In The Night

First, let me clear up any misconceptions that I am a beautiful sleeper. This is what I woke up to this morning. Yeah. Let’s just mediate on that for a while. Hot.

Second , you guys! Kamel knocked something off the nightstand last night and jarred me awake, and when I turned to see what was up and jab him in the ribs to tell him he knocked something off, a blinding light glared at me from the window. It was like a flashlight was turned on and pointing right into our bedroom, right into my face. I tilted my head so I could get a better look, while I shielded my eyes. And guess what? It was the MOON. The moon was crazy bright. So crazy bright that the birds were all singing. At 3am, the birds were going nutso, thinking the giant blaring white ball in the sky was the sun. (Or at least, that’s my theory.) So of course I’m like “WOW look at the MOON!” And Kamel is all “Hm? Ohyah. snooooooooze.” And then I laid in bed for the next twenty minutes amazed by the birds all twitter and wondering if that meant they would be feeling that mistake this morning and if they would be going to bed early today. And then I fell back asleep because those kind of thoughts just can’t be sustained for long.

Third(ly), this is day two of horrible bad wedding dreams. The panic in them hasn’t hit peak level yet. I still wake up going “wtf?” and not quite with the heart jumping out of my chest feeling that most bad dreams give me. And no sleep crying yet, so that’s good. But ughh day two and this is getting old. Last night, in my dream, it was pouring down rain, and somehow the get-ready-room was sort of outside, like in a covered picnic area or something, and the rain was leaking everywhere and completely soaked my computer, which of course then died because of it. And then I had to try and take public transit – in full wedding regalia – by myself to the event. And everything was going wrong, and suddenly I looked at my watch (I have a watch?) and it was 4:45! And the wedding starts at 2:30! And everyone was waiting for me! And I had to walk, uphill, hoisting up my wedding dress! And then my parents showed up and my dad wanted to give everyone french toast to make it all better. The end. But really? I officially have 58 days left until the wedding and this bullshit has to stop. Because, knowing my brain, it’s just going to get worse. Oh wedding stress dreams! What else can you throw at me?

Tell me about your stress dreams, we can all laugh at them and maybe it will scare the rest of mine away…

25 thoughts on “In The Night”

  1. Last night, (fiance) David was somehow engaged to Priya from the Big Bang Theory. At some point, he must have been Leonard, since Leonard is CLEARLY with Priya. Sheldon was even there. Anyway, somehow I found out that David was pissed b/c his mom was mad that he didn’t mention he wanted to marry Priya. And I was all, “what? I would have married you, you big idiot.” So he breaks up with Priya and WE get engaged. I woke up feeling really weird like what just happened, b/c we already ARE engaged. There’s no Priya.

    Watching the Big Bang Theory tonight will be really interesting, needless to say. I’ll probably call Priya a few names…I mean, how dare she?!

  2. Oh god, I had a dream my dress was made like five times too big and I didn’t realize it until I was at the altar and trying desperately to hide my bra and underwear, but the dress was sagging so much EVERYWHERE that I couldn’t. It was awful.

    But then, did you know that my cell phone rang as I was reading my vows – IN REAL LIFE? That was a nightmare come true but ended up being terrifically funny. In truth, if you think about the stress dreams coming true it’s kinda funny. If you showed up to your wedding having taken public transit with your dress and wearing a watch, and were all a mess and all the guests turned to look at you as you bust through the reception doors, it would be AMAZING. And people would hug you and laugh and wow what a story you would have. And you would have french toast so….also awesome.

    1. hahahahhahahahahahhaa. It’s true. Just like my dream where I was wearing giant magenta panties to my dress fitting… if it really happened in real life it would just be hilarious. And I would probably pose for giant magenta booty shots, and that would be that.

      And french toast! The fixer of all life’s crazy events.

  3. Even Brian had pre-wedding nightmares. I’m not sure what is up with this phenomenon, but he dreamed he lost his suit and had to wear swim trunks or something. I dreamed I forgot my vows and literally said “f*ck it. I just really love you” at the altar.

    1. Kamel had one the night before last… but I don’t think it was as disturbing. He kind of took it all in stride… like “oh, that was interesting.” Damn him and his easy goingness!!!

  4. I’m about three and a half months away (ahhh! just did the math!) and I had a dream that I ‘forgot’ about my wedding. (See a theme of denial here?) So, it had to be at my mom’s house (who is a borderline hoarder) and I was hiding stacks of crap in the minutes before I walked down the aisle. I was so mad that I had procrastinated and didn’t have any decorations.

    I woke up and immediately started tying up loose ends.

    1. Oh my god yes. Bad dreams can be the biggest motivators to get your shit together, especially when the bad dream is about NOT having your shit together. Just think how productive you’ve become!!

  5. THe other day i had a dream that the wedding was at my neighbor’s house, who i don’t even really know very well, and I kept having to run back and forth to get stuff from my house. Then, right before the wedding was about to start my hairdresser called to say she wan’t coming because Bloomingdales was having a sale on wedding gowns (she’s already married) and she was stuck in the line and refused to leave.

    I woke up freaked out!!

  6. One night I had a wedding nightmare that I was getting dressed, and there were about 6 wedding gowns hanging in the closet – none of them mine (and none of them acceptable wear). In said dream, I also hadn’t told the DJ what song I wanted as the processional song, and this really really stressed me out. I also had several dreams where I was running, like, hours and hours late.

