, you’re not in it for the long haul. So if you have other things to do, or are tired, or just don’t feel like being around a ton of people but have already said yes to going, suck it up and make an appearance. The hosts will really appreciate the effort.
- If you’ve said yes to going to a party (function, soiree, what have you), and you suddenly can’t make it the day of, let the hosts know before the start of the party. 3+ hours after the party has started is too late, and you look like a jerk.
- And! For the love of God! If you RSVP Yes to a party and then just decide NOT to show up and NOT tell anyone that you won’t be there, then you are a punk and won’t be invited over again. Plus, you suck because you didn’t get to try my awesome homemade chocolate chip cookies, so … there.
Now then, I’m sure there are parties I’ve said I would go to and then didn’t go. I’m sure… although I can’t think of being invited over to someone’s house and then just… not going. I get anxious about social things, I worry about what to wear, about not knowing anyone, about being a loser and standing in the corner and everyone noticing that I’m not talking to anyone… it goes on and on and on. But! Social events are like going to the gym. The hardest part is putting your shoes on, and once you’ve done that, you’re 3/4 there. Get out the door, bring a bottle of wine (or in our case… Chicken Wings (nom)) and your happy face. It’s going to be fine, and the hosts won’t feel like losers because no one came to their party and now they have 23 bottles of beer they probably don’t even like sitting in their pantry. You will have saved them from slight embarrassment and anxiety just by showing up for an hour.
We can all be better at this, we can all be more considerate, myself included. Now then, who wants a beer? I have a few to spare…