TMI Cabby Edition

Kamel took a cab part way home a few days ago. We’re still trying to work out his new commute, and dinner was not going to wait for him until 8pm, lemme tell ya. Anyhoo, when he got home he had some pretty fabulous dialogue to report.

Kamel: So, my cabby… man, he liked the ladies.
Me: Oh yeah? Heh… like what?

***

[Imagine a thick Eastern European accent]

At a stop light, Cabby sees a young woman in another car.

Cabby: Yes, very nice, she is very sexy… look over there… look!
Kamel: Ohh… yeah, she’s nice.
Cabby (about another woman):
Mmm… she has lovely skin, don’t you think? She is very beautiful.
Kamel:
[Silence]
Cabby
: You know what I would really like? Maybe one night I’m driving back from East Bay, on Bay Bridge or something, and I am maybe, you know, tired so I’m swerving, and a hot lady cop pulls me over. And she is knocking on the window to get in. And she is beautiful, she is sexy, very sexy. And she gets aggressive because, you know, I can’t roll down the window fast enough for her. And she gets louder and meaner and meaner! And …. you know … this is really sexy …. and I think, if she could maybe just listen to my voice, she may hear my accent, she would know I was not from here, and then maybe we could get drinks later or something. It’s the uniform, ya know? Very sexy.
Kamel: Oh. Yeah. Ok. [Kamel checks his phone]

Cab pulls up to another stop light and two women are waiting at the crosswalk.

Cabby: Oh, look at those two over there. It’s a shame they are married because they are reeaally beautiful.

***

When Kamel got back to the apartment, he gave him a bigger tip than usual just because he was so grateful to be home. Attack of the fantasy over sharing stranger. And my response to that? What. The. Fuck. People are so weird.

9 thoughts on “TMI Cabby Edition”

  1. The guy sounds pretty harmless to me. I mean he’s not an axe murder or anything, just likes the ladies.

  2. Oooooh man … that’s fantastic and creepifying all at the same time.

    We once had a cabby (on the way home (finally) from our wedding trip) who spent 30 minutes trying to convert the already-Christian couple to Christianity. It was fascinating and embarrasing and just a little weird.

    So, a toast. To all the weird cabbies in the world. All at once … toasting each one individually will get you TRASHED.

  3. Haha I’m not gonna lie, this just made me laugh really hard. Definitely a creepy dude but I think he’s just stuck in a fantasy world thinkin’ about ladies in his cab. Poor Kamel though; I bet he felt so so awkward.

    1. The best part is hearing Kamel (who is shockingly good at voices) re-enact it in our living room. The whole time I was going “WHAT?! WHAT?! Nooo… REALLY? He said that?! NOooo” hahahaha

  4. haaahahaha that’s hilarious. hey at least he was only talking about them in really complimentary ways, not like “man look at those two b*tches, I would hit that pretty hard.” still SUPAR creepy to talk about your sexual fantasies to strangers in a cab!! yikes. haha maybe he keeps getting these big tips and thinks it’s because people loooove hearing about his fantasies…

Leave a Reply