Home Sweet Home

We’ve been packing and packing every day this week. I love packing for the cleansing of it all. Old things we’ve just been holding onto for … whatever reason… most of the time it’s “Why do we even HAVE this?” are now thrown out, gotten rid of, recycled, given away. I love being able to start over, being able to say, “ok, in the new place – we’re not going to pile mail on the kitchen table until it’s 3 feet high. Never again!” And there’s hope that we’ll actually stick to it.

The part I hate about packing, is the feeling that there is never not going to be STUFF. There is stuff under the bed, up inside the closet, and when we’ve finally cleared out book shelves and the tops of tables, counter tops, etc., we realize there is still a bunch of random crap inside drawers, cupboards, the medicine cabinet. So much stuff.

So much stuff makes me feel panicky. It means a quick escape is impossible because we’re dragging so much stuff behind us. I’m the one who is quick to throw things away. “We haven’t even looked at this or remembered we have it in a year! Just throw it away, don’t even show me what it is, just get rid of it, quick!” I don’t want to let nostalgia creep in. Nostalgia is a pretend feeling – our memories are intact, I don’t need an old t-shirt to remind me of that one time in high school or that fantastic trip down the coast Maris and I took. I don’t need it, I have stories.

Living room!

Kamel is not so quick to let go of things. But I’ve moved about 3x as much as he has. I’ve learned that there are some things that just aren’t worth it. But he’s getting there. It’s not worth it to agonize over a tiny thing that fits in your palm when you have a whole house to relocate. It’s not worth it, to drag bags and bags of clothes from place to place only to have them sit in your closet and still never be worn.

Dining nook! Kitchen door!

Bag it, toss it, give it away. Make room for space to breath.

Snow Angel

We’ve hired movers. We have boxes filling our entry way. We have naked walls. We’ll be here, filling this space with our stuff on Saturday evening. Saturday. This morning Kamel was laughing and telling me how we totally disregarded our timeline. We just threw it out the window and up and moved. Can you believe it?

We hit a wall, I said. We hit a wall and we just left. Sunday afternoon we heard scratching and rustling somewhere in our kitchen. We sat in the living room, unmoving, listening as hard as we could. Was it the neighbor? Was it inside our house or outside? Little nails scratched on something metal, something wooden, something metal again. Was it the sound of mice? I know that sound very well. Or was it the sound of foil blowing in the breeze?

“It doesn’t matter,” Kamel said, still unmoving on the couch next to me, “We’re leaving in less than a week. It doesn’t matter. Thank God.”

A real hallway. Facing the front door from our bedroom door.

We still wonder if we made the right choice. Did we pick the right apartment? Did we jump in too fast? Should we have looked harder? Found a better deal? Should we have gone with the other place we were looking at.

A real, normal sized closet in the bedroom!

My answer to these questions is always that it doesn’t matter. We signed a lease. Even if we did totally mess up, we signed a lease, the end.

Testing out where we're putting the bed.

But really, I think no way. This is an adventure. This is a happy place. Even if, right now, we’re scraping by because of moving costs, and pro-rated September rent on top of our full September rent of the SF apartment, even if we’re crunching numbers in bed every night. Even if all of that, I’m excited. And I’m so, so grateful to be doing this with my buddy.

And I freaking love these windows.

37 thoughts on “Home Sweet Home”

      1. We’re currently waiting for my/our stuff to arrive from New York to the UK (I say my/our because some of its from the wedding but lots is just mine).

        And now I kind of want to live in your apartment. So much light!

  1. The new apartment looks so great. I love moving. I mean… I hate it. The whole ordeal. But the part where I have this brand new apartment with empty walls, full of possibility – I love that. Congratulations on the new space!

  2. Yay, new place! The happiness on your faces tells me that you didn’t make the wrong choice. (Besides, in a year, this new place will be HOME and you won’t even remember the other options you looked at!) And snow angels!

    So excited for you guys!!!!

  3. First of all … ::laughs:: … we have the same stove/oven. And fridge. Just so you know … that oven’ll be less than a year old. WIN! And it works like a champ … just takes a long time to fully heat up.

