Getting Old

I have to tell you something, and you’re going to think I’m totally nutso, but some things have happened and I can no longer pretend it isn’t there.

I’m getting old(er).

Look at it, out there in the world, just hanging there, like a shriveled sex organ. It’s awful. I also have to admit, that I really didn’t enjoy turning 26. I didn’t. 25 was nice, tucked right into the middle like that. I was safe at 25. At 26 I have to come clean about what’s really happening; I’m becoming a grown up and that means that I’m getting old.

How do I know this? Well. When I was 22 I discovered I needed glasses for distance. All the street signs looked like they had a film over them, nothing was as clear as it used to be. When I was tested in grade school, I had 15/20 vision. I could see the spin on a tennis ball… just like my mom used to be able to before her eyes went to shit. Before she got old. And then, at 24 I lost my glasses. I lost them! And you know what that is? Another sign that I’m losing my mind to age deterioration, that’s what that is.

So, about a year ago, I went to Costco (where you don’t need insurance) and got these sweet Converse man glasses. And then around my birthday (where I turned 26 old) I left them on a plane. I lost them, AGAIN. So I’ve been driving around the city blind for a few months. How scary is that? So, a week ago I went and had a real eye exam, in a very cute eye exam and glasses shop (where I nearly passed out during the exam and the poor doctor had to put a wet paper towel on the back of my neck and feed me chocolate squares while Kamel watched, thoroughly entertained) and got a pair of new, Kate Spade, glasses. Glasses, which Kamel has told me again and again, that I cannot, under NO circumstances LOSE, or else he’ll get me a chain that i have to wear around my neck at all times.

You know what else I got?! (And this I’m rather thrilled about since I have such issues with glare.) Prescription SUN GLASSES. So… ya know, when I’m at the pool on our honeymoon, I can see the pool boy with my drinks waaaaaay over on the other side, and I will know that soon, soon everything will be ok again.

See that? That’s authentic sun glass joy right there… seen in its natural habitat. (Right next to a window, at about 8:30 at night, in cloudy San Francisco.)

When I told Kamel it freaks me out to have to rely on glasses for things like seeing he didn’t really get it. He’s been wearing glasses for most of his life. For me, it’s age. It’s a piece of my body that is breaking and needs fixing, or “correction.” I used to be super stoked for glasses, they are indeed shoes for your face, but now I really do get freaked out when I can only read the second line from the top on eye exams. What the eff? I used to rock that shit. Sigh. 26. There’s not much I can do except look fabulous.

26 thoughts on “Getting Old”

  1. But they are shoes for your face and you know who makes glasses? Fendi! and it’s totally ok to spend that much on glasses because when you divide the cost by the number of days you wear them (which is *everyday*) it’s absolutely not insane! (until they break and i cried like a little girl…it was sad…but for a while i had Fendi glasses…with rhinestones…and I was happy…i still have the cloth thingy to clean my lenses…i miss those glasses…)

  2. My vision started to get worse in sixth grade! So, no you’re not old. 🙂 But I understand the feeling. I turned 29 this year. Trying not to even think about how my life looks more like that of a 22 year old. Here is a tip if you lose your glasses a lot: get the prescription from the doctor, go home, and buy them online! (http://glassyeyes.blogspot.com/ is a good place to start) I get most of mine for less than $40 and they are just as cute the designer ones in the shops.

    1. Agreed! I finally realized I really, really had to start wearing my glasses a few months ago, and buying them online for cheapcheapcheap has allowed me to have a few pairs in rotation and has kept them from getting boring. I use zennioptical.com, which has prescription glasses starting at 6.95! I’m also near-sighted and feel super, super weird with glasses on, something my guy also doesn’t get because he’s always had glasses. I still haven’t gotten used to the feeling that OMG THERE IS SOMETHING ON MY FACE WTF.

  3. I don’t tend to lose my glasses, but I do beat the crap out of them. Seriously. I had METAL Oakley frames and I somehow managed to chip them. And pry one of the logos off (and proceed to glue back on). How does someone DO that?

    I recently got a new pair of Michael Kors. Which everyone tells me are crazy cute, but I dunno. Maybe it’s just that a wide plastic frame is not what I’m used to? Who knows.

    I do love yours, though. A LOT. And I’m irritated that my doctor didn’t have Kate Spade because I would have been ALL OVER THEM. But yay, you got them! And they’re fabulous!

    1. Yes! I was stoked about the Kate Spade. And ya know what? They were one of the cheaper brands available. I mean, not costco prices, but 200 bucks? When I had a 130 dollar credit? Awesome.

      1. Right? I think my frames were about that as well. But then there were the lenses. Oh man, I’m blind, so those were PRICEY. Thank goodness for HSAs!