  7. I had a lot of wedding dreams leading up to our wedding, kind of sporadically, not so much every single night, but they all involved something being Hugely wrong but for some reason I wasn’t freaking out or sad over it. Like, I would show up for the wedding and realize at the last minute that I wasn’t in my dress, I was just in jeans and a t-shirt. Or I’d forgotten my veil. Or the officiant got lost and never showed. Or the wedding would start, and I would be walking in but it was just this crowded room, no aisle, and nobody was paying attention as I walked up to zach to get married. Or I was REALLY LATE, and zach was mad at me, and the venue was about to close as I arrived. For some reason I never woke up panicky or anything, and they never escalated to full-on nightmares. I hope yours stay low-key like that. Happy to say they stopped pretty much immediately after the wedding, except one weirdo dream a few months later.

    In non-wedding stress dreams, just a couple nights ago I had a horrible dream about screwing up Waitressing, at a job I had like 6 years ago. NO idea where that came from.

  8. I had tons of bad wedding dreams, mostly about my damn dress… the one I remember best was that it was the day of the wedding and I hadn’t found a dress yet so I ended up wearing a really tight red dress made out of the same material my solomon zip-up hoodie is made out of. And by tight, I mean it was showing my chubby stomach and panty lines and cleavage like no one’s business. And, there was running around and lateness involved too, but the dress is what I remember.

    You’ll get through this. I don’t know how to achieve zen, though. I mean, damn, you’re preparing to be the main entertainment for the biggest party you’ve probably ever put on…this is hard!

    One thing to know: no matter what happens, it will be a great day.

    1. Not to get all deep on your comment, but seems like a lot of people’s bad wedding dreams are about the dress (including mine)… I wonder why? Maybe we are more nervous about how we’ll be perceived on that day than we think we are? Or maybe how we’ll feel in our own skin? Or maybe we’re feeling that we’re over-exposed on that day?

      1. the truth is, we ARE overexposed, we are judged. Everyone is looking at the dress and taking in the experience, as our experiecne, as their experience. Even if all intentions are good (and they never are, let’s be honest), it’s a lot of pressure. And as women we are SO central to the day, the planning, the EVENT. It’s hard to escape the nagging what ifs?!

        1. totally. When I had those dreams, they never felt like I was actually scared of how I looked on that day. Just that people were seeing too much of me (hence the dress that’s five sizes too big and drooping.) PLUS. Yeah, I think the dress just represents general judgement towards the bride. The whole day kind of shows you in a way that allows people to comment and judge and there’s really no two ways about it.

          1. I agree. Good insight! Part of the reason I know I had that dream was because I totally had dress-drama and didn’t really have anything to wear for a while…

            But still, just the fact that it stressed me out so much is telling. The dress is all wrapped up in being a good bride, and performing as the bride, and doing the right thing to perform as the bride and trying to avoid judgement, and representing yourself on the day while (possibly) still nodding to tradition…and I think you’re right about the overexposed part. Usually when I go to a party, or even if I plan a party, and I happen to wear clothes I really feel good in, then I’m happy when one of my buddies is all, “Damn, woman, you look fine!” but when you’re a bride, you’re suposed to have some plan about looking the finest you’ve ever been…and I just couldn’t find the dress to do that and it stressed me out. There is so much EXPECTATION from other people to negotiate…it’s annoying when you just want to show up and celebrate love. Damn weddings! …still, I didn’t love my dress when I got married but I had a fucking fabulous day.

  9. I have recently developed a non-wedding recurring dream. I’m traveling somewhere, and when we’re supposed to be leaving for the airport, I realize that I haven’t packed yet. Then I go into a frenzy trying to pull everything together, but the clothes I want to pack are dirty or I can’t find them or something, so I just get more and more frantic. I’m starting to wonder what happens at the end of that dream: Do I miss my flight? Do I just say “screw it” and leave with whatever I have packed?

    I told my boyfriend about the most recent occurrence of this dream and he made me promise to pack three days early for our trip this fall.

  10. A lot of mine involved not having a properly fitting dress or realizing midway down the aisle that I was still in tshirt and jeans. Closer to the wedding date, I’d dream that I’d walk into the church and the guy at the front wouldn’t be Jason (usually random ex, though one time it was John Hamm. I was still pretty horrified!)

    1. John Hamm! I love it. I’d take him as my second husband any day. 😉

      …also, I had weird running-into-ex-boyfriends-dreams before my wedding too. I don’t think my subconscious could be more clear about reconciling the fact that I was devoting my (love)life to one person and forsaking all others.

  11. THE MOON! I LOVE THE MOON! yay! have you seen that 30 rock episode with buzz aldrin? “Go away you stupid jerk! Don’t you know it’s daytime!! YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!”

  12. Whenever I have something big that I’ve been looking forward to coming up, I have nightmares about forgetting it, or oversleeping and missing it, or being trapped somewhere and unable to get there. Because, of course, I’ve been looking forward to this thing and missing it would suck a lot.

  13. Yay moon!!

    The wedding dreams. They make me breathe huge sighs of relief when I wake up, and then obsess over my wedding lists and projects.

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