    I love it. I love it I love it I love it. I love the windows, and the closets, and the wood flooring, and the SPACE. I love your pantry (and am SUPER jealous of it), and the BATHROOM (seriously, who has a bathroom that cute BEFORE personalizing). I love that you have grass (even if it’s just a little bit) and the building that ISN’T a 4 story walk up. And I love that you guys are so happy.

    Seriously, it sounds like overkill, but it’s true. I’m so, so thrilled for you guys.

    And dude, Flo is going to fit in your kitchen PERFECTLY. =)

    1. Yay!!! And yes, it’s a brand new oven. No one has ever used it before. Which means we’ll have to keep it very clean, but I would want to anyway.

      And maybe I can even store Flo in the pantry during her downtimes insead of having her a permanent fixture on our counter tops. OH the possibilities.

      1. The oven is really easy to keep clean, actually. The stovetop, too. Ceramic top and all. Even jello drips cleaned right up (and they stained my counter in about 5 seconds flat, so that should tell you something). You actually have to take the burners off to get the drip pans out, though. That scared the crap out of me the first time, but they told me (when I thought I’d broken it) that it was totally normal.

        And the drawer on the bottom is NOT a broiler, btw. It’s a “warming drawer” otherwise known as the-place-I-keep-all-my-lids.

        1. Baaha! I had NO idea it was supposed to be a warmer, i always thought it was put there to store cookie sheets and pizza pans! That is hilarious.

  4. Ohhh I am so excited of you guys. Love the light, the kitchen and all that space. Congratulations. ANd yeah, stuff…it multiplicates. THe good thing is that after one too many moves it is easy to get rid of it.

  5. Omg I heart the tile in your bathroom. I want!

    What a FANTASTIC looking apartment. Seriously, it seems to have oodles of possibilities. Good luck with the move!

  6. I am so happy for you. There is nothing better than a fresh start and despite all the chaos, it really is lovely timing so close to your wedding. The husband and I closed on our house 5 days before our wedding and moved in 3 weeks later. Considering we’d lived together since (literally) the day we got engaged, the change of scenery really gave me something to say in response to “So, how’s it feel to be married?” Our new space gave me something tangible to hold onto as a validation of “this is married life.”

    I’m wishing you guys the absolute best of luck!

    P.S. I love the to-scale pictures of you in the closet!!!

  7. Hooray!!! I can’t wait to come visit and see your place πŸ™‚ and that picture of kamel testing out where the bed will go? I have done that in EVERY apartment that we’ve lived in!

    p.s. sooooo jealous of the pantry. le sigh.

  8. It looks big, spacious, pretty, clean (toilet seat with a “sanitized” band!!), bright, new, but the thing I liked the most is the two angels that are going to make it a home!

    I’m very happy for you!

  9. Ahhhh!!!! Cutest stinking apt ive EVER seen!!! And the kitchen! Gah! So awesome and airy and light. And a PANTRY! A pantry, Lauren. I cant WAIT to have a toast on Sunday to your new place πŸ˜‰

  10. Beautiful!!! Just amazing πŸ™‚ the tiles in the bathroom are probably my favorite! (ps: I have the EXACT SAME sink and cabinet thingy, like down to the knobs!) the light and windows are totally amazing and it looks cozy but spacious, all at the same time! Yay for new adventures πŸ™‚

  11. I want to make-out with your kitchen. Pantry? Jealous. And that counter space and new oven. You better cook up (ha) some mean fooding posts.

    Congrats!

    (And NO MORE ants!!)

  12. That is one kick ass apartment! When can I visit?

    I always get that feeling after signing a lease, even on a dream place, of “Oh shit, what did I just commit to?” It usually goes away when the stress of the actual move is done with. I’m sure you guys will love it there, since it’s just a physical space for the “home” you already have together.

    Oh god, that was so corny. But I meant it.

  13. Think of all of the awesome things you’ll get to cook in this new spacious kitchen. I love all of the natural light you two have in the apartment too. Hiring movers is the best thing ever… we moved in June in San Antonio and I didn’t have to lift any heavy boxes. We did buy them Gatorade because it was sweltering, but just sitting back and pointing them here & there was better than I expected.

  14. We bought a house the day before our wedding, and it freaks me out a little that we dont have more moving to do in order to keep clearing out stuff…
    Well, if we have kids, we will in a few years because this place is too small…
    Emjoy the new place!

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