Stolen

Did I ever tell you the story of how Maris bought me jewelery and sent it to my apartment without a warning and I thought someone stole my identity in order to send me presents? I’m sure I have… Anyways, the point of that is – I jump to conclusions.

Now, to what this post is really about. Kamel and I spent Christmas in Seattle with my family and we had a few holiday events planned so I brought a variety of jewelery (ok, 90% of the jewelery that I own because I am accessory disabled). I had a cuff that Claire bought me for my birthday, a tear drop pearl necklace that I wore for sr. prom, and my big tourquoise pendant. When we were packing up I was just tossing all of the loose stuff (face powder, eyelash curler, and various jewelery) into the pockets of our carry ons, and then when we got to the airport we had to check them since we were also flying back with Nordstrom bags full of presents.

When we went to unpack the bags I noticed that all of my jewelery and some of my makeup was gone. Of course, I blamed Kamel (in my mind.. and then later outloud) for putting it away in the wrong place. I just assumed it was shoved into some drawer with my socks or something so I kind of forgot about it, thinking I would bother him about it later.

But then I needed to pack for Alt. And I was scrambling for the few accessories I have, insisting that Kamel had put them somewhere even if he didn’t remember ever seeing them. He kept asking me if I had left them in Seattle, and I kept asking him where he had squirreled them away. Old luggage was dragged out of our closet, pockets were checked and checked again, to no avail. The jewelery was lost. Stolen even. I was sure that because I had put them into the outside pocked of one of the carry ons that a baggage handler had simply unzipped and swiped all of the contents. Kamel thought maybe they had fallen out.

So I went to Alt, and ever since Alt, I have been mourning my jewelery, trying to come to grips that all of my best stuff has been swept away and now I need to start rebuilding (I know, three pieces and I fall apart… but really, it’s all that hangs on my jewelery tree, without it I have nothing). I went through all the steps of grief. First I was in denial, searching all of the bags, then I was pissed – How could they DO this? And now all of my stuff is just GONE. Then I was sad and then, eventually, I had moved on to acceptance. Nothing to do about it now, let’s just look for new accessories. Sigh.

Until Tuesday morning when Kamel was getting his stuff ready for work. He was in the living room and I was in the bedroom when I heard him call out, “Lauren! I just LOVE how you look for things!!” and then he started laughing. I call innocently back, “Whaaat?” when he stomps in and tosses a handful of my STOLEN jewelery onto the bed.

“It was in the computer bag ALL ALONG. The computer bag YOU USE.”

“Weeee!!!” I exclaimed.

“How could you not have seen it?”

“I dunno… I didn’t look?”

“Those poor baggage handles,” he said, “With all of that blame being placed upon them.”

19 thoughts on “Stolen”

  1. LAUREN! I specifically remember talking sh*t at Alt about dirty baggage handlers who pick through your bags and steal your stuff and how some beefy guy was walking around wearing your jewelry and using your makeup.
    Now I get your bad karma too. *sigh*

    But I totally do this. I’m currently missing some mail that I’ve been looking for and can’t find for forever, and I’m convinced that Matt moved it. (because he touches my stuff and I NO LIKE IT!!!!)
    I’ll probably find it next month in my shoe somewhere….

    1. I know!! I’m a horrible looker-for-things!! Ugghh and then I’m like Well! A theif must have silently climbed through my window in the dead of night to still my favorite pair of socks. That bastard! When really, they just fell behind the hamper. womp.

  2. oh man. i have done this. although, i’m more of the…call up tsa and verbally abuse and blame them type…but yeah. we couldn’t find the tv remote recently for..months. literally. and i was asking isaiah where he had put it…silently plotting what i was gonna say when i found them…and then we packed away the christmas decorations under the bed and the TV remote was INSIDE of a cookie tin inside of the gigantic bin the decorations are in. definitely has “lizzie” written all over it.

    hilarious story, lady. for sure.

    1. oh my god. hahahaha INSIDE?? the cookie tin?? hahahahaha.

