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That Kind of Lazy

Maybe this goes with the post from yesterday but I have been craving a vacation. I have not been craving adventure (as is the usual thing I crave… Adventure!), I have not been craving experiencing something new or taking on a challenge. No. I have been craving the kind of lazy that Liz wrote about recently. The kind of lazy that we, as well, had on our honeymoon.

I have never been able to relax like we did on our honeymoon. Every trip I took as an adult was always rushed and full of activities, seeing people, running through airports (sometimes, more than twice, in barefeet), catching trains, sleeping on couches. I never even considered spending more than a long weekend anywhere, and even if I was hanging with my parents in Palm Springs while they golfed and I sat by the pool, it was never enough time to shake the rush of normal life off my clothes.

I think I shared 2 stories from our honeymoon because there wasn’t much to tell. We sat on the beach under a thatched cabana, I read 3 books in 7 days, we drank beer, we listened to the music pumping from the pool and napped in the middle of the day for no reason at all while listening to the ocean, we sat on our balcony and ate chips and salsa, and sprawled on the bed watching Nat Geo in spanish while Kamel translated. We laughed at the really burned people we imagined came from the middle of the US, we eavesdropped on stranger’s conversations at the bar, we judged stranger’s in their bathing suits as they walked by – playing hot or not in real life, scoping out bad and amazing bathing suits, and being 100% superficial.

And I guess the reason this all was so easy to gobble up – as opposed to any other time (including now) – was because we had really, really earned it. We had busted our asses for that wedding, used up all of our spare mental energy, saved and scrimped, and stayed up too late doing projects that seemed as though they would never ever end. We had shut our trap when people were frustrating or disappointing, raged into a pillow instead (me), brooded silently (Kamel), or sometimes we didn’t close our mouths and had it out in real life. It was all a lot, a lot of stuff. And most of you all know this, you know how drained it all can leave you (which is why a lot of people come back from weddings and honeymoons sick… me included).

But I want it again. I want to have permission to lay around and read books, to play in the ocean, and unplug for a week – and I totally haven’t earned it. All I’ve done is normal life. Sometimes it’s overwhelming and exhausting and stressful, but other times I sit on my ass with a glass of wine and watch Prime Suspect for 2 hours. Life is life. I just want the part where I lay around in tropical paradise for a week to be part of it.


  1. I totally understand this. I’m a moving-and-shaking vacationer (2 days in each city across Europe for 5 weeks? No problem! 9 days to drive from New York to Louisiana and back? Can do!), but we’ve decided not to go anywhere this year to help save a little bit of money. Instead, I’m using some of my vacation time for weekend trips and mental health days, and the rest to take a week off at Thanksgiving to do nothing. I can’t wait!

    • Yes! I lost 10 lbs in 10 days in FRANCE because I was walking running all over the place. Who does that? In the pastry capital of the world?

      • I totally understand this because I studied abroad in Paris for a semester in college and actually was the thinnest I have ever been despite eating my bodyweight in pastry. It was awesome.

  2. Umm how about you have lazy weekend? Just let everything aside. Maybe prepare fancy breakfast… say french toast, set it nicely on the table as opposed to eating on the couch (which we do all the time) and just do something different… go somewhere in the city where you have never been ?

    • I wish I wish I wish i had enough will-power to do that!! But I end up feeling GUILTY the entire weekend, and sneaking in work here and there, doing laundry, vacuuming, all kinds of non lazy, non vacation activities. I have a problem. 😉

      • I do the same thing. And then yell at Chris on Sunday night: who is going to end up doing all this when we run out of underwear and half and half in the middle of the week?

        Sometimes it’s not pretty.

  3. I used to hate the idea of the lazy vacation. If I’m going somewhere new, I thought, it would be a waste to not have a look around, at least. It seems like daily life got SO MUCH BUSIER since I got married, though, and now I can totally understand sitting on my ass for a week, stuffing my face, and enjoying the view. Can’t do that too often, though, and I have same the get-shit-done mentality if I’m at home on the weekend. What I do sometimes is give myself two hours or so to sit with a book, a cookie, some coffee, and not move. It’s almost the same, if only for two hours.

  4. my goodness, THIS. Me. Too. You said it perfectly – we had earned the honeymoon. And now it’s like we’ve tasted the forbidden fruit and can’t stop thinking about it!

    BTW, I so heart your tattoo. I’m too much of a wuss for a wrist tattoo (and don’t want to cover it up at work either), but how I love that ram. It’s amazing!

  5. Ummm you haven’t earned it?? Yeah, it’s just life, but it can be frickin HARD! And busting your ass everyday doing everyday activities can be exhausting. So, being lazy? You’ve totally earned it.

    If you need permission, granted! 😉

  6. Our honeymoon was a perfect half-and-half, and gradually got more and more lazy as we went on. We didnt go anywhere warm enough to laze about by the pool (mores the pity), but our “busy” days still usually had us finished doing stuff in time to have 2 hours spare to chat and laugh and nap and decide what we were doing for dinner.
    For our anniversary (3 weekends time, where did a year go?), we are off to the beach house for a weekend. Sleep ins, only chore is cooking our own food, just chill and reconnect again. I can imagine it being an annual event actually :)

    that said, we’re off to Europe, 12 countries in 6 weeks or similar in May and I cant wait for the busy-ness of it :)

  7. We spent our honeymoon in an area we both had spent time in as kids, so we didn’t feel a lot of pressure to “DO” things. Instead, we slept in, had leisurely breakfasts, and did whatever we felt like, including riding on an antique steam train and hanging out at the beach. It was the perfect mix of active and lazy, and we loved it!

    We’re going to Cancun in January for our ~big honeymoon~ since we were broke right after the wedding, and I anticipate this mix of activity and nothingness again, and I cannot wait! All of our little getaways and trips are chock full of adventure, but I think it’s important to have these laze-about vacations. I told E the other day that I intend to call every such lazy-couple vacation we take another honeymoon, because our honeymoon was the first time we gave ourselves permission to be total bums.

  8. bahaha. that’s the opposite of motivational, right there. i inspired you to laziness.


  1. The Guilt | I'm Better in Real Life - [...] writing last week about vacations and words and all of that, I realized I have a shit ton of…

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Who the hell is she?


Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

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