Ok. So. Here’s the thing. Summer gives me anxiety. Why? (Well, a lot of things give me anxiety) Because of clothes. Summer clothes are only necessary in the worlds I live in for about 5 solid days a year. On these 5 days I can usually get away with jeans, but sometimes I rock a skirt, just because the world should have proof that I have legs. So, if I were to leave the West Coast and go anywhere else for any length of time, I would have nothing appropriate to wear. And guess what, Internet? I realized a few months ago that we will be honeymooning. For 8 days. In Cancun. In July. And I had nothing to wear. Most of my dresses are for work, or tea. And it occurred to me that over the last 2 years of constant moving, I had given away 90% of my skirts to the Good Will. And on top of this? I have no money for vacation clothes. I mean, who can justify buying a full week of clothes for vacation? Not I.
But you know what the truth is? The truth is, when I don’t have the proper clothes on vacation, or I’m re-wearing the same 3 things again and again and I’m not camping, I feel like shit. I feel self conscious and pissed off that everyone else is having a carefree time in their comfortable clothes while I am sweaty and sticky and everything is too snug because I bloat up in the humidity, and every photo is going to be me in the same goddamn tank top!
For several weeks after realizing that 8 days is not a long weekend, and I will actually need to purchase some items, I mooned over catalogs. I tried to justify 80 dollar sandals, I looked at Maxi dresses that were thin cotton and cost $125. I felt broke and helpless. And then I went to Target.
First of all, Target stuff is CUTE. You have to get over the messy dressing rooms and the walmart feel. You have to set that aside. This isn’t anthropologie, there aren’t couches in the dressing rooms, there isn’t good lighting. This is affordable stuff you’re thrilled to wear (as opposed to being embarrassed, and let me tell you, I am the EXACT opposite of embarrassed).
So, you’ve probably already read about how I hate shorts. But you know what? I really, really hate shorts. They lie to you. They act like they’re all comfy and useful. You don’t have to worry about keeping your legs closed, or a swift breeze exposing your panties to the world. You can run around being all athletic in them, they are what every true adventurer wears.
But what happens when I try to buy shorts? Well. The size I usually am in pants (8) never fits. Ever. They are always way too tight around the waist because my butt pulls on them. The crotches are all generally too small, giving me an instant wedgy and/or muffin top from having to pull the shorts down below my hops. And if that all some how, magically works out, my thighs will push against the shorts when I sit down, and that feels like complete shit. So… yeah. This is a NO SHORTS ZONE.
So, guess what you guys? I think this is the first time I’ll be on vacation feeling comfortable, feeling like I have enough to wear, feeling like I’m not an awkward schlep wrestling with the heat.
And I feel so relieved! And excited! For the first time packing is not going to be the worst experience of my life. In fact, I won’t even really have to think about it, just pop a stack of clothes into a suit case and away we go. These clothes may be cheap, but that my friends, is priceless.
And you wanna know my favorite purchase from Target? The most ridiculously fun thing I bought because it was only $19.99?
This totally ridiculous, fringed beach cover up.
So here is my PSA to the world. Be free to spend money on clothes you won’t wear every day to work, or for multiple special occasions. Go to Target (not a sponsor), and feel guilt free. Go ahead and buy that amazingly silly 70s cover up, the dress that looks like it came from Banana Republic but costs $20, or the super comfy, flow-y white skirt that you’ve always wanted but never felt cool enough to buy. And for the love of God, don’t feel pressured to buy shorts.