Kamel took a cab part way home a few days ago. We’re still trying to work out his new commute, and dinner was not going to wait for him until 8pm, lemme tell ya. Anyhoo, when he got home he had some pretty fabulous dialogue to report.
Kamel: So, my cabby… man, he liked the ladies.
Me: Oh yeah? Heh… like what?
[Imagine a thick Eastern European accent]
At a stop light, Cabby sees a young woman in another car.
Cabby: Yes, very nice, she is very sexy… look over there… look!
Kamel: Ohh… yeah, she’s nice.
Cabby (about another woman): Mmm… she has lovely skin, don’t you think? She is very beautiful.
Cabby: You know what I would really like? Maybe one night I’m driving back from East Bay, on Bay Bridge or something, and I am maybe, you know, tired so I’m swerving, and a hot lady cop pulls me over. And she is knocking on the window to get in. And she is beautiful, she is sexy, very sexy. And she gets aggressive because, you know, I can’t roll down the window fast enough for her. And she gets louder and meaner and meaner! And …. you know … this is really sexy …. and I think, if she could maybe just listen to my voice, she may hear my accent, she would know I was not from here, and then maybe we could get drinks later or something. It’s the uniform, ya know? Very sexy.
Kamel: Oh. Yeah. Ok. [Kamel checks his phone]
Cab pulls up to another stop light and two women are waiting at the crosswalk.
Cabby: Oh, look at those two over there. It’s a shame they are married because they are reeaally beautiful.
When Kamel got back to the apartment, he gave him a bigger tip than usual just because he was so grateful to be home. Attack of the fantasy over sharing stranger. And my response to that? What. The. Fuck. People are so weird.