The Day Before

The day before the wedding, which was supposed to be fun and a beginning to the festivities-filled-weekend, was a logistical nightmare. By the time we got to the rehearsal dinner I was done. I had hit the wall. Too many people, too much “rolling with it,” and what I thought was supposed to make me feel more comfortable for the actual wedding day, ended up making me feel worse. It was total pandemonium.

Looking back on it now, I laugh. Even then, I laughed, but in that clenched jaw “oh my god I can’t believe this is happeninnnnggg” kind of way. The original plan was like so:

  • 10am dropped off at the hotel to meet bridesmaids and hand over dresses for steaming and luggage for holding
  • 11am nail appointments down the street
  • 1230pm lunch and wine and shopping downtown
  • 330pm leave for rehearsal
  • 4pm rehearsal
  • 530pm rehearsal dinner.

Ba-Bam.

Here is the reality of that situation:

  • 915am Kamel realizes that our wedding license paperwork (the paperwork that needed a 72 hour grace period) had switched the bride and the groom so that I am slotted as the groom and Kamel the bride
  • 930am a hurricane of throwing things into luggage and grabbing everything needed for the wedding without so much as a calm thought running through anyone’s head
  • 10am at the administration building trying to get the issue fixed
  • 1030am at the hotel in a sweaty heap to meet the girls and drop off dresses
  • 11am at the nail appointment being told that no appointment can be found
  • 1130 trying to find other nail options and then being told that our nail appointment will be moved to 130
  • 12pm lunch with the girls, where incompetence reigned supreme and getting us all a glass of wine seemed to be beyond the waitstaff (thanks for the reminder, Maris).

 

  • 130 nails+beer (yes.)
  • 340 leave for the rehearsal and get stuck in traffic
  • 410 show up to the rehearsal late with a fuming mother and realize that we haven’t brought any of the checks for the vendors we said we would pay the day before OR the marriage license that was fixed in order to sign and handle as planned
  • 530 rehearsal dinner where it took 2 margaritas before my nerves calmed down.

I thought the rehearsal was going to make me feel confident for the next day. I thought it would give me a headsup on what would happen and we would practice and all would be good. Instead, the rehearsal felt like it went way too fast, the energy was way too high with everyone chattering and not paying attention, and I left feeling shaky and unsure. Nothing can truly prepare you for your wedding, but I left feeling worse, more confused and anxious, than if we hadn’t done one at all.

By the time I got back to the hotel to have my lady’s night sleep over I felt like an emotional zombie. But for a few hours, before we crashed at 1030, I got to forget there was a huge wedding the next day and just focus on drinking a glass of wine with my best friends and watching as they opened up their bridesmaid gifts.

Which just so happened to include fun hoodies and tank tops for that evening and the next morning (among other things).

Claire, on the far left, kept smiling during this photo, making everyone else laugh because really? I’m not taking a picture of your face ladies! Whenever I would ask for instructions on how to use the photo app from her phone, we all could hear that she just kept on holding that smile. Way to commit to the picture taking process Claire!

Having the girls around really saved me from my mounting nerves. Truly, even though maybe at times it didn’t seem like it, oh it could have been so much worse. When it was just the 4 of us, even though there was a huge life changing event on the horizon, I could remember that this stuff is fun. When my rampant anxiety threatened to over take me, they were there to remind me to eat, and to take deep breaths. When we were all together things seemed NORMAL, it felt like it was just another day with my best friends who have been there at every major event in my adult life.

So even though the day before the wedding left me shaky, at best, it was all part of the experience. It all fed into a feeling of being emotionally stripped down and raw, so you have no choice but to feel your wedding, as overwhelming and exhilarating as it is.

23 thoughts on “The Day Before”

  1. Don’t forget the lunch where nobody knew where the eff we were supposed to order wine! I’m so glad we got to have a fun relaxing sleepover before the wedding- it was just like old times, except for… you know… being asleep by 10:00 🙂

    Also, I would just like you to know that we were all super impressed by how calmly you were handling all of the disasters! I think I would have a meltdown, complete with rolling around on the floor, kicking, and crying.

