The day before the wedding, which was supposed to be fun and a beginning to the festivities-filled-weekend, was a logistical nightmare. By the time we got to the rehearsal dinner I was done. I had hit the wall. Too many people, too much “rolling with it,” and what I thought was supposed to make me feel more comfortable for the actual wedding day, ended up making me feel worse. It was total pandemonium.
Looking back on it now, I laugh. Even then, I laughed, but in that clenched jaw “oh my god I can’t believe this is happeninnnnggg” kind of way. The original plan was like so:
- 10am dropped off at the hotel to meet bridesmaids and hand over dresses for steaming and luggage for holding
- 11am nail appointments down the street
- 1230pm lunch and wine and shopping downtown
- 330pm leave for rehearsal
- 4pm rehearsal
- 530pm rehearsal dinner.
Here is the reality of that situation:
- 915am Kamel realizes that our wedding license paperwork (the paperwork that needed a 72 hour grace period) had switched the bride and the groom so that I am slotted as the groom and Kamel the bride
- 930am a hurricane of throwing things into luggage and grabbing everything needed for the wedding without so much as a calm thought running through anyone’s head
- 10am at the administration building trying to get the issue fixed
- 1030am at the hotel in a sweaty heap to meet the girls and drop off dresses
- 11am at the nail appointment being told that no appointment can be found
- 1130 trying to find other nail options and then being told that our nail appointment will be moved to 130
- 12pm lunch with the girls, where incompetence reigned supreme and getting us all a glass of wine seemed to be beyond the waitstaff (thanks for the reminder, Maris).
- 130 nails+beer (yes.)
- 340 leave for the rehearsal and get stuck in traffic
- 410 show up to the rehearsal late with a fuming mother and realize that we haven’t brought any of the checks for the vendors we said we would pay the day before OR the marriage license that was fixed in order to sign and handle as planned
- 530 rehearsal dinner where it took 2 margaritas before my nerves calmed down.
I thought the rehearsal was going to make me feel confident for the next day. I thought it would give me a headsup on what would happen and we would practice and all would be good. Instead, the rehearsal felt like it went way too fast, the energy was way too high with everyone chattering and not paying attention, and I left feeling shaky and unsure. Nothing can truly prepare you for your wedding, but I left feeling worse, more confused and anxious, than if we hadn’t done one at all.
By the time I got back to the hotel to have my lady’s night sleep over I felt like an emotional zombie. But for a few hours, before we crashed at 1030, I got to forget there was a huge wedding the next day and just focus on drinking a glass of wine with my best friends and watching as they opened up their bridesmaid gifts.
Which just so happened to include fun hoodies and tank tops for that evening and the next morning (among other things).
Claire, on the far left, kept smiling during this photo, making everyone else laugh because really? I’m not taking a picture of your face ladies! Whenever I would ask for instructions on how to use the photo app from her phone, we all could hear that she just kept on holding that smile. Way to commit to the picture taking process Claire!
Having the girls around really saved me from my mounting nerves. Truly, even though maybe at times it didn’t seem like it, oh it could have been so much worse. When it was just the 4 of us, even though there was a huge life changing event on the horizon, I could remember that this stuff is fun. When my rampant anxiety threatened to over take me, they were there to remind me to eat, and to take deep breaths. When we were all together things seemed NORMAL, it felt like it was just another day with my best friends who have been there at every major event in my adult life.
So even though the day before the wedding left me shaky, at best, it was all part of the experience. It all fed into a feeling of being emotionally stripped down and raw, so you have no choice but to feel your wedding, as overwhelming and exhilarating as it is.