We are taking a break from waiting this week. Actually, after I wrote that post it was like the world broke open, finally, and we were on our way again. Sometimes you just need to put it out there.
Yes, I am still waiting for things. Yes, there is always the “After such and such” and “Once we get blahblah” or “Maybe we can do that after blank amount of time has passed.” I think there will always be that, always. It keeps us moving forward, pushing more, going further.
But for now, we can cross something off the list. We are in for a big lifestyle change. Kamel has gotten a new job, at a new company. A company that will pay him for the work he does, a company that will (as it seems, so far anyway) appreciate him for all of the hard work he does. And, really, isn’t that the base line of any employer? It should be, if it’s not. Kamel has a new opportunity, a better work environment, and a new start.
And in turn, (and this is the extra exciting part), I will have the chance to stop working my temp job, the job that sucks most of my day away, that has me commuting to San Jose (an hour and 15 min home, 2 hours on the way there) and paying tolls, so that my commute expense is between $400-$500 a month. A job that has paid my bills and given us support and comfort and has also prevented me from focusing on my career.
Starting in July, I will begin working from
home coffee shops. Writing another book, fixing the first book I wrote, getting my chap book finally finished and up for sale, researching and writing freelance (once I find jobs, that is…), working furiously to publish, and focusing better attention on this space. I’ll be starting a new series (starring the kitchen aid, and then hopefully some other cooking accessories we receive from the wedding), I’ll be able to have more time to spend doing the things for this space I’ve always wanted to do, but then never feel like I have time for. And, I’ll be working more hours over at APW, feeling less rushed and more on top of things. Kamel, while he advances his career, is giving me the opportunity to finally have mine.
It’s another chapter, a new beginning. I’m worried that I will fail, I’m worried that I will be lonely and bored sometimes, I’m worried that all of the drive is on me and what if I procrastinate my time away? I’m worried that I will go totally nutso without a job demanding I show up at a certain time. When I was unemployed for 2 months I was a crazy face… is this going to be like that? Seeing the beginnings of my to do list, it doesn’t seem like it will be, but I guess I won’t know until I dive in. And that’s the whole point. I am a writer, and yet… and yet, I haven’t been able to treat it like my full time job. It’s been a hobby I struggle (And succeed, mostly) to find time for. But I’ve never been able to do the things I really need to be doing (Like reading more literary journals? More on that coming soon.), and now I have the chance, the opportunity, to see where it can take me.
Of course this means we have a budget, a budget that is strict and necessary. This means math at the grocery store and a bi-weekly allowance. But it also means more freedom for travel, for long weekends, for adventures, for LIFE. Can you imagine? Instead of coming home, making dinner, working until bed, then waking up and working again, I’ll be able to have evenings with Kamel. And weekends! And then, once the wedding is over, I’ll have my sanity.
So congratulations and thank you to Kamel. You work so hard, and make me so, so proud. You deserve every good thing, you deserve to be appreciated, and I am so grateful that I get to navigate life with you next to me.