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On Monday I drove home from work convinced Kamel didn’t love me anymore. Why you ask? Because I was on my period. And no matter what anyone says – hormones have much to do with life, and can make normally sane people, crazy. So when I got home that day I crawled into bed and played Super Mario Brothers on the DS, still fully clothed, and waited for Kamel to come home.

When Kamel walked in the door he called out, “Lauren! Lauren?” and I mumbled, “In here,” with the comforter up around my mouth and my eyes fixed to the screen.

“Lauren? What are you doing?” he said at the door.

“Nothing…. you don’t love me anymore.”

“What?” and he laughed, and crawled into bed next to me and kissed the back of my neck while I was still cocooned like a crazy in my comforter. “Of course I love you,” he said, “I love you more than anything ever in the whole world and I’m never ever going to stop no matter what. Unless you cheat on me. And then I’ll still love you, but I’ll leave, so don’t do that ok?”

“No, but, but…” and then I listed off the million wedding stresses that I had and the million things I needed to get done and how he wasn’t help me at all! Not at all! Not even a little bit. And then he explained to me how he was doing lots of things, but just behind the scenes and without telling me, because he didn’t think he had to. Oh him. One day he’ll learn.

“And guess what?! I ordered you a surprise! From Amazon! And it came today! Do you wanna see it?”

And I shook my head, yes. Because now I’m 5 years old and my future husband is taking care of me. He jumped off the bed and ran into the other room and before he entered he commanded me to close my eyes. So I did. And when I held out my hand, a package was placed upon it. and in that package were….

Crazy Straws!!!


  1. We have crazy straws!!!!!!!!

    You're fun!


  2. That is a very cute 5-year-old face. :)

  3. OH, that was me, by the way!

    Julie P.

  4. I think the giiiiant cup helps too. mmmm lemonade! And thanks for the comment Julie! I'm flattered you read my blog!!

  5. I love this post! :)

    And crazy straws are awesommmmme!!!!

  6. Oh that is excellent. And this is why I order stuff from Amazon–so when it gets there it will be a perfect surprise. And I will now go bookmark it to remind myself to buy silly fun things through the next 10 months!


  1. Drum-Roll, Please | Wedding Guide - [...] read this post about feminism (prompted by some of our conversations on APW), and this post about curly straws…

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Who the hell is she?


Seattle/Writer/Adventurer/Married to Kamel/Maker of many mistakes/Mom of 1 Gabriel and 1 TBD/Baker of things/Roaster of Vegetables/Maker of videos/Normal life photographer/Romantic/Irreverent/Honest

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