Jokes, Jokes I Say

Yesterday’s post and the continuation that was on APW was about my experiences with Pre-Cana and the joy I’ve found in it, the reassurance I discovered in the process. But there was a big part I left out because APW has a wide audience, and it isn’t my blog, so I wanted to censor myself a touch. I mean, not everything is appropriate for the internet, and having a blog is a lesson in restraint 95% of the time…. even if my mother wishes I had even MORE of it. (hi mom!)

But here! These are all my people. And you wouldn’t be here if I’ve offended you in the past so here goes. So, we were almost done with our latest pre-cana session where our marriage counselor was reading off our answers. And he asked us if we would like to discuss any other points, so we looked at the sheet where our comparisons were charted (you would be surprised if you were our neighbors and heard how much we fight that we had many, many 100% compatibility sections) and Kamel wanted to discuss a question about children. He was unsure of the question that asked “I put my relationship first, before my children” or something to that effect. We’ve talked about this – how our relationship needs to be strong and cared for in order to keep our household strong and cared for, etc. But Kamel was asking about specifics. His comment was, “Well what if something happens or our kid needs us, how do we balance our children’s needs and our own?”

To which I replied, “Like if johnny breaks his leg? If johnny breaks his leg, then we cancel dinner plans, but it’s still important to make those dinner plans and keep time for ourselves barring any medical emergency.”

And the marriage counselor went on to talk about how we are the foundation of our family and we need to take time to recognize that otherwise the children will run us ragged. If we don’t make the time, it just won’t be there, etc.

Kamel then asked, “Well what if we have a disabled kid? What happens then?”

And without missing a BEAT and with a completely straight face I replied, “Well, then we drown them at birth. Problem solved.”

The look on Kamel’s face was priceless … the look of horror and of “what have you DONE?!” But the look on the catholic marriage prep leader’s face was even better. I think his jaw hit the floor, and he sort of rocked in his chair like I’d hit him. That’s when I started laughing and reassuring the room that I was joking. Jokes! Jokes!

I may be queen of the inappropriate timing, but my ability to give Kamel a mini heart attack without missing a beat is still one of the most fun things ever. Ya gotta keep it fresh, ya gotta keep it exciting. I’m sure our marriage prep guy (Steve) went home that night with a fantastic story to tell his wife. Winners all around, right?

Let’s just hope he still signs our forms next time he sees us.

18 thoughts on “Jokes, Jokes I Say”

  1. Omg, I love you. I spend our pre-cana meetings on the edge of my chair, afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and make the priest go “ah, you clearly don’t actually want to be here, go find somewhere else”.
    (I hasten to add that we did an Engaged Encounter, which was much more counselling-based than our precana has been (our parish does it as preparation for the sacrament, so there’s a lot more quizzes on passages of scripture and a lot less compatability tests.).

    Now I know that next time we have a meeting, I’ll think of this and burst out laughing in the middle of the discussion. Thank you.

  2. I keep saying it, but …. I freaking love you. You keep coming up with new reasons for me to, so it’s totally your fault.

    I would have LOVED to see the reactions. I’d like to think my pastor would have gotten a kick out of it (and realized right away it was a joke), but man, my mother would have KILLED me.

  3. That totally sounds like something I would say – joking, of course, but I love to throw things in to throw people off. This is why my husband is always afraid to take me into public places, and reminds me of certain social etiquette rules before we go in. Ha!

  4. I have tears in my eyes! I love this!! You’re awesome.

    Man, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at Steve’s house that night.

  5. I was sneaking a read while my 6 yr olds took their spelling make-up test. I SNORTED WITH LAUGHTER. …not so sly on my behalf.

    That was fun. More please!

  6. This post was hilarious – I would have peed my pants laughing if my fiance had said that during our meetings. Was this the FOCCUS test? I think my ultimate favorite was the question to the effect of of ‘children may or may not be part of our reason for getting married .’ J and I both had a good laugh at that one. First of all, the question was one of those quadruple-negatives. Second, are they trying to trick me into saying I’m pregnant? Or are they asking if we want to have kids once we’re married? I don’t get it. The person going through our test must have thought I am pregnant and abused because some of those questions seriously confused me.

  7. That’s the shit I say.

    C and I joke about how he will die before me. He then responds that it will be because I took it too far. OH YES.

  8. YAY! I’m glad I made everybody laugh today. 🙂 I’ve been totally overwhelmed and dragging lately, so all of these comments were awesome to read throughout the day. Thank you!

  9. Love it 🙂

    Burst out laughing so hard Mark had to come in and ask what was going on. He laughed too when I read it to him 🙂 Thanks for brightening up my evening on what has been a tough day…

  10. This is perfect! When we had our first meeting with the campus minister from Seattle U it was totally strange and on the verge of creepy because it was a kid my brother used to hang out with. He kept doing the long pause and mmmmm-ing to our responses. I would have died if he had conducted our pre-cana. I was waiting for my husband to say something jokingly that would exclude us from a Catholic church marriage. You two would get along swimmingly.

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