    1. oh my god I forgot about the stupid restaurant of DOOM. I think I Was just so grateful that we were all there, sitting, and not having any disasters for the moment that I blocked that part out. Sigh. What a day. It did us no favors. Except my toes still look fab. haha

  2. This cracked me up because I have SO been there. When we left (late) for my rehearsal, we got around the block and realized we had FORGOTTEN MY GRANDMOTHER. So we went back to get her (she was hanging out in her room watching HGTV and was none the wiser!) and arrived late, and my officiant had to be at another wedding in an hour. Nobody was listening, my speakers weren’t working for the Ipod music, and my mother was an angry emotional mess for no reason. My one bridezilla moment was standing on the altar of our tiny chapel when a busload of Japanese tourists opened the door to take pictures and I screamed at them “THE SIGN SAYS THAT THE CHAPEL IS CLOSED!!!!”

    No so relaxing. And an hour later, my mom knocked on my hotel room door while I was naked drying my hair and Jeff was naked ironing his clothes for our welcome reception so she could complete her emotional breakdown with us. Perfect.

    Luckily, the rehearsal is almost never indicative of the wedding! 🙂

  3. Not to be all cheesy, but it is an absolute treasure to have friends to help you through a day like that. Not a lot of people feel comfortable letting their friends see them as an anxiety ridden mess. You gals are lucky to have each other!

  4. I think there is no way the day before the wedding is a calm day, no matter how good you organize. I was off from work since Monday (wedding was on Saturday, parents arrived from the other side of the ocean on wednesday, rest of family and friends on Friday) and I was all ready with my lists all ticken off (is that a verb? ) by Wednesday.
    Well, by Friday, it was complete chaos, I think we went to bed by midnight, all day running last minute errands that came out of nowhere cause my lists were all ticked off. But it was a happy kind of chaos, just a million things to do and a million places to be in and lots of people to see at the same time and not enough hours. Oh how I wished I was Hermione when she could go back in time and be in different places at the same time.

  5. Lauren-
    I love your posts!! They make my breaktime at work so entertaining…I laugh out loud and my co workers look at me like I’m nuts. I look forward to more wedding stories!

  6. Yaaaaayyy!! and yes, I am a gift. A gift to mankind 🙂 But seriously we kept eachother calm for reals, it went both ways!

  7. I’d like to meet anyone who had a calm day before their wedding. Mine was definitely NOT zen. And it all revolved around having something for guests to throw at us as as we exited the church. Which? I didn’t even think people did anymore. The day before is DEFINITELY part of the grand experience. Unforgettable 🙂

  8. Our rehearsal day was an utter disaster. Mr. Beagle had alcohol poisoning. He literally heaved and dry heaved the entire day. It was one of the most frustrating days of my life.

  9. By the way, as a receiver of many bridesmaid gifts (some awesome by the way) I must say those tank tops and hoodies are ADORABLE.

  10. Sorry I just have to comment on this and say… I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I spent the day before our wedding the most hungover I’ve ever been in my life (dumbass me decided to do the bachelorette the night before the rehearsal/dinner), running around Pike Place getting our flowers (it wasn’t bad, just kind of hectic), my Mom literally NAPPED THROUGH our entire rehearsal dinner, and I couldn’t get a hold of her and thought she got into a car accident or something on her way to Alki…

    The dinner itself was fine, though I managed to chip all of my nails and had to go back in the next morning to get them re-done, hahaha. And one of my favorite moments of that weekend was staying up until 2, talking to my Dad and my little sister like we used to when I lived back in Boston.

    There’s always some sort of chaos but then you’re reminded by friends and family of the good moments that you won’t ever forget.

  11. Anyone who tells you that the rehearsal day will be relaxing is trying to sell you something. It’s funny because everyone is whirling around you going “AREN’T YOU SO HAPPY? ISN’T THIS THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE? HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY” and you’re all “I’m going to KIIIIILLLLL YOU ALLLLL!”

  12. Ah, wedding logistics. The best thing that ever happened to my wedding was my maid of honor. She fielded questions, got people directions, kept track of my schedule, told me where to go when; basically she was my brain for the day. Made everything a million times easier for me.

    But the important thing is that you guys ended up married. Everything else is just sprinkles!

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