      I’ve found cereal in the freezer before and the remote inside the cupboards with the plates because of Kamel’s spaciness. It just makes me laugh. Sometimes I’ll ask him to put away a box of crackers and find it sitting on the banister or something …. And when i ask him about it he’ll say “oh yeah! I knew I put that somewhere…” the pair of us are a disaster.

  3. HA! I do this ALL. THE. TIME. Drives Jon batty.

    As a result, I hang on to single earrings for years on end, CONVINCED the match will at some point show up. Because everyone has convinced me I just misplace things and don’t loose them (they’re right).

    Two stories, though.

    Once upon a time I had WONDERFUL sunglasses. My favorites. And I left them sitting on my desk at work, in a locked office. Next morning? Of course, they were gone. Not only did I complain, I got the cleaners fired. Fast forward 4 years (to last week). Flipping through some old photos of an ex (photos 4 years old … but brand new to facebook) I see my sunglasses! ON. HIS. FACE.

    He always told me he was going to steal them. I just didn’t take him seriously. Asshat. Those poor unemployed cleaners…

    Ok, story two:

    Once, when I was small, my grandmother lost a beloved bracelet. The house was searched high and low, and completely torn apart multiple times over the course of several months. One afternoon, after we’d given up searching, she was sitting at the kitchen table. I clearly remember her, talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette, in one of her gorgeous slips. She stood up to put the phone back, and the bracelet fell out of her lap. FELL. OUT. OF. HER. LAP.

    Until the day she died, she was convinced the house was haunted. I’m still convinced.

      1. DUDE, I felt SO BAD.

        As for him … I was dating him at the time. He probably took them from my car. Thinking back, it was him that asked if I’d left them at work in the first place. Sleazy.

  4. Ok I know this wasn’t the main point to the story, but here’s the secret to having a good accessories collection. Every time you go shopping, even if it’s just to look, buy one accessory. It’s not too expensive, and it will help you build up a really nice collection 😀

    This recently happened to my parents, a camera was taken out of their checked luggage… Maybe I should tell them to check all their bags again 😀

  5. sometimes they really are stolen! our office thief only steals food apparently. and they are very particular. I have this candy dish at my desk, most candy gets eaten piece by piece by random people (ok mostly me). one day I put rolos in there, and the whole dish was empty the next morning! there was just a bit of foil lying there all sad. THEN just recently my bag of 3 clementines disappeared overnight. >:-( I’m really not sure if it’s our executive director or the cleaning staff. OR super sneaky food ninjas.

    but that is hilarious. usually I am the one to find things that go missing in our apartment, but if it’s a completely ridiculous case of misplacement, that’s usually me. in college I couldn’t find my headphones all semester. it wasn’t until pulling a box from under my bed in order to pack things back up that I found the headphones, nestled in a box with some instant pho and a teddy bear.

  6. I get *insane* when I’ve lost things. Anything that I need/want at any given moment will bring me to frustrated tears, but I mostly just wander around the house complaining until I find it. When I lost a diamond necklace Roger had given me to celebrate coming home from Oxford, I was a mess for about six months until it mysteriously showed up in my jewelry box one day, to great sighs of happy relief.

    (An addendum to this story is that my younger sister used to be AMAZING at finding things. If anyone lost anything, she could walk around the house for about 30 seconds, and find it for them. When she was about 12, she admitted it was because she was almost always the one who took the missing item.)

  7. I blame the gnomes. The same ones who steal socks and put dirty dishes in our sink. They are probably the ones who borrowed your jewelery. Damn gnomes…

  8. If it makes you feel better, bag handlers DID steal my national monuments charm bracelet from my 8th grade trip to D.C. on my flight home. It was in the outside pocket of my suitcase. Saddest day ever : (

  9. I did this last week–I was talking to C and thinking about something else while cleaning the kitchen. The next morning I realized that I’d lost MY ENTIRE CHOCOLATE CAKE!

    I freaked and thought the dog had eaten it, I was heartbroken because it was the first cake I ever liked.

    Then I made lunch and opened the Rubbermaid cupboard to put away the leftovers: and my cake was in it. On a plate. The whole cake.

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