A week before the wedding I thought I had it all figured out. If I had to do it over again I was confident with what I would ditch and what I would keep. I told my mom that a wedding was not worth it. It wasn’t. If I had to do it over again I would have had an ultra small wedding (parents, 3 best friends, ta da), a dinner at a great restaurant and a honeymoon. Bam. No fancy dress, no hullabaloo.
What I thought the week before the wedding was: how silly of me to believe I would regret not having aspects of the wedding I had imagined growing up – nothing happened the way I thought it would during engagement, and busting my butt for the reception and the favors and the details had not ended up making me feel awesome. The week before the wedding it made me feel like I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t feel at all the way I thought I would about the things I thought I would.
This is an excerpt from the post over at A Practical Wedding that’s running today. Go check it out for the meaningful, deep down feelings I had and the general goings on of the wedding + photos.
I had millions (10s of 10s) of photos I have been chomping at the bit to share because ZOMG wedding photos!!! So EXCITED! And I could only fit about a pinky nail’s worth of photos in my APW post. So today I’m going to share some of the other details not mentioned over there, with some other photos not shown over there. Dueling posts for the win! A little bit of this and a little bit of that. And so forth.
First, our photographer, Lauren Carroll, was one of the top 5 best decisions about the wedding we made. We met way back in 2005 when we were both interning (and simultaneously hating our lives) in Winston-Salem. She was rocking it in the photo-journalism department of the newspaper, and I was bored out of my mind in sales and marketing at a publishing company.
We had been keeping in touch casually, and I had always been a huge huge fan, so when Kamel also loved her photos, I jumped on her, virtually. And thank god she said yes, and thank god she was willing to fly all the way across the country. Because not only was I honored to have her taking our photos, I was honored to have her in such an intimate space. Loving your photographer and having a great relationship with them is key, they’ll be with you all day. And Lauren was a huge part of why our wedding was so fun. Seriously.
The above picture is for sure the, “is it going to close?!” scenario. It closed, despite my boobs.
Another amazing decision we made was to go with fake flowers. Fake! The jig is up! (There really was no jig in the first place.) I could not have anticipated, though I did believe it would happen, just how insane the week before the wedding was. We had travel, and appointments, things to wrap up, things to literally wrap, dinners and meetings and blahblablah. It was insanity.
Thankfully past Lauren had been looking out for future Lauren, and present Lauren (at that time) was hardcore grateful. Who has time to think about boutonnieres at a time like this? At a time like this small details get shelved and you barrel forth.
But, luckily there was no shelving to be done because little details like bouquets, hair accessories, boutonnieres, chapel decorations, and gifts for my bridesmaids had all been purchased way in advance and had, for the most part, been kickin’ it in a closet somewhere in Seattle just waiting to be unearthed. I was ridiculously grateful for those months of foresight.
Crazy things about the morning that didn’t go at all as planned? Being very unclear on when our dresses (bridesmaids, mother and me) would be finished steaming, showing up to our hair/makeup appointments and standing in the rain with the stylists for 30 min because the opener never showed, oh and speaking of the rain …
… I picked a day that had not had measurable rain in 10, 15 years. I so wanted our out of town guests to experience the fab summers that Seattle truly does have. And what happened? It rained. And it was humid. And I definitely had to wipe boob sweat out of my dress before we went to the chapel. Straight up.
And then of course, there were no trusty anxiety meds anywhere to be found. Which was probably the number one thing I would actually go back and switch, whereas everything else just made the story richer.
If you are prone to “spells” or passing out or anxiety attacks, today is not the day to muscle through it. Do what you need to do and have what you need to have on hand.
Otherwise you’re not going to be present during the stressful bits. You’re going to be too focused on trying to keep it together (like I was).
We were married in my high school chapel and I am going to be forever grateful for that. It was my number 1 request about the wedding (aside from Kamel being there). I needed to be at Holy Names, I needed to have my 3 best friends in attendance (no maid of honor), and we needed our parents there. Wham bam a wedding. Everything else was (as Kamel says) icing on the gravy.
I don’t particularly like my dress. The day of, I was too happy to care and I could have been in a sack and still felt as awesome. But looking back I wish I would have gotten something that I felt super confident in. It’s not that I don’t think I look good in the photos, I do. I just don’t think I LIKE it as much as I wish I would. Does that make sense?
This is in my old physics classroom. I sat behind where I’m sitting in this photo and a little to the left. Kathleen and I used to throw notes across the room and I used to copy homework with Alena. It was a terrible class, but I did learn how to solder circuits together. Obviously, that’s come in very useful in my life.
This is going to have to be two posts because holy moley this is getting to be crazy town long. Tomorrow I’ll have all of the photos from the reception and everything we thought was fabulous and everything we thought were flubs. Yay I finally get to tell you all about everything!!