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All Those Visitors

On Monday I had exactly 2,841 views on this here blog. About 2,741 of those views were from APW readers I had a flood (to me) of comments on both Monday and Tuesday, so if you’re wondering who those people were, they’re now my new, awesome friends.

On Tuesday I had a post up on APW, the first in a wedding planning series I’m doing over there, and I spent a huge chunk of my evening reading those comments and swelling, like a big red balloon, with so much joy and love and holy-shit-people-actually-enjoy-my-writing-ness, that I felt a little like I was floating. That, and I had to keep reminding myself to close my maw because, in the world of writing, you don’t get a lot of positive feedback. When you ask for feedback it’s mostly to tell you what you fucked up on and should change, immediately.

On Monday I was straight up overwhelmed with the number of visitors, with the increased followers on twitter, with all the comments, and then on Tuesday I was filled up to the brim with gratitude for all of those kind, finny, unique, gracious strangers. It’s taken me a few days to let it all soak in, and to gain a little perspective.

Since Tuesday my number have fallen back toward the place where my numbers were before Meg’s announcement and all of her benevolent linkage. The visits, though, are higher than they were before, so at least I have SOME retention.

The thing is, I’m a writer. Everyday I write, or think about what I’m going to write next. Sometimes it’s made up things, and sometimes it’s here, where I spill the beans about my daily life. And I don’t have a niche. I really don’t. I don’t cook, I shop like everybody else shops, I have a Life List but I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last, and I write about wedding stuff because I’m getting married. And I definitely don’t write because I have all of the answers. If you’re here now and if you come back, it’s because I entertain you, I say things that you agree with, I show you parts of my life that you are curious about, I make you laugh, I (hopefully) make you think. I honestly don’t know if I will ever have the readership that APW has. But do I want it? Maybe. Having all of those readers and all of those comments was impressive and wonderful, but it also made me feel exposed. It raised the bar for the quality of writing here. Because, let’s be real, you all don’t stay for my looks. And that’s a good thing. I felt the challenge and I will meet it.

What I initially set out to say today, though this turned into something much large than I intended, was THANK YOU. Thank you for coming, and reading, and commenting. Even if you came just that once, thank you. Because you’ve pushed me to be better, write better, and entertain better – which really means living a more adventurous life. I really hope you stay to see the result.


  1. Your niche is you. And we like it. Amend: I like it. You’ve kept me. :) Hope that’s okay!

  2. I come here for your looks! You should post a bigger picture of that date night photo, cause you’re looking HOT!

  3. Just a note to say that some of us are still following your lovely words without visiting through Google Reader, etc. We didn’t all leave!


  4. Thank YOU for writing! Agree with Jenny that at least some of us are following through Google Reader. I like your style.

  5. I third the Google Reader comment. 58 people have subscribed to your blog through Google Reader, so think of that as 58 extra pages views every time you post! Good stuff.

    • Wow!! How do you know that stat? From everything I see I only have 12.

  6. I’m a big fan too!

  7. Feedburner, honey. We’ll talk.

    But really, mostly, I want to say that this is NORMAL, and it never goes away. APW started exactly like this (ok, well, honestly, it was much less fancy). When I got my first big link I got 305 hits in one day, which I told David was, “Obviously unsustainable” and then he laughed at me, and said I would sustain it one day (duh). And he was right. I get more hits than that on Christmas day now (oh, jews).

    Anyway, get used to the feeling, because it’s not going anywhere. You should see my stats two days after CNN wrote about me. You think your drop was big? Mwahahahaha. Ha.

    Write with passion and honesty about what you want to write about, and try to ignore your stats. David checks mine, I don’t. I’ve met bloggers who’s husbands have the password to their google analytics and they don’t. This is HEALTHY.

    So. Yes. You’re doing just fine. And maybe one day you’ll figure out a niche. Or not. It’s less niche and more perspective, getting really honest and focused on what yours is, and what your voice is, and what you want to say to the world. That’s it.

  8. retention here!

  9. Admittedly, I ended up here, through APW. But I think the reason I come back is that this blog feels like I could’ve written it, if I ever gave myself the chance. You give me a little hope, a good laugh, and every once in a while, a swift kick in the a**.
    So thanks, friend :)

  10. I’m stickin’ around too! I really enjoy your writing.

  11. Sorry, you’re in my G-Reader now. You’re not getting rid of me. :)

  12. As a recently engaged, slightly overwhelmed, hoodie afficianado, your writing gives me hope for sanity… or at least reassurance that I’m not alone in my insanity!

  13. I’m an APW reader too and I think you are funny and awesome! And your engagement pictures are fantastic! My husband and I did our photos in the backyard at our house. At first when I got them back I was a little disappointed that we didn’t look like fashion models with dreamy looks on our faces. We are instead laughing and goofing around as we play guitar and feed Temptations cat treats to our neighbours cats! But now I love them because they look like us and not snotty fashion models. So I send you much congratulations for rockin’ the hoodies!

  14. I have come back too.
    I also have zero clue how many people look at my blog.

  15. Did I mention how insanely proud I am you!!?? Looooook at YOU miss blogger ladypants!!

  16. Wow, dude: “I end up putting road blocks between me and some of the scarier or harder goals”. You hit the nail on the head- isn’t that true for most of us? I’m totally going to think about that next time I mentally tear down whatever ambition I’ve set for myself.

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Who the hell is she?


Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

If you would like to chat with me or see what else I'm up to you can follow me on Twitter (betterinrealife), on facebook, or email me at betterinrealife at gmail.