I am (still) a Writer

I am exhausted. No, seriously… I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck and then they put it in reverse and rolled over me again. Sigh, but all of this is nothing but whine whine whine. The other truth, the non exhausting truth, is that I’m happily doing some of the best writing I’ve done since 2009. And I don’t even know if 2009 was a good year, but it was the year I finished my book so I figure that’s something.

I’ve been having a hard time submitting to places because I feel like the writing is good, but I never think it’s good enough for other people to like it too. This is a common writer problem. The “I’m a writer, but god forbid anyone see my work. Who me? No! Look away! It’s too hideous!” I hate this mindset. If you’re writing, you’re writing because you have stories you want other people to read. You’re writing stuff down because when it lives in your head it gets all confused and writing it down brings it to life, it also happens to be the only way (besides the lovely skill of oral tradition, that no one is capable of doing any more because we all have .3 second attention spans) of remembering anything.

But here I am, feeling like I’m writing some good stuff, and clamming up at the thought of sending it out for my collection of rejection letters. Woe is me. Life is difficult and all that.

But I thought I would share it with you. A little taste of what I’ve been working on during the weekends. A little gem. And yes, there is still going to be a small collection of stories available in the coming months. Wee!

“Ms. Bradley? Did you hear the door shut? Ms. Bradley?” Ben, that nice young man, was calling after her, but she was already to the side walk and there was no turning back now. The air was clean, she felt it was the perfect temperature, the perfect crispness, with a touch of metallic to it, like when it came straight out of the purifier. Her slippers felt delicious on her feet. She thought the word and then forgot what it meant precisely, but enjoyed the taste of it in her mouth, regardless.

“Delicious…” she tried it out, practiced the bit at the end, “licious.” She licked her lips, now a bit chapped from the sudden change in temperature, the dryness of the winter.

Ms. Bradley was not always Ms. Bradley, at one time she was Anna. This is the person she remembers the most. The beach house, the two dogs, her painting, that sapphire dress, and Paris. Ms. Bradley remembered Anna in Paris very well.

21 thoughts on “I am (still) a Writer”

  1. Ooooooo! Hi there and what a nice post to come home to! (I’m realizing I’m never going to catch up on the ones I missed while I was gone…) I want to read more!!! Is this the novel, or a short story? I want to know her story!

  2. This was just mean. Give me more. (I totally read that and said “delicious” and “licious” out loud while I was reading it. It really is a good word to say…)

  3. Hi Lauren. I’m new! Never commented. However, I’m chiming in now: your snippet of story is lovely. I especially love a story about a (seemingly) rebellious old lady taking off on her own. Great job! Keep it up. And definitely submit!

  4. Can you introduce me to Anna in Paris? I think I’d like to be her.

    “She thought the word and then forgot what it meant precisely, but enjoyed the taste of it in her mouth, regardless.”

    That was so brilliant. Remember me when you’re mega famous.

  5. I can totally relate to the “don’t read my writing!” phobia. I started my blog because I have a creative writing degree and work in IT (how did that happen?!), but I don’t often post snippets of my WRITING because it’s embarrassing andwhatifnobodylikesit.

    The good news is, THIS IS REALLY GOOD. And what a good snippet to share – all these cries for more more more have got to be petting your ego like a mother! (Let me add myself to the chorus, btw – tell me more about Anna please. And also Ben, that nice young man.)

  6. I will push you every day to get this book published if that’s what it takes. This excerpt was just to good to let you not be persistent.

    P.S. I have a series of books YOU need to read. Message me.

  7. You guys. You have no idea how much all of your comments have meant to me today. I’ve had a crap day, full of headaches (literal and imagined), breaking things, work crazies, exhaustion, commutes that suck (I just got home and I left at 4), and JANKY ass computers that don’t allow me to be on Gchat (I KNOW!). And this, your encouragement, has brought me to tears. Seriously. I live in my little world where very few people read my work while I’m working on it, let alone when it’s finished, and your feedback makes me sing.

    Some clarifications: This is an excerpt from a short story that will be in a collection of 3 I’ll be selling on this here blog in a few months (ahem, whenever I finish them). I was hoping to get them out by Jan but it just didn’t happen. I scrapped a story and started over – that’s the jist. I did write a book, a full cover to cover novel, that only one person has ever read in its entirety. I am incredibly proud of it, but I also know it isn’t complete in the way I want it to be and haven’t had the energy or time to tackle it again. I’m hoping that’s a project I can complete when I can someday make it my top priority and lose the 9-5.

    As always, I will keep you posted on this part of my career, I will be forever grateful for your continued support and honesty, and will always return the favor to the best of my abilities.

    Really, thank you so much.

  8. Lauren, do you know how you want to bind the chapbooks yet? I love love love paper crafts and know a smidge about bookbindery (hello 4 years of working in a university library preservations department!) and would really love to support you in this endeavor if that’s something you’d like help in. (And if not, it’s totally okay too! I can absolutely understand if you feel it needs to be 100% yours. :))

    Yay, so excited!

    1. Umm… I was just going to submit it to a site and then they would bind them for me? I have dreams of buying amazingly textured paper and stamping the covers something lovely though. I will unabashedly take you up on your offer if you really, really mean it. I don’t want to burden you with book making. I am not even sure how you would go about such a thing. We should email.

  9. Glad to hear the masses are getting what they want (a full story) but I could honestly read a whole book’s worth of nothing but intriguing little snippets like this. Keep it up : )

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