  4. i felt absolutely similarly about turning 26 a few weeks ago. for the first time in my life, i’m not younger than everybody i interact with. for the first time in my life, i did not feel complete nonchalace about aging another year. i felt weird and kind of bad. and for me, the indelible marker of age is not eyes, but teeth. i brush, i floss, i drink milk, and yet they continue to crap out on me in ways unprecedented, even in my candy and soda consuming youth! i agree about looking fabulous, though. even though i do not like the feeling of getting older, i love the way i look. especially with a pair of rockin sunglasses. maybe it’s time to invest in more shoes for the face?

    1. I have been SUPER paranoid about my teeth lately. I feel like I’m doing a terrible job and I have been trying to get in to see the dentist but because of insurance complications, being sick, etc I’ve had to reschedule and ugghh it’s stressing me OUT.

    2. You are not alone. It feels like now, when I’ve really been taking care of my teeth for the past few years, I’ve had way more problems with them. Getting older kind blows like that.

  5. I love the sunglasses! I need to get a pair of prescription ones myself. My eyesight has been pretty bad since I was a teenager, so the glasses thing never made me feel old, but I can tell you, I’ve noticed some real physical deterioration in this 25th year of mine. Like my knees hurt (a lot) after a day of skiing, or after a long (ahem, 3 mile) run. And I all of a sudden have allergies. And I all of a sudden can’t drink red wine without getting a horrible headache the next day (I swear I used to be hangover-proof!). I keep telling my body that it’s too early to pull that kind of stuff but it’s not listening!

  6. Those sunnies are awesome!

    I wear glasses every day as I cant wear contacts (stupid dry eyes) and I am soooo blind without them. I wear really heavy tortoiseshell 1950s style frames which I love. But loads of people including my own mother are “suggesting nicely” that I should get rimless or something more delicate to go with my wedding veil. Hmm I dont know what to do, these specs are ME! If the boy wore glasses I bet noone would be telling him to change them or worse still “just go with out them for down the aisle”…oh yeah that’s what people want, dazed and confused and tangled in a veil.

    Grrr, sorry rant over now. Awesome specs! And seriously, “like a shrivelled sex organ”? LOL

  7. First, 26 is YOUNG. (I’m 28 and therefore qualified to talk, obviously)

    Second, I have an actual real life problem with my hip. If that’s not an old person’s affliction I don’t know what is.
    And wrinkles.
    And I found a white eyebrow hair the other day.

    1. HA! I am only 27 and I have found TWO white eyebrow hairs!! TOP THAT!!!!

      LOL, just kidding, but that did make me laugh when I saw that you had one too. I was so shocked when I first saw mine… luckily they grow in where my unibrow bridges, so they get waxed off pretty frequently.

  8. Oh man. I feel you. I’m 28 and still holding out. I once tested 12/20. 12/20! I was a fucking superhero. (Who would *torture* her mom for needing distance glasses.) But wow, those street signs are hard to read now. I tell myself it’s computer-induced eye strain because I can read in the morning and not at night. Luckily I don’t drive much, so I can continue to delude myself in this fashion. And if I really need glasses to drive, I wear Scott’s, who has gone to the eye doctor, and who the eye doctor told he barely needs glasses. Thanks eye doctor, I’m glad my 40 year old can see better than me.

  9. I turned 26 on Monday, but since everyone in my life is currently turning 30 or just turned 30, I don’t feel so old. I feel old when I talk to new young law students who are only 22 and they are so cute and young and optimistic, but it’s okay.

    I’ve had glasses since I was 8. I wear contacts now, and it definitely cuts down on losing my glasses. I say you’re not old if you’re lucky enough to be able to leave the house without your glasses, since I fall down the steps if I don’t have mine.

  10. On an unrelated note – you are so lucky to have a partner with an interest in photography! You always have the most beautiful/cool pictures of you on here.

  11. dude…i’m 23 and not experiencing any ailments at all due to gaining years every year yet, but Isaiah is 29 and he is starting to have knee problems. KNEE PROBLEMS?! at 29?! come the f*ck on. Also, he gets like…naturally sleepy at 10:30 and I’m just getting ready to go out…he’s complained about how loud the music is lately. Really, grandpa? Really?

  12. I will be turning 27 this year, a couple of weeks after the wedding. Maybe it’s because I’ve needed glasses since 1993, but I can tell you that 26 has turned out pretty well for me. I have awesome Ray Ban prescription sunglasses and I look for any excuse to throw those bad boys on. You can bet I’ll have a wedding picture with them. 🙂

    I do have a question for you, which I tried to email instead of leaving in a comment box, but the email came back. Brad (my FI) and I will be honeymooning in San Francisco, where you live (?). He is planning our honeymoon and going with City Pass, but I was wondering if there’s a great massage place that you know of, as well as any can’t miss restaurants/bars/attractions.

    Please help a girl out and the next time you come to Cincinnati, OH I’ll have your back.

    Again, sorry to leave this in a comment box. 🙂

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