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I’m Being Overrun Pt. 2

So, the car seemed to be handled, except for my chronic fear while driving that left me twitchy and probably a hazard to the road that ants would come pouring forth from the dashboard at any given moment and eat me alive. Possibly irrational? Yes. Totally terrifying? YES.

And then we were ant free. Until the following Thursday. No ants in the car on Monday, and then suddenly ants all over our counters in our kitchen on Thursday. Whhhhhhy??? I was home alone, probably writing a blog or doing something online, and I went to get a glass of water and noticed ants, crawling haphazardly all around the clean dishes in the dish drainer, all over the clean dishes, and even in the sink, which had nothing in it. Curiouser and curiouser. By this time I was just so annoyed by the ants, that I really wasn’t freaked out anymore, I was just tired of it. So I stayed out of the kitchen…. until I needed a snack… and then I opened the cupboards and there were ants crawling over all of our dried goods, all over the peanut butter, all over the sauces and spices, all willy nilly, with no line, no direction, just wandering around and driving me fucking crazy!!

Kamel got home around 9:30 and I hadn’t eaten because… ew. And even he, the eternal flame of patience, was totally icked out. So we whipped out the ant traps, we sprinkled pepper all over our cupboards… even as the ants were crawling on the ceiling. And then we hoped it would clear up over night, but the next morning ants were still there. All over our clean dishes, all over everything! So we made breakfast, put the peanut butter in the fridge (After rinsing it off because it was … covered), and left for the day. Well, Kamel needed to grab something in the apartment during his lunch break, and when he got back to the office I got pinged on gchat.

Kamel: You would have died.

Me: What?

Kamel: There were so many ants that I panicked and just started killing all of them. Lauren, it was a swarm! All over the sink!

Me: I would have puked.

Kamel: And it was all because I left a rinsed off spoon that had little, little speck of peanut butter in the sink. The spoon was BLACK!

Me: That’s it, we’re calling the landlord RIGHT when we get home.

But the apartment manager was shocked to hear we had ants, said he hadn’t had anyone complain about ants in 10 years! He told us to keep the traps out and in a few days it should work, but if not we should lure them out with some sugar and see if they form a line and then we can plug up whatever hole they are marching through. Puke.

Eventually they did leave, slowly, slowly. Except on Saturday I went to get a glass of water and after taking a gulp I saw an ant larvae floating in the water. EWWW!! And then last night I saw one ant roaming my cupboards again. Barf.

This just isn’t fair! we are clean! and yet… we have bugs. And now Kamel is out of town until Saturday night and I really, really hope that there is not a part 3 to this story.

10 Comments

  1. Thinking back, i’m glad these stories weren’t about earwigs anymore. Ew.

    I hope all our chemical warfare against the ants works.

  2. ICK. I really hope it’s done.

  3. You know what works really well at getting rid of ants? Spiders.

    Back when I was in high school, my parents had an ant problem in their downstairs bathroom. We tried poison, we tried the electromagnet stuff, we tried everything, and nothing worked. Then one night when I was watching TV in the family room I saw a spider darting across the floor. I dove for it and caught it in my hands. As I was about it take it outside and give it back to the wild, I was reminded that there were still ants crawling in the bathroom. So I took the little spider into the bathroom and put it in the area where the ants were. It crawled underneath the floor board (where the ants were too) and disappeared. Within 2 days the ants were gone. Can’t win the fight against nature? Fight nature with nature.

    A lot of people don’t like spiders or get the creeps from them. My main view on it is I can handle spiders, they’re easy to keep under control. Spiders are individualists, they don’t swarm. Ants on the other hand… those things can get a little out of control. Choose your poison.

    • This. is what I was trying to say on twitter the other day.

      I had ants in an old apartment and it still grosses me out. It was around Easter and jelly beans were involved. I believe we ended up hiring an exterminator after multiple failed attempts and it worked. Best $150 spent ever.

  4. Oh Lauren my dear! I feeeeeel your pain!! I havent decided whats worse, a sworm of ants or a lone mouse (and thank God its alone and not making babies!!!) This bastard…….managed to chew through half of our top ramen and other not so healthy goods in our pantry AND chewed parts of the wall!! We have 3 traps set, 2 being the good ole fashioned ones and one spiffy one that claims to trap them inside this little contraption, alive, then you can be nice and let the bastard go. He scoffs at the contraption and gorges himself on all the cheese and peanut butter! We are now finding ourselves just refilling his little platter everyday! Argh!! Ill cross my fingers for you if you cross yours for me!!!

  5. Exterminators are the only way to go. Make your landlord schedule an appointment asap, because that’s the only way to kill those suckers! They’d carry off a sleeping dog if they could.

  6. Oh Lauren, you poor thing! I’m generally pretty non-grossed out by bugs, but imagining finding that in my kitchen gives me the heebie-jeebies. Without even having to see them.

  7. Oh my goodness, that is really terrifying. I wish I had some advice for you, but I don’t really have any experience with swarming ants. Hugs and I’ll send you some good vibes that they are all gone.

  8. We tried the traps and they didn’t work, so we called a real exterminator. They came back again, and the exterminator returned a second time (follow-up visits are free) and then they were gone for good. Time to call in the big guns! Good luck. It made us NUTS.

  9. Just stalking you from over at APW…

    The best thing I’ve come across for ants is diluted peppermint Dr. Bronner’s in a spray bottle. One little spritz and those buggers shrivel up and die. It almost makes me feel bad how they curl up, but at least it’s quick… and clean! Nothing better than killer soap. Supposedly the DB erases their chemical trails, too. That being said, I’ve never had to deal with an infestation of your size. Ours was limited to the kitchen counter on the outside wall of the house and was started by a empty, rinsed beer bottle headed for the recycling…

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Who the hell is she?


Lauren

I am a writer living in Seattle and I believe that life is a grand adventure and only boring if you believe it to be. Plus! You don't need money to have fun.

I live with my husband, a photographer by education and a maker-of-video-games by trade, and a baby named gabe in an apartment on the hill.

I am romantic about most things and I cry... about almost anything. I tell stories to entertain you, I spread stories to keep you in the loop. I am not a grammar freak, but I do know how to spell it. I am exceedingly proud of my scrambled eggs and I really could eat an entire pan of cupcakes. If I met me, I would be my best friend. I tend to be irreverent.

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.


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