I have found, in my adult life, that sometimes everything happens at once, sometimes you are scrambling to balance it all, you wish you just had 5 more minutes (to sleep, to eat, to work, to think), sometimes life moves you so swiftly you can barely hang on to your hat, you’re being catapulted through space and time, you’re on the move whether you like it or not. And sometimes, other times, times that seem to take milennia… you wait. You wait for the deadline, for the call, for the answer, for something (anything!) to happen. You wait and suddenly waiting feels like a 2nd (or 3rd!) job. It fills all of the space between activities, it feels like you’ve never done anything before, like you never had the moments filled with movements, like you’ve gotten a full on college degree in Sitting and Waiting (it’s in the Humanities).
The Lauren-Kamel household is in the between. Between floors, between levels, between here and there, stop and go. We are in the waiting room. We are there together, patiently keeping each other busy, playing thumb war, flipping through old magazines, tapping our feet. My metaphor could go on for hours. I have all day.
Our weekends are filled with errands and meetings and all the things we should’ve, would’ve had time for if only. I am guilty because I didn’t do that second load of laundry, because I was too busy doing equally mundane things (eating bad chinese). We don’t have time for the adventures that used to fill the spots where I am now bored, because we are busy… with waiting.
We wait for the wedding, for people to return RSVPs, for people to call us back, for future possibilities (more to come on this later, you’ll have to wait). We wait for the mail, for the phone to ring, for paychecks to go through, for emails to be sent, for bills to come due. We wait on time and we wait to have time.
I have so many things planned, so many stories to tell, so many so many. But they are all out there, in the future. I am in the business of making my own stories happen, but not today. Not this week or this month. But the month is almost over, it’s right around the bend, things to say, I can feel them. Just wait a little bit more and we’ll get there.